I don't want to tread on any toes, but I am grieving and I need to get this out.
This story is not my own, but of my best friend and what we went through yesterday.
My dearest friend M is 16 weeks pregnant with twins, in the safe zone so to speak.
Yesterday M went for an elective scan to find out the gender of her babes.
I was honoured to be asked to go with her and her husband, to see my godchildren for the first time.
Twin A is doing beautifully. A strong heartbeat and measuring well for the dates.
Twin B is much smaller. Measuring 2 weeks behind. And no heartbeat.
I cannot begin to describe the pain that filled the room as we watched the screen in absolute disbelief.
So much joy to so much pain in a matter of seconds. It came as such a shock. She's had no signs of trouble, no bleeding and no pain.
It was not a medical scan so they sonographer asked us to call the hospital immediately and follow up with them.
We rang and the midwife asked M to report to Emergency as soon as possible.
Her husband drove home to pick up their other kids from school and kinder, and I drove M to the hospital. It was one of the most horrific journeys I've ever driven. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't comfort her, all I could do was drive and get us to the hospital as soon as I could.
The hospital staff couldn't do anything.
They just told her what we already knew and said from here things could go a number of ways.
Twin B still poses a threat of infection to the surviving twin and to mum. If she passes it, she may lose both.
The next five months are going to be worrying in a way we could have never dreamed.
I tried to stay as strong as I could at the hospital. But the hour or so drive home, I sobbed.
The tears haven't dried since. I can't turn them off.
I wish I could fix this. I want to take away their pain.
I am praying that everything is okay with the surviving twin and that they will live a long and happy life.
To our little darling that was too precious for this world, all my love. Watch over your family and bring them comfort today and always.
I'm sorry I couldn't see you grow up and become who you wanted to be. You will be in my heart forever.
