Intervening with friendships

Hi all
Need a bit of advice
Dd started school this yr and had a hard time first two weeks due to not having any friends.
Shes quite shy at school

Anyway on week three she made a friend and they became good friends
I was so happy for her and her mum and i also get along.

Yesterday the friend said she doesnt want to be friends with my daughter anymore coz my daughter called her poo poo

My daughter said she didnt and i told them it was a misunderstanding.

They were ok and said bye to each other

This morning the little girl said she doesnt want to be my daughters friend anymore again.

Dd doesnt seem to be overly upset but i feel upset for her as i dont think she has
Any ither friends as she usually likes to cling onto one friend.

Should i intervene and try to resolve the conflict or let them handle it?

I hope my dd is ok i feel really sad for her

Aw poor little poppet :(

No parenting experience, but have coached a LOT of junior sport and I've noticed that kids just do this. Enemies one day and best friends the next! If she doesn't seem upset I'd let it go.

That being said, I would casually ask her about it. She might just brush it off. Hopefully she will make some more friends :)

I think I would leave her to sot it out herself. If she brings the topic up and wants to talk to you about it, she will. Maybe just say to her something like 'if you want to talk to mummy about school or anything you can and I am always here for you'. But other wise, I think that kids are kids and they do that sort of thing. She will need to learn to deal with it herself.

At this stage, I would leave the girls to sort it out. It's quite possible that this incident will be forgotten by this afternoon and your intervening will only create a bigger issue. It is difficult to watch your child struggle to find their place, but you can't be there to sort out her friendships for her - part of school is social learning which develops resilience and independence. Perhaps you could invite some of the kids over for a play date - one at a time - to allow your DD the opportunity to build friendships.

I agree that you should leave them to it. Not sure how old your DD is given all the differences in school starting age, but my DD1 when she was in kindy so 4 turning 5 would come home saying that whoever didn't want to be her friend anymore, was friends with someone else etc. Initially it broke my heart and I wanted to go down there and say something because whether its kids being kids or not, its hurtful to say such things. I just told my DD that it wasn't a nice way to say it, but that sometimes people just want to play with other people sometimes and she could take the opportunity to maybe play with some new kids.

It also became pretty apparent that while my DD said she played "with no one", she was in fact quite a social little person and was always in the middle of things.

If your DD isn't overly upset about it, I would really just leave it be. If she is upset, then maybe talk to her teacher and ask her to keep an eye on things, and maybe help your DD join in a few groups.

Good luck. Its heart breaking to think that your little one is lonely or not liked

Leave your kids to sort out their own friendship dramas. Parents intervening can cause bigger issues and kids usually get over it fairly quickly.

Thanks ladies!! Im a novice to all this school stuff.

I will leave it and see if dd wants to talk about it today.

To be honest she seemed to not care as much as i thought and when i asked if she had other friends she said no

Lulu she is 4 going on 5 also

I've learnt from experience not to intervene, this still happens to DD11 to this day when she comes home in tears about one of the girls not being friends then the next day they are best friends again.

Regards,
Dianne

Don't intervene, they are little, they have spats all the time and they get over them as fast as they have them. Children need to be able to manage their own conflict and learn how to from early on. It's horrible to watch, but this is probably the first of hundreds over her schooling.