Help, at wits end...

My just turned 5 year old boy has been caught numerous times now either pulling girls dresses up, or pulling their pants down. I am at my wits end! The first time it happened we didn't make a big deal of it, just explained that it wasn't a good thing to do etc, the second time I again pulled him aside and explained why he shouldn't do it, but since then he has again encouraged a friend to take her knickers off, pulled down a 7 year old friends bathers and a pulled up my friends 10 year old daughters dress. Tonight I lost it at him, I had already spoken to him today about how it was not on and that next time I would be really angry. The best thing is he won't even take his shirt off unless we go in the bedroom and lock the door...he is that private. I don't know what else to do. I even threatened tonight that if he does it again I will pull his pants down and make him stand in front of the girls he had done it too. I know it sounds horrible and I don't like the thought of humiliating him, but what else can I do? I also told him tonight, that he is no longer allowed to play with the girls without mum or dad there. any advice please!!!!

He's being a normal curious boy... Maybe teaching him about the difference between males and females anatomy (there are some awesome child books around) and talking him through his feelings.

I dare say humiliating him will do far more harm then good.

I understand your frustration I really do, my step son did this - but as with everything this too shall pass with the right lesson ;-)

Thanks for replying, he does know about the differences, he has an older sister, they still bath together but he has never done this to her only other girls, I have also explained the reason why doing what he is doing is not right, we have discussed why he doesn't like it etc I know it's normal sexual development for any child and I am not that worried, but I now have other parents ringing me up to tell me he has got their child to take their knickers off. I just worry that people aren't going to want him around their children...

Ok, so the specific issue here isn't nakedness, it's the right of people to be in charge of their own bodies. I think you need to explain how other people might feel if their clothes are taken away/and their personal space is invaded, and relate it to his own sense of privacy and body space and control of his body and clothing. Make it part of a longer conversation (ie across lots of different situations and at different times) about respect and being kind to other people.