Learning to count - when do you get concerned?

DS1 is now 3.5 years old and still can't count. Up until recently I really haven't worried about it, I've always figured that he'll get his head around it sooner or later. But I must admit over the last few days it has started to worry me and I can't help but wonder if maybe this might be a sign of a learning difficulty or something else and whether or not we should be consulting someone...

What's stopped me worrying in the past is that he is so strong in so many other areas. Physically he is great, has fantastic balance and spacial awareness. His vocabulary is also really, really good, as is his problem solving ability (well for a 3 year old anyway) and ability to listen. But when it comes to counting, it just doesn't stick. A few months ago he seemed to be getting his head around it and would count to 8 or 9. I guess then we may of dropped the ball a little and stopped reinforcing it so much at home. But, he does go to CC 3 days a week so I'm sure there was still counting going on there. But for the last couple of months we've really been trying to do a lot more counting, but we're getting no where. Right now the best he can do is 1, 2, 4 and then maybe continue on a little sporadically. Now, I hate comparing to other kids, but most 3.5 year olds can count to 10 and a good handful seem to be getting to 20. So when do I start to worry and seek help?

He had is 3.5 year check up with the MCHN a couple of weeks ago and she wasn't concerned because he was up to speed on everything else they check. She just said that obviously sequences weren't his strong point... And I mentioned it to the kinder teacher and she wasn't to phased by it, but I'm starting to be. Is it silly? Should we keep on just waiting for him to get there in his own time? Or should I be seeking help and looking to get him assessed?

So you've said he's well balance in other areas - that's your answer right there.

Does he demonstrate concepts -- so does he understand big/little, night/day, boy/girl, that kind of thing? What about colours, shapes.

You really need to consider the big picture and not just one area. So from what you've said about other things, he sounds perfectly normal/fine to me.

What sort of counting activities are you doing with him? I would focus on fun counting rather than sit down rote counting. Like when you are out waking, count the number of dogs you see, mailboxes, that kind of thing.

I agree with your MCHN, and ausgirl he is good at other areas - not everyone will be great at everything. For example my DD is not great at stacking blocks - it doesn't interest her in the slightest - that is one of the things they did at the MCHN 3.5 year appointment - the nurse wanted her to put them one on top of the other she just kept saying "no it is better this way and stacking them 2x2 instead of 1x1 - the nurse asked if she stacked at home - no she doesn't has never been interested in that sort of thing. Counting isn't particularly her strong point either - she missed out 7 when MCHN asked her but she is interested in what does 2+1 make and 3+2 etc. She also knows all the colors and has for about a year - the 3.5 check only wanted them to know a couple. Asked to count as in saying out the sequence she quite often will get it wrong - but strangely enough you ask her to actually count objects and she does far better. Sequences probably aren't her thing either - but she does remember all the words to songs and stories after only hearing two or three times - I think is down to where there interests lie alot - she is very into words and sounds but numbers don't grab her at the moment.

Do you mean reciting the numbers in order or actually counting?
Can he discern between one and two things? Can he tell if there is more or less in different piles of things by looking at them?
I honestly wouldn't worry at all if my child wasn't interested in reciting numbers

I agree with the others - if he's good in other areas then I wouldn't worry too much. My DS is 3.4 yrs and only recently starting including the number 7 lol! For some reason he would always leave it out and then one day it just 'clicked' and now he gets it right every time. Also it might just be one of those things that he isn't interested in right now as obviously he is so good at other things that his little brain is so busy that it just cant' fit in counting as well lol! I would just keep making it fun!

Thanks so much for reassuring me ladies. He understands the difference between one and two things, maybe even three things, I'm not 100% sure. But he can definately tell more or less. He is interested in counting, he initiates it several times a day at the moment, when we're reading a book, going down the stairs, getting crackers out, doing stamping etc etc.

Ausgirl he gets most of the concepts you mentioned, big/small, boy/girl (but can't get his head around he/she yet), night/day, shapes and colours.... So, I guess that's a good sign.

He sounds perfectly normal to me and the he/she thing is often more around the 5 years mark before they really understand that.

As a teacher I agree with MadB's point on the difference between counting and reciting numbers. Also, the fact you say he is interested in counting is also a good sign. It shows he know it has a use, especially if its in conjunction with things you said like counting crackers and stuff. If it were me I'd just count things with him whenever the opportunity arises. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, even if its just you counting out the crackers and him listening. If its something he hears all the time he will pick up on it and not have to specifically learn or be taught it if you know what I mean? This has been the case with my DD and the kids I teach (I teach special ed).

He sounds like he is doing better than my DS Miss E, he sounds like he doesnt count as high but he understands it more.

Mr I recites up to 12 then skips a few to 20, recognises up to 10 and with a bit of help can read most numbers (ie 25) and letters.
But he doesnt really "get" what counting is about. He recognises at a glance 2 of something but if you ask him to count objects he just randomly recites numbers, often pointing to empty spaces on the page or counting the same object 2 or 3 times. Slight improvement if I ask him to slow down and think about it but he finds that difficult, I think.
He doesnt get less/more when talking about numbers, he still hasnt got a handle on you/me/I. Although that is partly my fault, trying to break the habit of speaking in third person :wall:
And he either cant or wont follow directions/instructions when doing activities despite wanting to play the game/whatever. In daily life he can but usually wont.

Is he deliberately being difficult or am I expecting too much?