How early did you know something was up?

Hi guys - I thought there was a special needs section but couldn't find it so here goes... I am concerned about my 14mo second daughter. She seems to be typically developing but has started to have violent tantrums and gets obsessive about stuff (eg putting a lid off and on a drink bottle repeatedly).

Reading this it looks stupid but I feel like there is something not quite right with her but I can't place it. Maybe it is because I didn't experience this with my first child and I expected the same, I really don't know. I have done a lot of work with kids with disabilities as a carer in the past so maybe I am drawing on that also.

So has anyone had a funny feeling early on and been right about it? Alternatively am I being ridiculous and this is normal behaviour for a one year old?

Thanks :-)

I think mums are generally the first to know if something is off. It might be something, it might not be what you think it is, but it's probably worth further investigation.

I second what MadB said about mother's knowing if something isn't quite right. You're not being ridiculous, just concerned for your DD.
I'd say ask your maternal health nurse or GP (or both) about it and see what they say. I know that it's too early to diagnose for something on the Austism spectrum, as a few of the criteria relate to social and language skills etc. Still, if you're worried, I'd be asking for advice.

Mum's know - I was worried about my DSs physical development from about 3 months, at 5 months I took him to see a paed and after xrays and investigations we discovered he was low toned and had hip dysplasia. Now he has had physiotherapy and wore a hip brace for 6 months and is a perfectly healthy 3.5yo.

If your instincts are alerting you to something, get it checked out asap, as early intervention in mental/physical development issues is often crucial to sorting things out/ or getting ongoing support

I think it's best to trust your instincts, but I wanted to let you know that my 17 month old DD is also obsessed with putting on and taking off the lid on water bottles, so much so that we hide them from her because it's just so annoying. She does other things like obsessively bite the fur off her teddy or pull fur of the cat and eat it :/ We're not really worried at this stage, but if your instincts are telling you something is up then I'd go with that.

Trust your instincts! It might not be a disability, but could be a nervous habit or something like that. It's better to know. Anytime I've been worried I've checked with the child health nurse.

Definitely trust your gut. I knew something wasn't quite right with my little girl very early on (I can't remember specifically but it was probably around the 6 month mark), and was repeatedly told by anyone and everyone that she was fine. It wasn't until I finally broke down in my own GP's office when she was almost 2 that somebody took me seriously and genuinely listened to my concerns. Its great that we finally got her the help she needed, but it makes me very sad that it could have come earlier if I had just dug my heels in even more than I already was - even my DH didn't think there was an issue for ages.

If you think something's not qutie right, then get it investigated and if you're still not happy with the results, get another opinion until you are satisfied. The worst that's going to happen is you're going to happen is that you will end up with a "normal" child.

Thanks guys, I appreciate all of the responses. I'm thinking I will just sit on things for the moment, but yes I agree with the trust your gut advice also. xx

The important thing to remember with all things, is early intervention is the key. It may seem silly or not worth chasing up just yet but don't sit on it for too long if it continues to nag at you :) .

I still stand by the fact that I knew there was something not right with ds2 when I was pregnant with him. An after he was born my suspicion just grew and grew. I spoke I my MCHN at 18m and he was referred. He is on the autism spectrum and presents like he has aspergers. He started early intervention at 2 years old (speech and ot and later psych) am most people would not see it now unless I tell them the things to look for- he is verbally repetitive in his routines etc. I am so happy I followed my gut as I am sure he would not be as great as he is now without it.

My three Sons: So good to hear someone else say they knew when pregnant. My story's a bit different as it was a physical defect rather than an intellectual one but I knew during my pregnancy with DS that he wasn't right. So much so that I had started to prepare for having a stillbirth or losing him early on. When he was diagnosed with a heart defect I don't think I was super surprised. Devastated but not surprised.

My friend felt something wasn't right when she was pregnant and her bub was born with a brain issue.

Tantrums and the bottle lid thing don't sound like anything to worry about to me, but I am sure there is a variety of other things that are making you wonder. I would just keep an eye on it and mention it to someone as needed.

BTW, my 14 month old is having some massive tantrums lately.

I wouldn't worry about the tantrums or bottle thing either. My dd is obsessed with lids. I like it- keeps her busy and quiet. Lol

Double post

Hi Pip.

From about 4-5 months I had a feeling that something wasn't right with DD. She did not like being held - I could tell by the tension in her body whenever I or anyone else would hold her tight, she would stiffen up and I had agonising problems keeping her at the breast. She would cry and cry and had terrible trouble sleeping and whenever I would try and co-sleep she seemed to hate it. My anxieties grew and more things seemed not right - as she got older, she would not make eye contact very much and would not look back at me when she seen something that she liked (a dog at the beach, something in a book). Everyone kept telling me not to be so worried and she was obviously fine, that their children "did that too". Even my health nurse went through a seires of questions about development to ease my mind and said "she is above normal".

One day when she was about 12 months, she wanted to watch the window winder wind out and back in, out and in, over and over and I thought 'ok, that's it I'm calling someone'. I called AMAZE which is the autism help organisation of Victoria. That day I got some advice, which led to an assessment many months later, which led to her being diagnosed with Autism.

Yes it was very confronting and hard to digest BUT I have received help and early intervention and I can tell you that its astonishing the change in her in just eight months! You just wouldn't know now that she is on the spectrum, she fits right in with the other kids! She went from hardly talking to now I can't stop her haaa. She went from being introverted and not looking at kids or people or interacting to being very sociable and involved. She won the runner up award for tiny tumbler of the year at our local gymnasium :)

Look don't be afraid, most probably it's just a stage and all of us can have 'autistic or compulsive' behaviours as part of our personalities. Don't you know someone who has to have things 'just a certain way' or someone else who does things in a certain order and probably doesn't know why. What you want is ease of mind so go and look for a developmental paediatrician and get some tests done. No biggie! Don't tell anyone, just go do it. If not, you can just relax and you know what, if it is, the WORST outcome is that you get some support and help in this very early stage where it can make a huge difference!

Some people still don't believe that she is on the spectrum and you know what that's great as it means she is only very mildly affected AND what we are doing is really working. I say to people 'I don't care about the label, I'm getting some support which ANY child could benefit from so what's wrong with that :)"

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Hi Pip.

From about 4-5 months I had a feeling that something wasn't right with DD. She did not like being held - I could tell by the tension in her body whenever I or anyone else would hold her tight, she would stiffen up and I had agonising problems keeping her at the breast. She would cry and cry and had terrible trouble sleeping and whenever I would try and co-sleep she seemed to hate it. My anxieties grew and more things seemed not right - as she got older, she would not make eye contact very much and would not look back at me when she seen something that she liked (a dog at the beach, something in a book). Everyone kept telling me not to be so worried and she was obviously fine, that their children "did that too". Even my health nurse went through a seires of questions about development to ease my mind and said "she is above normal".

One day when she was about 12 months, she wanted to watch the window winder wind out and back in, out and in, over and over and I thought 'ok, that's it I'm calling someone'. I called AMAZE which is the autism help organisation of Victoria. That day I got some advice, which led to an assessment many months later, which led to her being diagnosed with Autism.

Yes it was very confronting and hard to digest BUT I have received help and early intervention and I can tell you that its astonishing the change in her in just eight months! You just wouldn't know now that she is on the spectrum, she fits right in with the other kids! She went from hardly talking to now I can't stop her haaa. She went from being introverted and not looking at kids or people or interacting to being very sociable and involved. She won the runner up award for tiny tumbler of the year at our local gymnasium :)

Look don't be afraid, most probably it's just a stage and all of us can have 'autistic or compulsive' behaviours as part of our personalities. Don't you know someone who has to have things 'just a certain way' or someone else who does things in a certain order and probably doesn't know why. What you want is ease of mind so go and look for a developmental paediatrician and get some tests done. No biggie! Don't tell anyone, just go do it. If not, you can just relax and you know what, if it is, the WORST outcome is that you get some support and help in this very early stage where it can make a huge difference!

Some people still don't believe that she is on the spectrum and you know what that's great as it means she is only very mildly affected AND what we are doing is really working. I say to people 'I don't care about the label, I'm getting some support which ANY child could benefit from so what's wrong with that :)"

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Couldn't agree with this more. It never hurts to seek out a professionals opinion. In fact my son's paed told me that he wouldn't be diagnosed with autism as he was 'too social' but sure enough when the reports came in he was. I can not be more thankful that people listened to me when I sought help with him at such a young age. I had so many people tell me their stories of how their child did similar things and it was a stage etc. Look, I am by no means saying that that isn't the case with your child... it most likely is just a normal stage of development. I am just saying that if it is worrying you at all, that it never hurts to ask a professional for their advice/opinion.