Just a phase or something we are doing?

Hi

Have noticed a change in DS behaviour over the past two weeks and not sure it is a new phase :wall: that he is going through or something we are doing wrong that is causing the behaviour. So looking for advice and strategies for dealing with it please.

On a good note he has definitely taken a big development leap in the last month with his vocab and understanding of what we are saying, what he is saying, what is happening around him taking a massive step forward. I can see when you give him an answer to a question that he is thinking about what you have said before he either makes comment or asks his next question. He is also remembering what happened in the past and making correct associations with what is happening now.

All of this is great but in the past two weeks he is now challenging us on what we are saying if he doesn't like the answer. We get a lot of no no no Mummy or wellllllllllll Mummy its not x its y and then will scream and shout and stamp his feet until we agree with his opinion. I don't want to .... I don't like this now ...... I don't need to ............... are also frequently used phrases.

Not sure if this is just a phase that they go through or if its just been the whole Christmas break, being away from day care and in our company the whole time that has caused this change. He is definitely pushing my buttons when I can't get him to listen to reason so strategies on how to approach it also needed.


Any advice appreciated

Sounds pretty normal to me. To be honest it's not something that ever really goes away. He is asserting himself as a person separate to you with his own opinions and feelings. The trick is to teach him to make his opinions known without the tantrums, as well as being respectful of others' opinions.

Some things that have helped us with the tanties are explanations as to why something is not ok, avoiding saying no and don't all the time, redirecting, keeping her busy with different activities, making sure she's not hungry, tired, teething is a big cause of tanties in our dd. Picking your battles too, some things are best let go. I can't see how old your ds is as I'm on tapatalk but it will pass, try to look at it as developmental.

Yeah, Id say its a normal development thing too. DS will argue with just about everything I say to him. If I tell him the sky is blue he will tell me its not, its red. I often joke that I thought I was supposed to know everything until he was at least 4. ;)
If its something silly like him contradicting a basic statement Ill correct him once or twice then either tell him Im not arguing about it or just say ok. If its important- like something he needs to do, Ill firmly tell him how it is and Im sorry but he doesnt get a choice in this one. I can hear what he wants but its not an option this time.
That said, weve been lucky to avoid more than two or three real tantrums in his life. Im sure its mostly luck, but I find that naming his feelings and telling him I have heard him, tends to diffuse most of his frustrations.

Ah! He's learning to assert himself and find his place in the world. All good.
A little bit of screaming etc is ok at this age - he will learn different ways of expressing himself with time. You don't have to give in - just quietly stand your ground. Be reasonable and respectful, and he will learn to do the same with time.
Some kids do really well with options and can negotiate an acceptable alternative if you give them some guideliens - ie. i need x, you can't have/do y as it's dangerous, etc. They can use this info to come back with another solution that works for both of you.
Some kids need very clear boundaries - so it might work better to just stand firm and wait them out. then when the raging passes, find an acceptable compromise together (or not, depending on what it is)
My son is the negotiator (he *has* to have his own way, but is very good and thinking up solutions that will work). My daughter is the rager. She carries on like a pork chop, then backs down.