Recommend me some books to help with this fear.

I am going to give birth to our third child in a little over 20 weeks (eek). My second birth didn't go to plan. The short version is that we got to 7cm quickly then we think he turned the wrong way, I stopped dilating, my waters were broken to get things going, he freaked out and his heart rate plummeted. I was rushed out of birth centre where he was deliver OP using a ventouse. I lost a lot of blood and required a blood transfusion.

When I got pregnant with this babe I thought I had processed the events linked with ds 2 birth but it seems I haven't and I am quite fearful of the whole process. I am very lucky that my midwife from ds2 birth is available to me and we are processing what happened together but due to his birth my birth choices are severely diminished and my safe place (the birth centre) is no longer available to me.

The last thing I want is to go into labour with fear so I was wondering whether people had any recommendations on books I can read to help me process what happened and help me towards a better birth this time. I want this last birth to go the way I want and fear won't help me attain that. Thank you for any suggestions

Ina May Gaskin is wonderful.

ANother vote for Ina May Gaskin.

Also Henci Goer is good if you want to explore the benefits and risks of different interventions from a research point of view.

My DD was born OP with vac assistance. My 2nd was a much bigger baby, but i was able to move freely and he got in an easier position and was born without assistance into my arms.

Best wishes for your birth. xx

agreed anything by Ina May

Also an Ina May suggestion here. You can get her books from the library too ITH. I have found that sometimes you need to put in a request so that you can get it before it flies off the shelf though lol.

I also recommend discussing about the birth with someone in the know. It was pretty scary that they broke your waters with an OP baby :o generally OP presentation has a really long (sometimes up to and beyond 2 hours) of latent labour somewhere between the 6-8cm mark (ie contractions dwindle to almost naught) so that bubs can slowly slowly turn and find position in the pelvis all on their own...but obviously they need that bag of waters to be able to move ITMS. I think it would be really helpful to discuss what happened and process it all. I found doing a calmbirth course was really awesome as it is not just about coping with the birth coming up, but also about facing fear responses etc etc.

I wish you all the best and think you are totally on the right path to getting the birth you need and want xx facing a new birth after a traumatic one, does present new challenges but also new hope and the chance to take a new completely different and empowered road :hug:

Two more not mentioned yet:

Childbirth Without Fear

“In an age where birth has often been overtaken by obstetrics, Dr ****-Read’s philosophy is still as fresh as it was when he originally wrote this book. He unpicks every possible root cause of western woman’s fear and anxiety in pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding and does so with overwhelming heart and empathy. Essential reading for all mothers-to-be!”

Birthing From Within

My most recommended books for birth are here.

Agree with Cassius about the debrief too.

Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into them all.

Cassius, his presentation was actually a huge surprise. He turned somewhere between 5-7 cm and we only realized when I started pushing. In hindsight it shouldn't have happened when it did but when it happened we honestly thought he was in a good position. I have been debriefing with my birth centre midwife from his birth and that is definitely helping. I just don't want to go into this birth with a fear of things happening the same. A lot of what happened was a knee jerk reaction which snowballed and caused me a great deal of harm. I want a different birth experience this time even though I will be in less than ideal circumstances. I am also looking to do a hypnobirthing course in January which I think will be beneficial.

Ina May really helped us. It's really really really worth doing the calmbirth course- it helps with confidence and calm. We birthed at home in an unplanned spontaneous home birth and I credit how well it went to mainly to our calmbirth practice and Ina mays guide to childbirth.

I second Pam England's Birth Without Fear.

Sending peaceful, gentle birthing vibes your way :)

Pam is Birthing from Within hun :)

lol oh der it is too! I'm an idiot. So many birthy books have similar titles!

Well, I meant Birthing from Within by Pam England :lol: