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Can children with ADHD behave totally differently at home to in public?
A child I know has been diagnosed with ADHD and to me, he is the quietest, kindess, little mouse I've ever seen, yet the paed has prescribed Ritalin because he is cruel, aggressive and out of control at home.
I had the preconceived idea that ADHD wouldn't be selective, but would also be obvious at the shops, school, park, etc.
Any experiences?
Have you only known him since he's been medicated? Maybe he's like that because of the medication. *I* would think ADHD behaviors would be fairly consistent in any situation though.
Oh no, he's only just been medicated and I've know him since 2, he's nearly 4 now.
My DS1 apparently has ADHD (his teachers think so and testing points that way), but all friends and family that know him well can't believe it! He's perfectly normal most of the time, but I'm told his behaviour is a bit silly in the classroom. I think having so much noise and distractions going on triggers his ADHD behaviour. So I guess environmental things play a part?
In this case it seems to be the reverse - he goes to kindy and no one sees any of the behaviours there, yet his parents report that he hurts his siblings, pets, is aggressive, etc at home.
Not ADHD, but my DS is an absolute angel at kindy and generally when we are out and about yet as soon as he gets home to a safe place he has meltdowns over pretty much anything. His kindy teachers were shocked when I told them of the scale of meltdowns and the hours he spends screaming at home considering he is so lovely there.
Does the boy strike you are particularly smart? It seems to be a reasonably common thing among gifted kids to save up the pent up overstimulation/anxiety until they are in a comfortable situation like at home and then all the tantrums and misbehaviour pours out.
Can't really comment on the smart side as he is so shy that he doesn't really talk much or interact much - perhaps it's the shyness that means he just has to get it out all when he goes home!
Another thing to consider is home is where kids tend to feel the most comfortable and really let all the bad behaviour hang out :lol: DS is at his worst at home usually because this is his safe place to fall apart when he needs to.
I would also think ADHD would be across different settings... the behaviours you have said the parents see, "seem" more oppositional than attention deficit.... maybe it's ODD they are saying he has...? ODD can be seen at home more than at school in some children...
He is also only 4, so..... it's all a bit question mark ish anyway....
In my experience sometimes paediatrician's over prescribe medication and incorrectly diagnose disorders based on limited information - usually just a conversation with the parents.... however I guess we are never actually IN someone else's situation, and anything is possible....
there's nothing much you can do, as telling them you disagree with the diagnosis is probably only going to put them offside... and you will be more helpful if you are involved - as it's so important to for parents to develop as calm and clear parenting strategies as they can to support children with any behavioural difficulties.
It is frustrating to watch a child get diagnosed when it seems all wrong... hopefully it will help the parents put in place the strategies needed to support him - as for some people the 'label' is really helpful (even if it's not totally correct, it's a start I guess.... !)
Yes it's completely possible! My little bro who is 13 years my junior has ADHD and was a menace outside the house and not in it. So the reverse of your friend. He is also highly intelligent however slightly socially retarded. His condition reversed when he hit puberty and is now an angel inside and a menace outside the home. He was only ever medicated to attend school and maintain focus there as his appetite was depressed on the Ritalin. I honestly don't think there are any hard and fast rules to the condition and knowing what my mum went through to medicate him l would just try and be supportive of your friends choice. It's a tough diagnosis to hear and even though my
Mum is a special needs teacher and deals with kids with ADHD and other behavioural and physical ailments everyday she was in denial for so long that there was a problem. Like any family you never know what happens behind closed doors.
As they get older, the condition can become worse and affect more than just home life. People used to love looking after DS1 as he was such an angel but now people thing 5 times before agreeing to watch him as he destroys everything without a thought for anyone else... yet at other times he is the most thoughtful, smart and caring boy. I used to agree with you and say that it wasn't a real problem, just making mountains out of mole hills but I wish I had of had him checked out years ago. We (counselor, doc, teachers, friends, etc) now believe he may have both ADHD and Aspergers. I even have to sit in on the counseling sessions so that he can keep better focus and use his listening ears. He will destroy her room or run away otherwise.
Edit..
At his doctors appointment to get the referral to the pead, my son proceeded to eat the chair and then go off on a tangent about dinosaurs as he jumped and ran around the room and over the chairs.
Part of the diagnosis criteria for ADHD *is* that it happens in more then 1 setting.
Just because its close to home for me & my kids. I would suggest your friends has a read of a blog called My Aspergers Child & looks up the entry on the cross over between ADHD & Aspergers.
My ten yr old has ADHD behaviours at school but not home. I refuse to medicate him based on that alone. I strongly believe he is not ADHD.
Mind you, your friend will soon find out if medicating him for ADHD is working as Ritalin in a stimulate. It works by stimulating the area's of the brain that are understimulated (impulse control namely) but if these area's of the brain are functioning at normal levels & you add a stimulate... well you get a hyped up kid I guess.
Not sure if that part was aimed at me but I'm going to go look that up anyways. I've been doing a lot of reading up on these recently. It is highly doubtful my son will not be diagnosed as even my friend's Mother who works on a daily basis with special needs children picked him straight away and has been able to give me advice on what to do and what not to do which was reassuring for me as most of what would need to happen is already in place. Our only reason for looking at getting an official diagnosis is to get an aide for him for mainstream school next year
My eldest son has ADHD and was horrible at school, fine at home and an absolute angel for anyone else. My parents critisised the use of medication for him as he was always "so perfect for them."
We had our issues at home but it was my normal and I knew nothing else so figured it was just a normal boy thing to do.
Sorry, no I didn't even read all the replies before my previous post :) I had to go back & read what you wrote to see what you meant.:
If you believe your son has Aspergers or ADHD (or both, which is possible) then defiantly look further into it. I WISH someone had pushed me before school started because it all went to **** when it did.
Hop on the ADHD website (simply google ADHD & the URL is simply ADHD with the usual blurb behind it) There is a fair bit of detail about how a Dx is achieved & also outlines how many other things can be a factor & produce ADHD behaviours & it NOT be ADHD that is causing it.