weaning from dummy

hi ladies,

I was talked into using a dummy for DD2 (didn't use one with DD1) because she has reflux, and admittedly it did help with her reflux if sleeping after a feed. But it seems we have become a little too attached to it for my liking. She now will not go to sleep without it, and is now also waking up if it falls out/is gone and will settle if it is replaced - before I could take it out when she fell asleep and that would be that. She doesn't have it at other times, I don't ever give it to her if she is not going down for a sleep.

So, am I right in wanting to wean her from this - I would like her to be able to sleep for a full sleep without having to replace the dummy. And I would like to be able to get her off to sleep without the dummy (or feeding - happy to give cuddles and rocks etc).

In the evenings, she will go off to sleep without it, but is instead feeding to sleep.
And when we are out, she will go off to sleep without it (in either the car, carrier or pram), so potentially she can, right?

So I tried today to wean her off it, and she just wouldn't go to sleep at all, just cried and cried despite lots of cuddles and rocks by mum, in the end I gave her another feed, and she dropped right off (this should have been her second sleep time, but was only having her first)

so did i make it worse by substituting dummy for boob?
how long does it take to wean from a dummy? i have heard 3 days but that seems awfully optimistic.
and how do you wean from a dummy, bear in mind that she is 7 months old (no controlled crying suggestions please).

She's very young. At this age it's entirely normal to feed to sleep - your dummy is really just a substitute for the breast, after all. It is a bit of a nuisance if she need it all the time since it's liable to fall out. I imagine it's something that will pass with time, though, as kids to grow out of feeding to sleep. I think dummies may be more of if they're used when awake :dunno:

In the end, i think the only thign to do is just do something else and stick with it.

Thanks Mad,

I am a bit confused as to what to do...

Today she only had one day sleep (usually has 3) because she just couldn't go down. SHe has finally gone done for the night (will have a late evening feed and one thru the night), but only feeding to sleep, even as exhausted as she was.

I tried so many times today to put her down to sleep, and even when feeding she only dropped off, but awoke either as soon as the breast was removed, or when I layed her down.

Maybe I am just better leaving her with the dummy? will she grow out of needing it put back in? I am ok with her having it if it is just for getting to sleep. It will be alot better than me having to feed her to sleep every time (will be impossible when I go back to work or if DH or anyone else has to put her down to sleep).

or, by giving her the dummy is the needing it to be put back in going to get worse? I am just getting really tired myself....

I don't really want to subsitute dummy to sleep with feeding to sleep, I was hoping a cuddle and a rock would work, but DD wouldn't have a bar of it, when I layed her down in my arms, she just either tried to get my niplle thru my shirt, or sucked on my arm (gave me a hicky) or screamed.

I don't want another day like today, I don't know whether to continue or just give it back to her????? Or, if I do keep going for a couple more days, and it still hasn't worked, then will I make it worse by giving it back?

I'm really angry with myself that I
(a) gave in and used a dummy in the first place, when I never would have
(b) then found it a little to easy to use

My DD is also addicted to her dummy and it was also reflux that was the reason we gave it to her. Initially I was worried about her needing it to sleep all the time, but then I decided that at least she was sleeping and self settling. It wasn't much after 6 months that she started finding her own dummy to replace at night (most of the time). To help we would (and still do) put several dummies in her bed when she sleeps. Once she is asleep I'll often check to make sure there are some dummies within reach. When she was about 18 months old we made dummies a sleep thing only and she happily hands them over when she wakes. I figure we are at an age now where we will just wait for her to understand something like a dummy fairy or Santa ect taking them one day. I honestly don't mind now that they are just used for sleep...

My DS2 has a dummy for sleeping. He's 19 months. It's strictly for sleep. Its on a white chain thing that's attached to his sleeping bag which means he can find it and put it in during the night. Now that he's older he knows to take it out and leave it in the cot.

My DS1 was a terrible sleeper so for me, whether its a dummy or whatever, if it means he sleeps I don't really care! Ill probably get rid of the dummy when he's old enough to understand a present swap / dummy goes to the fairies scenario. That worked well with DS1 and his bottle.

If it were me, I'd just go with the flow.

Does she still have reflux?

I gave DD a dummy at 6 weeks ish cos she had colic/reflux and it really helped at that time. When the colic stopped, she just spat out the dummy and didn't want it anymore.

I gave DS a dummy probably a little earlier cos he had reflux and worse than dd. Similarly, when the reflux cleared he just gave up the dummy.

Maybe wait until the reflux has cleared, hopefully soon as your little one is sitting up more, and then it may not be as difficult to get rid of it.

thanks ladies for all your replies.

she soes still have reflux - I hadn't noticed any episodes for a while, that is until I tried to remove the dummy.

also, we had a week of teething or something, where she just wouldn't suck it at all, and had trouble nursing. It was a hell week with the only way I could get her to sleep in my arms. so we had a week of me laying on the lounge with her in my arms all night, and for all of her day sleeps too. so glad that is over.

made me realise that the dummy is the least of my worries, so I am going to leave it for now. I guess I was just feeling a bit pressured, not so much from anyone else, but just putting pressure on myself I guess.

If you still decide down the road to get rid of it maybe you could try adapting One of Elizabeth Pantleys no cry sleep solution techniques.

Hi there. We got rid of DS' dummy when he was two (the very day after his birthday) and could understand what we were explaining. That way we could prep him for it. When the day came to give it up and put it in the bin he already knew it was happening and it went very smoothly. I don't think there is any harm in leaving her with it for a while longer.

I think if it makes things easier right now, then just go with it. When things are not so hard, then you can think about changing.

3-5days is normally what I have experienced with dummy withdrawl.

They do start to find the dummy in their sleep. It doesn't take long and tommy tippee have dummies that have glow in the dark handles :)

I haven't weaned a dummy before 3 yrs but mine that use/used them still have reflux so we needed them.

Personaly Im happy with my kids and their dummys and hate the bad press they get by people. They have been a godsend in our house :)

Please do an update for us. My Ds has a dummy for his reflux and my Dd never had one so I'm sure we will be in the same situation in a yr or two.