Just need to write it down & get some positive thoughts on it all

Ok, I will give a quick run down of things to date for those of you who might not know our story.

My oldest Evan, is 10. From about the age of 3 he has displayed high anxiety & obssessive behaviours. As he got older & started school things became more intense. After many many appointments with psychs, speech, OT, counsellors etc, He was Diagnosed with Aspergers & SPD last year.

The last five or so years have been filled with meltdowns, anxiety, sleepless nights & lots of tears.
The onset of term 3 brought with it a massive regression in his behaviour at school which resulted in a unofficial suspension & a duel enrolment with distance education. He now does 2 days at home & 3 at school. When he is at school he has a full time aide by his side & only spends about 30% of the day in the class room.

We started him on Lovan at the end of term 1.

School tells me he is classic ADHD & not Aspergers. OT does not agree, nor do I.

our pead referred us to the child psychiatrist with child youth mental health, who we saw on thursday. I was really hoping this guy would have some answers. Would take the time to really explore our situation. But instead he handed me a bit of paper with classroom observations on it & said he agrees that he is classic ADHD.
I am beyond frustrated. YES he displays ADHD behaviour but I dont believe its because he has ADHD. I think the behaviour is avoidance, anxiety & sensory based. But he didn't even look at the previous evidence that shows this or even talk to Evan at the appointment. Simply took this single sheet of paper & ran with it. My problem with this is this is only a picture of him in one situation. A situation he finds extremely stressful.

The plan is to increase the lovan & see how that goes while getting a blood test to check his metabolism for when we put him on Strettera (for ADHD). I don't plan to put him on this medication. I don't think its the right thing for him. The team at CYMH will also scrap everything we have done & start the assessment process all over again. Something I have spent the last 5 years doing, following my gut. All for nothing.
My biggest concern he is getting more aggressive again ( was this way around age 7 also) & I am sporting a lovely bruised forearm from him biting me on Tuesday night. We need help & answers now. But re assessing everything is going to take who knows how long. I dont feel like I can keep up with this anymore. Its destroying me as a mother, as a person. I am physically & emotionally abused by my 10 yr old son daily.

We don't have much option up here in Cairns to go private. Everything I have done the last 18 months has been privately but he simply don't have anyone here who knows enough about ASD. I will go south if we need too but obviously with 5 kids its not as easy done as it is said.

What would you do?

Wish I had advice but just wanted to say you are doing a great job being a mum to your kids and doing the best you can for Evan.

Hugs, sounds like you are doing the best you can. What I may consider doing is approaching it as Asperger's and ADHD are considered to be co-morbid (ie they occur together quite often) so see if a dual diagnosis could be appropriate. Then the "specialist" (about whom I would make a written complaint) cannot ignore the Aspie side of the diagnosis.

Asperger's does NOT mean physical and emotional abuse though - so there may well be something else in play. If school is making him worse, is homeschooling/distance education full-time a better option or can you not do that right now?

The abuse is from the meltdowns. I am his safe zone so he takes it out on me. He isn't abusive as such. Im just his punching bag. I believe he has ODD also. I am open to the idea of a comorbid Dx of ADHD & Aspie but they seemed to ignore the aspie side when talking about it all. Like its completely off the radar that he is. One of the concerns also raised by his OT is that he is Bipolar & again that wasn't even mentioned (other then by me).

I don't want to look at it as if its just ADHD. I honestly don't think it is