The amazing and quick birth of Shoopy
Sorry for the epic length! No wonder it took me a week to finally finish it!
Bit of backstory
DF (DP at the time) and I started TTC in February 2011. We weren’t expecting it to happen straight away given we were only seeing each other every second weekend due to my living/working interstate and PCOS but I was hopeful it wouldn’t take too long. Going off the pill, my cycles went back to being very all over the place and were anything from 35 – 43 days though there was one cycle that last 71 days. After 6 months I was back in Adelaide with DF and we decided we should speak to the GP to make sure there was nothing aside from the PCOS that may prevent us falling pregnant. We were referred to a fertility specialist who ordered a bunch of tests for us both and everything looked fine. It seemed the problem was the fact that I wasn’t ovulating so Clomid was discussed. Problem was my BMI was too high and the fertility specialist told us I would need to lower my BMI before Clomid could be given to me as there was a higher risk of things going wrong during the pregnancy and birth with a high BMI. So we left deciding to focus on losing some weight, and in the new year we’d go back and see the fertility specialist again. It was getting me down that I wasn’t ovulating and that my body wasn’t doing what it was meant to and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for having to look at the possibility of IVF. I also started researching adoption as it’s something DF and I would like to consider at some point anyway. In November on the drive to Melbourne for a friend’s wedding, DF proposed. I decided we should stop ‘trying’ to conceive as it was stressing me out too much and all my focus went onto planning a wedding.
Around Christmas I had some spotting and my boobs were super sore. I had been getting some spotting a few days before AF arrived and quite sore boobs in the days before AF for the previous few cycles so figured AF was on its way but had this niggle that it may have been a sign of pregnancy as my boobs had never been that sore before. I was avoiding POAS as I didn’t want the disappointment of a BFN so figured I’d just wait it out a bit. The day before NYE I went out and bought tests as I figured by that point the test should be fairly accurate but I’d wait until the following morning to be totally sure. That night we had friends over for dinner and after dinner I started feeling quite sick and had a lot of pain in my abdomen. I tried ignoring it but it just kept getting worse and worse so DF took me to the hospital. After sitting in the waiting room for 3 hours, I finally got called and they asked me if I was pregnant as that would have an impact on any pain medication I was given. I told the doctor it was possible since we were trying and I was planning to do a test the following morning. I was told they would take a urine sample to check for pregnancy and since they were taking blood anyway they would also do a blood test. A short time later the doctor came back in and said “The test is positive. For baby”. All the pain went away for a brief moment and I burst into tears! I was so happy that we finally had our BFP! (The pain was something to do with my gall bladder which thankfully has not happened since!)
The pregnancy
My pregnancy was quite easy and went very smoothly. I was hoping to get into the MGP but due to my high BMI, I had to go under obstetric care. To be honest I’m pretty annoyed about it now because despite being put into the high risk basket, at every appointment the doctor I saw (different doctor at each appointment) would tell me how low risk my pregnancy had been. I never had morning sickness, all my test results came back perfect, the only real issue I had was being really tired the whole 9 months. I was expecting my back to give me grief due to a lower back injury, but even that held up really well until the last few weeks when Shoopy was getting lower and was obviously sitting in the wrong spot. I thought I’d be anxious (as I suffer from anxiety) but I was so calm and relaxed through the whole pregnancy and the more I read and researched, the better I felt about things. I loved watching my body change and for the first time ever, I didn’t think I looked hideous and disgusting. I loved my baby bump and was constantly rubbing my belly. Feeling my baby moving inside me was the most amazing feeling and I loved seeing the look on DF’s face every time he felt her move.
Despite everyone telling me I’d go early (I think only 2 people thought I’d make it past my due date) my due date came and went. I had my final appointment at the hospital on the Friday and my induction date was booked for the following Wednesday night. The Obs did an internal exam and did a stretch and sweep while she was down there. She told me that I was already 2cm dilated so hopefully the stretch and sweep would kick things along. It did help but I didn’t go into labour. I had some super mild contractions, I was losing plug and possibly had a bloody show (not sure if it was actually a bloody show or the blood was just from the stretch and sweep) but not much else happened and we got to my induction day.
The labour and birth
Going in to have the gels put in was pretty nerve wracking. I was trying to stay calm but for some reason, knowing it was happening made me even more nervous than the thought of having no idea when labour would begin. We packed everything in the car just in case, but I was pretty sure they’d send me home after inserting the gels. When we got there, we met our midwife Deb who told us if the gels were put in we wouldn’t be going home. That made my nerves go even more crazy just because I hadn’t prepared myself mentally for staying in the hospital overnight. Deb did an internal to see if she could insert the gels and she found that my cervix was 2-3cm dilated, about 1cm thick and quite soft. Due to my Bishops score being 7, Deb told us she wouldn’t be inserting the gels as it could overstimulate the uterus so she was sending us home and we’d come back in the morning for AROM. DF and I had a terrible night sleep, both of us were quite anxious and excited for the following day.
We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am. I was pretty nervous about being induced but I just wanted to get things going. Deb was on duty that morning so she would be my midwife for the morning. She was really nice and I liked that I’d already met her. Deb went off to start getting things sorted but then came back and told us we’d have to wait. A woman had just come in having contractions and a spontaneous labour takes priority over inducing. I sent DF off to get some breakfast since he hadn’t eaten yet and figured we might be awhile. He was a total gem and brought me back some breakfast too. We got my iPod and speakers out and had music playing while we waited which helped to pass the time a little.
Deb came back about 10am and told us the other woman was still in the very early stages so she had been sent home and we could finally get this show going. She told us that the doctor had said once the membranes were ruptured, they were going to get me started straight away on syntocin. I was pretty unhappy about that and wanted to give my body a chance to do its thing before starting syntocin. Deb was totally on board with that but wasn’t sure what the doctor would want. When she left the room DF and I spoke about it and he totally supported me outright saying no to the drip. I texted my student midwife Caila who was at uni to give her an update and she reassured me I didn’t have to have the drip if I didn’t want to. Needless to say when Deb came back to check my blood pressure it was quite high. At this point I realised I hadn’t spoken with Deb about my birth preferences so asked her if we could go through them. She suggested she rupture my membranes first and then go through them, that way we could buy ourselves a little time to get labour going if the doctor was going to be difficult. Deb got everything out and ready to do the AROM and when she opened up the hook, I actually thought ‘Dammit, I forgot to bring my crocheting!’ :lol: Deb checked my cervix and told us I was 3cm but could stretch to 4cm so it was good to hear I’d progressed a little from the night before. Rupturing the membranes was proving to be difficult due the membranes being tough and Deb not wanting to scratch Shoopy’s head cause she was quite low. After a few (very uncomfortable) attempts, Deb said she was going to get the doctor to have a go and suggested that we mention not wanting syntocin straight away as the doctor was more likely to be receptive if we mentioned it, rather than her. The doctor came in and got straight to it. All I can say is thank god I had the music to focus on cause she was not at all gentle despite her assurances that I could relax cause she wasn’t going to hurt me! Finally she ruptured my membranes though not much fluid came out as Shoopy moved straight down and blocked the hole. Before the doctor could even mention syntocin, DF told her we wanted to discuss its use and that we’d like time to allow labour to establish naturally before we even think about syntocin. The doctor said that was fine and we’d discuss syntocin later. I was so glad DF was there and was advocating for me. It was an argument I really didn’t want to have so it was comforting knowing that if it was going to be an argument, he was there to do that for me so I could just focus on labouring.
Contractions started pretty much straight away which really made me happy. Deb spoke with the doctor after the membranes were ruptured and told me that if things hadn’t progressed within 4 hours, the doctor wanted syntocin hooked up but the fact that I was already getting contractions was a great sign. She said that the doctor’s condition of waiting was that I was off the bed and moving around. That was totally fine by me because I couldn’t stand the thought of staying still and was already pacing the room. We went through my birth plan and Deb was happy with everything in there. She completely supported me wanting to minimise interventions as much as possible and was quite happy for me to let her know if and when she wanted any drugs. I told her I was concerned about having an episiotomy and while I was happy for pretty much anything that was required for the safety of me and the baby, I wanted to avoid things like an episiotomy where possible and if it was required I wanted the opportunity to agree to it myself rather than having it forced on me so it was still my decision. Deb assured me that should an episiotomy be required they would let me know in the first instance and only do it with my permission. Knowing that my midwife supported my preferences for the labour and birth and much preferred herself to let a woman labour how she wishes and to only jump in when needed was another big comfort to me. One of the things mentioned in my birth plan was if AROM was required, I would like to go home to labour there. Deb had never had that request but said she personally couldn’t see an issue with it so she would ask and see what we could do. A little while later she came back in and asked if I’d considered being in the MGP as after a AROM they send women home until they are in established labour but as I was in the birthing suite things were much more medical so I would have to stay. I told Deb I had wanted to be in the MGP but due to my high BMI my pregnancy and birth was ‘high risk’ I had to be under obstetric care. Deb agreed with me that this was ridiculous as my pregnancy had been incredibly low risk and that comment was made by each doctor I saw at every single appointment. While it would have been nice to labour at home for a while, I was happy enough at the hospital so didn’t have any problems staying.
The contractions were a little all over the place to start with, coming every 4-10 min for around 30-40 sec each, but just after 11am they were coming a bit more regularly and were lasting around a minute. By this point I found I was having to focus inward during each contraction and couldn’t talk to anyone but I needed DF to be near me so I could hold his hand or just be touching him in some way. In between though DF and I were still talking and joking around. Deb kept popping in every now and again to check the baby’s heartbeat and she was quite happy with how the contractions were ramping up. When she came in at 12:50pm she told us I was officially in established labour as contractions were coming about every 2 minutes and lasting for around 90 seconds. All 3 of us were so happy about this as syntocin would not be getting pushed on me now! The contractions started getting more intense but I continued to focus inward and concentrate on my breathing and the music that was playing. DF was being so amazing and kept telling me what a great job I was doing though he did make the joke “Well they call it labour but…”. He’s a very brave man doing that to a labouring woman :p I ended up on the bed on all fours and asked DF to give me a massage and he started cracking jokes about how he liked seeing me in that position :lol: I really liked that in between contractions he was making me laugh cause it was helping to keep me focussed and calm.
At 1:30pm Deb asked if she could do another internal to see how I was progressing. I was really happy to hear that I was now at 5cm. Deb told me how impressed she was that I was already at 5cm and had done it without any pain relief as in her experience most women were asking for something by 2cm. For someone who considers themselves a big sook with a low pain threshold I was pretty happy about this. Kinda surprised though as while the contractions were painful, they were manageable. I decided at that point to get in the shower for a bit and thought once I was out I would let Caila know how I was going and that I would also text my friend Kelli who was going to photograph the birth and let her know to head up when she was ready as things were progressing quite well. DF was again wonderful and had the water on my back in between contractions and during the contractions he had the water hitting my belly. Deb came in a few times with a Doppler to keep an eye on the baby’s heartbeat and seemed to always walk in just as a contraction started. The contractions really started getting serious while I was in the shower and I found it quite difficult to stand so I sat on the chair and rocked through each contraction. After a little while I began dozing off in between contractions so decided I’d get out of the shower and hop on the bed so at least I could rest a little easier. As I was getting dry, Deb let me know it was 2:30pm and her shift was over but she would be on again in the morning so asked if it was ok to come see me and the baby on the maternity ward the next day. I told her that would be great and thanked her for everything that morning. I told DF I needed to go to the toilet so asked him to leave the bathroom and assured him I was fine to get dressed myself. I was pretty happy about my bowels emptying as I was terrified of that happening while I was pushing the baby out! It took me awhile to actually go to the toilet then get dressed as the contractions were coming so close and they were getting very VERY intense. As I was trying to get dressed I actually had to throw myself on the floor and just rock on all fours. DF knocked on the door to check that I was ok, and I let him know that I was just taking a while because of the contractions. While I was in there DF went through my birth plan (though I didn’t actually know this until after the birth) with my new midwife Jenny and she introduced herself to me when I came out.
I went straight to the bed and got on all fours so I could rock through the contractions. Jenny asked if I wanted a bean bag so I could rest more between the contractions which was fantastic to begin with. The contractions kept ramping up though and I found the no matter what I did I couldn’t lessen the pain. Moving hurt, not moving hurt, anything touching me hurt. Poor DF was trying to be helpful and was rubbing my back during the contractions and it just got too much and was actually hurting more so I pushed his hand away and told him not to touch me. Then, just to confuse him, I started throwing my hand around during the contractions looking for his hand to hold and squeeze. I was finding it really difficult at this point and told DF that it really hurt and that I was feeling sick. Even though I had said I would ask for pain relief if I needed it, he could tell how much I was struggling and asked if I wanted to try the gas which sounded great. Jenny came in to set up the gas and explained that I needed to make sure I took nice deep breaths. For the next 2 contractions I tried using the gas but found that I was struggling to breathe using it and it was making me feel even more nauseous so decided to do away with the gas. I also found that I was moving and squirming so much during the contractions that I spent the whole time in between rearranging the beanbag rather than just resting so I decided to lay on my side.
DF let Jenny know that I was feeling nauseous using the gas so she asked if I wanted some Maxalon to help with the nausea. When she came back with the shot, DF asked me 2 or 3 times if I wanted it as he was worried that I was too out of it at that point to really know what anyone was saying to me. I told him I definitely wanted it and during the next contraction I felt Jenny wiping the area she was going to give me the shot and then wipe again. I never actually felt the injection which at the time I found weird, but I guess with the pain of the contractions it makes sense. The pain in my back during the contractions was getting really bad so I asked for a heat pack. Once again I confused poor DF as if he was just holding it against my back it wasn’t doing enough, but I found him pushing the heat pack against my back too intense. After a few more contractions I decided I needed a heat pack for the front too so asked for another one. DF buzzed for a midwife and let them know (it wasn’t Jenny that came in) I needed another one. While they were getting me a heat pack I told DF it was too hard and I didn’t think I could do it. Apparently I said it a couple of time previously, but this time he could hear in my voice how serious things were getting. I had told him the previous night about how for some strange reason, when going through transition, women will freak out and think they can’t do it anymore which he remembered. He knew things were getting close so he told me how well I was doing, to keep breathing and that I was almost there.
All of a sudden I thought my body was starting to push which got me very concerned. It was only a slight feeling at that point but I told Ryan to get the midwife in there. That was when she came in with the other heat pack and Ryan let her know I thought I needed to push and she said she’d get Jenny in there. As she left the room another contraction hit and there was no mistaking it, I was pushing and I had no control over it. I really started freaking out at that point cause I thought there was no way I was ready yet. Not that long before I was only 5cm so there was no way I was ready to be pushing, something had to be wrong. I told DF I couldn’t stop pushing and I needed the midwife. He hit the buzzer and the other midwife came in. DF told her I was pushing and I couldn’t control it, when Jenny walked in. Jenny told me I needed to take my pants off, so I got DF to help me. Jenny told DF that she was going to get the table prepped (in case something went wrong and the baby needed to be resuscitated) cause it wouldn’t be long. All the while I was still worrying, thinking there’s no way I’m ready.
Once the table was prepped and my pants were off, Jenny got DF to lift my leg and hold it in the air. As the next contraction hit and I started pushing Jenny told me she could see the baby’s head and that she had a whole lot of hair and pointed it out to DF. Jenny told me to make sure I concentrated on my breathing and told me it was important to listen to her. When she told me to pant, it was important that I pant to slow it down as we didn’t want the baby coming out too quickly. I let her know that I was happy for her to be hands on and if she needed to push back and stop the baby coming out I was happy for her to do so. The contractions kept coming and I had no control over my body. I was pushing and was pretty sure I couldn’t stop if I tried. As contractions hit I kept reaching above me and grabbing hold of the bean bag which was making my back arch. Jenny told me to grab my leg instead so I would curl more into a ball to help the baby move down. With each contraction I kept forgetting to do that but DF reminded me each time to grab my leg.
With each contraction and each push I felt the burn more and more and found myself visualising everything opening up and the baby coming through. Jenny told me I was doing a good job with my breathing and DF later told me that he was surprised how well I was responding to any instructions regarding my breathing because I didn’t seem to be focussing or concentrating on anything else that was being said. As the next contraction hit, jenny told me to pant which I managed for the most part. At the beginning and the end I couldn’t stop pushing, but managed to pant my way through most of the contraction. Then I felt the head pop out. I figured I still had awhile to go as I hadn’t been pushing long so thought I must be wrong when Jenny said “That’s the head out”. As the next contraction started, I began pushing and Jenny pulled the body out and I felt my baby slide out of me. I realised I’d had my eyes closed and my face buried in the bean bag the entire time so I opened my eyes and saw my baby being brought up to my chest crying her little eyes out. When she was on my chest Jenny asked what we had. We knew we were having a girl but as she was being placed on my chest, I got a good view and it was confirmed. It’s kinda awesome that I was the first one to see our baby was a girl, even though we already knew it from the scans. I didn’t pay attention to what song was playing at the time, but had wished I had. Luckily though DF was paying attention and later told me that (much to his disgust :p) the song playing when she was born was Beautiful by Christina Aguilera.
Jenny clamped the cord and showed DF where to cut it. The whole time I just couldn’t take my eyes off my little girl. Once the cord was cut, I got DF to undo my bra and help me take it and my top off so we could have some proper skin to skin. At that moment I realised Caila and my friend had missed the birth. I was disappointed neither of them were there, especially my friend as she would have captured those first few moments but right then I just didn’t care. My baby was in my arms and DF was next to me and everything seemed perfect. All I could do was stare at my baby girl and just couldn’t believe how alert she was. I had decided I wanted to have a physiological third stage so Jenny told me as I felt any contractions to push and she helped get Shoopy on the breast so she could have a feed and help get my uterus contracting. I didn’t feel any painful contractions, just the occasional tightening so I gave a bit of a push each time. After a couple of pushes it felt like something was moving so gave one big push and out the placenta came! Jenny asked if I wanted to see it and even though I thought I’d never be interested in seeing the placenta, I was super keen. She explained what all the bits were, where the placenta was attached to my uterus, what was the membranes and showed me where they had ruptured them. It was actually really interesting.
Not long after Caila walked through the door. She had only missed the birth by half an hour! She told me that around the time I was giving birth, she got this feeling that something was happening. It’s probably just coincidence, but it’s still kinda cool. I had some slight internal tearing and external grazing which needed stitching so Jenny told me to have another go on the gas while she gave me the local and stitched me up. 4 stitches in total, 1 internal and 3 external. As stupid as it sounds I was more anxious about that than I was pushing a baby out! The gas was my new best friend and I was pretty off my face while getting stitched up. It’s a very good thing cause I was getting very anxious about the stitches as it was. Once I was all stitched up Caila weighed Shoopy and DF had his first cuddle. She looked so tiny in his arms.
Jenny told me a number of times how well I did and that I’d be the perfect candidate for a home birth (she used to just do home births in the UK) which I thought was the most amazing thing to hear from my midwife! Everyone keeps telling me I’m a total natural and a baby making machine and the doctor that saw me before I was discharged told me seeing how my labour and birth went totally made her day :) Initially I was disappointed with having to be induced but now I’m so glad that I was. With how fast everything went I’m so glad that I could just focus where I needed and not have to worry about when we should head to the hospital which was 40 min away. Call me crazy but for the most part I would actually go as far as saying I enjoyed my labour. It was the most amazing experience and I still can’t believe that I did it all by myself which is something I never thought would happen. I honestly don’t think my labour and birth could have gone any better. The midwives I had were great and really made me feel comfortable, DF was the most amazing birthing partner I could have asked for and my body and baby did wonderfully.
Arya Sylvia Maree
Born at 3:43pm on 13th September 2012
Weight: 3230g (7p 2oz)
Length: 49cm
Head circumference: 34cm
AROM: 10:30am
Stage 1 duration: 3hours 3min
Stage2 duration: 10min
Stage3 duration: 19min
AGPAR at 1min and 5min: 9
