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What is the difference of loving someone and being IN love with someone?
Is there any difference?
I am going through some challenging times, they will not end in disaster, this question in particular is something I am having trouble understanding or getting my head around.
I have just ordered The 5 love languages and The 5 love languages of Children, I am hoping it will give me some clarification.
I am interested in other people's perspectives and opinions.
You can love someone and care about them but not be in love with them anymore, I have found out from past experiences.
I think when you are in love with someone your feelings are a lot stronger, you dont want to be without them in your direct everyday life and world, you react to things they do and say in a different way.
I found when I stopped bring in love with someone but still loved them as a person that the things I could normally deal with grated on me.
It's a hard one to explain but that is how I personally feel...that yes they are different.
I love my children, my parents, my siblings, my grandmother, my dog....
I'm in love with my husband....
Is this too simple? I think of loving someone (such as my children, parents etc.,) as holding them within the circle of my arms, protecting and cherishing them. When I think of the love I have for my husband I am within that circle also both of us surrounded by the love.
In my head the difference is that loving someone is a true love, unconditional, forever, whereas being "in love" is more transient like an infatuation or lust that comes at the start of a new relationship that can turn into a deeper true love in time or fade away to a friendship or even nothing. I think that is why some of the best marriages are between people who were friends before lovers. When someone says the phrase "in love" I think of the honeymoon period of a relationship, rom-com style love.
"In love" is a crush, is hormonally charged, is slightly obsessive. It's about not having your eyes open. It's "blind love" or (IMO) slight stupidity.
Love is more than that. It is accepting the other person WITH their faults, not being blind to them. It's a decision you can control, you can decide to love someone. It takes work and isn't always easy.
Love languages isn't about in love vs loving. It's how we feel loved and appreciated - some people like hugs, others like compliments, others like time spent together etc. So I feel loved when DH says he likes my outfit, DH feels loved when I watch a fishing programme with him. Liebling prefers hugs.