Panic attack normal???

Hi guys, recently my DH and I have decided to TTC #5. All has been going along fine except last night I had a complete panic attack about it not going well at all. I have had 6 pregnancies. 3 progressed succesfully and ended with 4 children. I have had 3 MC but it is the last one before my twins that haunts me. I fell pregnant with twins only to lose them at 10weeks. I then fell pregnant with twins again and after my 2nd scan was called into my OB early and told that one of them had a large haemotoma around it and would most likely not survive. A scan was done and only 1 baby found. I went home absolutely devastated. Then 3 weeks later I had some spotting and was sent straight for a scan, where the sonographer went on to tell me they were BOTH fine. It turns out that I was still pregnant with twins. I don't what happened, but the emotions of it all we had decided even if the pregnancy ended we wouldn't go through the pain again. Well it's been 4 yrs since I had the twins and we are ready for another, well I thought so. Now I am in a complete panic about having a MC, I just don't know if I could manage, even though we really want another baby.
Is this normal to feel so excited about moving forward but also be so scared and panicky?

I'm not sure how my DH got through our TTC journey without having me committed. Depending on the day (sometimes the hour!) I would flip between being totally focused on having a baby, to being adamant that I just couldn't keep going and I'd had enough.

Good luck and I hope your TTC journey is a short and sweet one

So sorry for your losses :hug:
I'd say it's completely normal. Give yourself permission that's it's ok to feel this way.amd allow yourself to take it one day at a time and only cross that bridge of it comes to it. Easier said then done I know! Hope you at able to work through these feelings so you are more relaxed. It is said that in life we are only given what we can manage so take that as whatever life throws at you you will be able to cope/manage even though it may seem impossible at the time. Hopefully you won't have to worry about anything bad though.

I can absolutely understand where you are coming from. I think I would love to go for number four, but the weight of the possibility of another loss weighs heavily. Sounds normal to me to be feeling that way. All the best for your TTC journey, I hope you are blessed with a beautiful baby!

The fear; it never goes away unfortunately. You just have to decide to push forward with TTC and take what comes. Ive had 4 m/c since we started TTC #4 and each time I didnt think I could keep going but my desire for another baby always won out. I was terrified each time, and esp this time even when things seem to be going ok because I think that just made me more anxious. 17 weeks in and I still have panic attacks about losing the baby. Im excited to though. Talking with people who understand definitely helps me.

I wish you all the best with TTC and I really hope everything goes smoothly :hug:

Thank you soooooo much guys, you have definitely made me fell more at ease about it all. It is amazing how sharing how you feel and then knowing other people feel the same way can help give you the strength to get through those hard times. I am not alone, thanks again :)