Getting toddler into a bedtime routine

Hi ladies

I would like to start getting DS into a bedtime routine, aiming towards a set bedtime and him at least starting the night in his own bed.

Throw some gentle parenting tips at me!

For DD we have to keep things consistent (although times of bedtime can change occasionally if we have something on).

So she has tea (usually separate to us because she is tired before daddy gets home so needs an earlier tea which can be anywhere from 5pm. Then it's bath straight after. She gets dressed then we brush her teeth then 'boobie'. I or DH then take her to bed with her 4 'babies' dolls!! Then get her calm and lay her down before we leave if she cries we go back in and ask her what's wrong and does she want a drink etc then tell her its night time (even though it's still daylight) so we tell her the moon is out. Sometimes she will carry on like this for ages other times she sleeps most the night. Occasionally if she won't lie down to go to sleep and nothing seems to be wrong I tell her that she can go out and sleep with the dog if she wants or in her comfy bed (haha tired cranky mum much!) she usually chooses the bed. Although tonight she wanted to go with the dog so I started to take her outside lol and she realised I was serious. I do ask does she want me to stay while she sleeps but she prefers me to leave the room. Ok so none of that is probably helpful but it's what we do. And considering she slept in our bed pretty much up until DS was born she is doing exceptionally well.

Al suggestions are helpful :)

How old is your DD?

She will be two on 6th Jan

DS will be 3 in March, he's pretty much co-slept since birth.

We have a fairly strict routine for order. Semi strict routine for time. Having said that, we can be flexible if the circumstances warrant it. After dinner (5.30 - 6pm ish), we have a short play time. Then it's time for either shower or a bath (7 - 7.30pm ish). Sometimes they clean their teeth but we aren't as strict on that as we should be. Into pjs and time for book. We read two books (kids choice) either sitting on the floor or lying on DS's bed. Kiss and cuddle good night for all. DS lies down in his bed, DD & I have a BF in the rocking chair in the same room. DS usually will then ask for his water which I will no doubt have forgotten to bring in with us :wall:. I still rock DD to sleep at this point. :rolleyes: Sometimes DS is asleep before I've finished feeding DD. If not, once DD is settled in her cot (again in the same room), I lie down next to DS until he is asleep. I will usually leave after 10 minutes whether or not he is asleep and he stays there. Both kids are usually asleep by 8pm but with the summer weather, they have been up later some nights lately. Sometimes DH will do the book part and he normally falls asleep in DS's bed lol.

My tip is to be consistent and extremely patient. We got into the habit of letting DS go to sleep in our bed some nights while i was feeding DD but it soon turned into every night & he started coming in earlier & earlier after I'd moved him back. It's taken a few months but he is back to sleeping in his own bed. Everything sleepwise with my DS seems to take forever to sink in, so consistency really is the key. He gave up his dummy about the age your DS is and it took over a month to get him to sleep well again. It was worth the effort though as he had been waking at 4am looking for the dummy but once he got used to having it he finally skipped that wakeup. We had a month of 4am starts to the day though :( He still has the occassional treat of going to sleep in our bed but not every night. My next step will be to get them both to go to sleep in their own beds without me there but no rush. At this stage they are still so little & they need us. Since it won't be long before they never need me, I figure I can indulge them a little now ;)

We do dinner about 5.30, bath, jarmies, quiet play or cuddles on the couch, toilet and teeth, read a story or 3 and then we have a 'thing' we do every night where we talk about our day. We each say something that made us happy (I use my one to reflect on one thing that made me proud of DD or something that teaches gratitude for the things we have), something that made us sad, cross or scared (again, I tend to use my one to teach or assist with debriefing about a difficult bit of our day) and then something we hope for tomorrow. DD really thrives on the rhythm of our routine and even insists on certain things being said certain ways or done in particular orders. I think she gains a great deal of security from the process and most of the time it seems to naturally wind her own toward drifting off on her own (though these days, if she's had a nap through the day there's always at least half an hour of quiet singing to herself and her teddies first!).

We started off with her starting the night off in her bed and then first wake up she was in with us. Now though she comes in from 4.30am before that she is resettled. Unless she is sick though as I will let her sleep with us and feed her to. She was night weaned towards end of pregnancy as her night time feeding was out of control and it was very uncomfortable for me.
So maybe start with that (first wake up in bed with you) so its a more gentle transition??

We have kept this 'routine' for our DD since she was 10 months until now (5 yo).

Dinner (around 6 pm)
Bath/shower
Quiet playtime
Milk (when she was younger)
Brush teeth
Book
Bed
DH usually gives DD a cuddle in bed then leaves when she is either awake or asleep.

Thank you ladies, some great suggestions!

I think it's basically just a matter of picking some activities and a sequence of events that suits you and figuring out a time to start. And then stick with it for a while and see how you go - it takes a while to stick, but you may also need to alter it as you go.

Our bed time for our nearly two year old (and 4 and 5year olds), goes,
Dinner at about 5/5.30pm, bath around 6pm, brush teeth, read 3 books with big brother and sister on their beds (one each- he will usually not sit and listen to all of the stories, but he comes and goes, playing quietly with things while we read, he is getting better at sitting with us though.) Kisses and hugs with DS1 and DD and either DH or I depending who is putting him to bed. Quick drink of water, Lights out (he turns it off) get into bed and DH or I lay with him sing 3-4 songs and stay 'til he's asleep (usually about 20-30mins until he talks himself out and relaxes). He sleeps in his own bed, but in our room next to us, up until about 6 months ago, he co slept and breast fed to sleep, but was happy to move to his bed with it next to us and has been slowly dropping breastfeeds (we're down to 1 every two-ish days :( ). DS1 and DD get songs too, but then they go to sleep themselves.

We've been doing the same thing since about 6 months old (possibly before). Dinner 5-5:30. Usually a bit of a play whilst we clean up some of the dinner mess. Bath or shower (including brushing teeth) around 6pm (with Daddy when he gets home). Into pjs. Quiet activities, watch 'In the Night Garden' and have a drink of milk if wanted. Go to bed. DD used to always wait til 'In the Night Garden' was finished before we put her to bed, over the past few months she's actually taken herself to bed declaring she is tired sometime during the show.