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Has any heard of this or done it? Our pead wants me to do it and frankly I'm bit sure if i shod be offended or if this sort of thing could shed some light on how to help my ten yr old asd son. So far what I have read is its more for new parents and toddlers. I have five kids and Evans issues are not as simple as what this appears to target.
One of my close friends has done it and raved about it after each lesson. It sounded really interesting when she would report what went on and she said she wishes she had of done it earlier as her kids are in there teens. She is a mum of 6 kids.
Ooo I'm interested efjay. I'm struggling with DS1 big time
If the women ever calls me back I will let you know more. When read the stuff it seems to be based on teaching in attentive parents that have caused their children to not feel secure to recognise when the child is needing that extra attention. But fark me, I can tell you now, we are far from in attentive patents and my OT agrees lol
I've heard that it's really good, too. My sister did a course, I think it was that one, when she was looking for ways to address her oldest's behavioural issues (that was before he eventually got a diagnosis of ADHD.) And I wouldn't take it as a criticism - no parent knows everything, but that doesn't make us all bad or inattentive parents, and I'm sure your DR was just suggesting it it so that you might have some more tools in your toolkit to address the difficulties you have.
A friend did this and thought it was fantastic. She also recommended it to another friend who is far from inattentive, but seemed to be struggling with her girl. To me it didn't sound like it was for teaching inattentive parents to be attentive, but more to shed some light on why kids behave a certain way, how you can deal/cope and how to help them deal/cope. I wouldn't be offended.
I did this and would say that I am not inattentive. I think the fact that I am attentive led me to take the course. I suffer from pnd and have a difficult history with my family. I was judging myself harshly, and this course taught me how to focus on important things. That being there for your child through all their emotions is important. And that a lot of parents have difficulties with their emotions, which they then pass onto their children subconsciously.
So seriously I wouldn't be offended. I would think that maybe your paed saw that you were an attentive parent and wanted to give you the best tools for being a great parent. I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but after doing it I definitely would recommend it.
Circle of security is BRILLIANT! I did a uni subject on it and I would highly recommend pretty much every parent do it. It is not about whether you are a 'good' or 'bad' parent, it's about understanding the relationship personality type you are and how that impacts your parenting and the way your child is responding to you. You will benefit from it for sure- it's so good that no-one could NOT benefit from it.
I stared Circle Of Security on Monday. I did Incredible Years last year for 14 weeks and COS is sort of a follow on to that. I got so much out of IY.
thank you for such positive replies. I am feeling much better about it now.
I honestly had thoughts that the pead was suggesting that our son was Autistic because he did not securely attach to me as a baby. You know how back in the day disengaged mothers where blamed for Autism.
I hope it can shed some light then, Evan really struggles to regulate his own emotions & respond to them appropriately. So if it can help us help him with that then great. I was thinking that it would be aimed at teaching me when he is stressed & how I should respond. When really, he stressed ALL the time & I can tell when he slaps himself in the head!
Im in defensive mode I think because no one seems to have answers for us anymore.
Hugs efjay, its not your fault at all. It's a chemical imbalance. This course isn't about telling you what you've done wrong. More about understanding how its normal to feel all the different emotions. And how as s parent we shouldn't let our discomfort with a feeling, alter how the child is feeling. And that every emotion is valid.
I really hope the circle of security helps you to cope with the feelings. Not alter your feelings of yourself. And so that you don't feel a need to justify your actions. Because I'm sure you do the best job you can under the circumstances.
Did you end up doing the course efjay? I've just finished session 5 and it's amazing! It hasn't just shown me how to help my girl be secure and why she acts a certain way, but it's teaching me a lot about myself. Why I react to things a particular way and new ways to think about things. If you haven't done it, I really can't recommend it more than enough! The lady running the course has said that even though she has teenagers, it has still helped her with understanding them better so it can be useful no matter the age of your kids.