Traumatic post-birth

I had a very very hard time after ds, labour was fine 5hrs after induction for not going into labour after spontaneous rupture of membranes on my due date, baby came out in 3 pushes, husband was great and supportive the whole time.

-I had bad tearing which took 2 months to heal and almost 1 month of pain killers
-I got an infection and went back in to hospital via ambulance on day 4(4hrs after being discharged)
-severe PND for 10 months
-unable to BF

What's the odds of having a normal, no tearing, able to bf, happy post birth?
Or am I more likely to tear again ?

firstly *hugs*. because you have torn before you could tear again. but there are things you can do to decrease the chance. (also things like bub's position and presenting part can play a roll, but you can't really control these). but different birthing positions can decrease tearing, eg. lying on your left side is said to. getting your midwife to use hot pads on your peri when pushing. also when bub is crowning, to take it slow, and let it stretch slowly (can be hard at the time ;) )

sorry this is a quick post, I will come back but got to tend to little Spock =)

I was unable to get off my back during labour my body wouldn't let me, ds was posterior, my body didn't seem to be able to slowly push out a baby lol hopefully next time I won't be induced and can move around

That sounds a bit rough, you poor love. Have you had a chance to debrief properly with someone experienced?

It would be great if you can avoid an induction next time, also there are things you can do to help avoid and prevent posterior positioning - a great website for all things positioning is spinning babies. I would also look into independent birth classes (so much better, covers more especially about coping with pain and the best way to labour to avoid pain) and hiring a doula or independent midwife. They will be a great emotional and physical support. Joining the ABA will be a great help for breastfeeding, also getting onto an IBCLC at first sniff of a problem with feeding. They can turn things around so quick for you sometimes.

Directed pushing can sometimes lead to more tears, its best you follow your body's urges. Sounds like bub came out very quick so this may have contributed to it. A doula or independent midwife will be able to help you with advice for that too.

Have seen plenty of births, traumatic or surgical, turn around to be amazing, healing births. Don't get caught up in the what can go wrong, do your best to inform and empower yourself this time, get the help you deserve and look forward to whats possible xx

Yeah I tried spinning babies with ds but anterior placenta seemed to prevent him from going round (this baby has anterior placenta), I pushed after feeling an intense urge to push for what seemed like ages but midwife said not to push so I managed not to Exept for the last 3, pain wasn't an issue tens machine worked a charm although I'd like to avoid peth, I can't afford a doula but ill have a midwife and mayby an ob that comes with hosp .

Hey jellybean, My DD1 was a difficult delivery - she was a failed ventouse with extensive episiotomy (distress during delivery, deccels which didn't pick up), followed by a forceps delivery. I had a huge PPH requiring transfusion of packed cells and was unconscious for about an hour after DD's delivery. My episiotomy didn't heal very well, with an area of granulation tissue which required attention when DD was about 4 weeks old. I also had a uterine infection, but we did get onto that fairly quickly and it didn't cause too many problems.

DS was born two years later and his delivery was completely different. He was out in a few pushes and I had only minor tearing which healed quickly and with very little discomfort.

DD2 pretty much fell out after a couple of pushes and again I had only minor tearing and no issues healing.

My point is, just because you had a difficult time recovering from your first delivery, your second and subsequent deliveries won't necessarily be the same. Good luck, I hope you have a beautiful birth and an easy recovery!

ETA - after not being able to BF my first two due to supply issues (I have had breast reduction surgery), I am still feeding Miss P and she is over 2! It can be done, every experience is different!

Each birth is different Hun and your not guaranteed to tear the second time round.

DD1 was a footling breech vaginal birth, internal tearing with stitches.

DD2 vaginal birth, head first with slight grazing, no tears!

I didn't do anything differently but as others have me too Ed there are ways to prepare yourself & bub!

In regards to BFing again every child is different, all I can suggest is read up, may e get an ABA membership and work through what you need to try & make it work for you.
It's hard and it can take some perseverance but if its what you want and your confident within yourself I hope it all works well!

Nickel I'm glad it worked out so much better for you thanks makes me feel better

I know the next could be completely different but a part of me us scared I guess all I can do to an extent is wait and let the second birth do its thing I hope all goes well because we do want more kids

My experience with DS1's birth & post birth was decells, augmentation, threatened csect, DS1's heart actually stopping during pushing, then episiotomy and failed vacuum (and me birthing him myself while they were getting organised to reattach vacuum) with scarring issues that were not resolved until DS1 was 14mo (surgery to repair episiotomy site), supply issues until we stopped feeding at 8mo) and severe pnd.
This time around I had a waterbirth with no issues bar a small 2nd degree tear (1 stitch internal, 2 externally) at the edge of my scar and the only issues we've had bf are initial attachment & some mastitis.
I addressed my fear of tearing, intervention, pnd etc by researching the hell out of everything (and I mean everything) and doing hypnobirthing to try and let go of my fear of a repeat experience.

Most student doulas are free! Also student midwives - but check their experience and philosophy if you want to keep it as natural/intervention free as possible. There are student doulas in the BB directory: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/directory

ok im back =)
i think the first step you have to do to get a better birth experience is what you already have done. ask and research!
arm yourself with as much information as possible. with bf, join aba and hook in with them. depending where you live they have groups which have information topics plus you meet other mums inyour area (which might help with pnd). plus there is a free 24/7 help line (which you dont have to be a member to use).
a doula is a great idea because they will have all these tips and tricks up their sleeve to help you and will be able to faciliitate and remind you when you are in labor and might not be able to express yourself as you want to. plus give you support and continuity. =)

I second the hypnobirthing. Anything that's going to help you during your next birth to relax your muscles and breathe etc. Not sure if anybody has mentioned trying an Epino? You use it 3 weeks before your due date and it's like a balloon thing which you slowly and gradually increase in size to help stretch the peri (up to 10 mins/day). Great when you're expecting your first child, but a bit more difficult to get 10 mins to yourself when you're already looking after other kids! I think they're about $80 or $90 (?) not sure as i bought one several years ago.

I also saw a chiro from 30 weeks onwards and she was great at loosening up the ligaments between the pelvis and utuerus and got bubs into a really good position. Out of all my three pregnancies, my third was the only one where bub was head down and fully engaged by 40 weeks. The previous two (my sons) sat up high and I had to be induced with DS1 and ended up with a C.s DS2 didn't drop and I couldn't be induced again. 42 weeks and with ruptured membranes, he still didn't come down far enough etc. So, I would highly recommend finding somebody who can help get bubs into a fantastic position.

Re: bf - my first son was terrible at feeding, DS2 was much better and DD this year has also been a good feeder. I've found each baby has been different, so hopefully you'll have a better experience with feeding this time around. As the others have said, get lots of support happening, ABA etc, I also did acupuncture this time around and have had more milk than I did with the other two. Fingers crossed you have a much better time, birth and post birth with this next bub!

My vagina was cut the first time. The second time i had a much larger baby, and everything went well, with v little injury to me.

My labour was not induced/augmented 2nd time, i was able to move around to help baby to get in a good position, i gave birth in water (only just made it into the pool a few mins before baby arrived), but i think the biggest thing was that i didn't push. I basically breathed baby out, almost holding back from pushing the whole time and just let him come slowly. I had also been doing some massage of the perenium/scar tissue with almond oil for a few weeks prior.

Risk of infection can be reduced by limiting vaginal examinations.

Look into students, a good student can be awesome. ALternatively, do you have a supportive woman friend who could support you during the birth. If you want to try different positions, talk them through with your support people prior so they can remind you during labour.

take care

Contacted a private midwife who apparently is Medicare approved a little nervous about letting her into my concerns and my "birthing bubble" when it comes time to labour

When you meet up with her, you should get a feel for whether or not she is the right person to support you and whether you want to invite her to the birth.

good luck.

Yeah , I chatted to the co-ordinator and she was so lovely and knew what I was after just from a short email so I'm feeling hopeful