DS still in his cot at 3

As the title says, my DS who just turned 3 still sleeps in his cot. We have not had any reasons to move him into a big bed as yet. There is no baby on its way and he doesn't try to climb out of it. It's a fairly big cot. My OH doesn't want to put him in a big boy bed as he believes he'll constantly try to escape from his bed and end up with us. As it stands, he ends up in our bed 3 or 4 times a week for a few hours, usually after 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, but there have been periods when he sleeps in his cot all night for months. I'm scared that maybe keeping him in the cot is detrimental to his mental development ie he still thinks of himself as a baby? Is he too old for a cot? Anyone had their little one in a cot for such a long time? I really think I should push the issue of getting a big bed for him with my OH, but I think he's just happy to leave him there until there is no room for him in it anymore! lol.

Can you simply remove the side of the cot and test the theory a bit? Neither of mine went straight into a 'big bed' - both had the side off the cot around 18-20 months. DD1 went into a big bed at 3 (due to DD2 in the works), DD2 is 2 and still in the sideless cot. The only reason I am thinking of moving her is to put them in bunks in the same room.

Might give you some indication as to his inclinations to get out of bed etc, and if it fails, you can simply put the side back on and try again in a few months time.

I don't know that it's detrimental for his mental health, but drawing it out will make it harder for him iykwim. Yes, he will most likely get out, for a while, but that's going to happen with any age and it really is just a matter of teaching him what you want him to do. What LS says is a great idea, start with the side down or off and then progress from there. Does he sleep during the day? You could start with day time naps in a big bed if so.
I would make a really big deal out of it - get him special new sheets - let him help you choose them, special doona cover, whatever and make sure you make a big song and dance of how he's such a big boy now, etc.

My kids sleep with me, so I don't think you should feel pressure to move him to a bed because that's what other kids sleep in. We all just do what works for our family.

I like LS idea, and I would explain that he can get out, but it's important to try and stay in bed until morning (if that's what you want). Some people use a little light or alarm showing 7am so the child knows when it is morning time.

I think it could be beneficial for him to learn some responsibility and show he can stay in bed himself, but obviously only when you're all ready.

I think its fine to leave him in there if you are happy with it and your DS is also. My DD didn't start sleeping in the cot until she was 4 (she started having nightmares and as the cot was in our room would come and climb in and go to sleep) It got to the stage where it just become her bed. About a month ago I took it down and now she sleeps in her bed in her room 98% of the time. My sisters son slept very well in his cot until he was 3 when she put him in a big boy bed which he never stayed in and now at 6.5 he sleeps with her and has almost ever since she took the cot down despite multiple attemps over many months to ger him in his own bed again. Taking the side of sounds like a good idea and I know of people who take there kids to pick their bed themselves or some manchester to go on it to make it more exciting when they transition from cot to bed.

What does your son think? At 3 he should be vocal enough to tell you. I know my two were very eager for their big boy beds and thankfully tried to escape the first two nights then that novelty wore off. They also seem to sleep better, maybe it's more room plus if they wake in the night one of us can sit with them or lay with them too... That's a big bonus compared to the cot as I found it hard to comfort them in there.

I wouldnt worry i would go with what he wants ...if he feels secure and still fits the cot let him be .... he will protest the cot when he doesnt want it any more...

My first son who is 12 now went into his big bed at 3 and he was in a protable cot with a foam mattress ..but he loved it and i loved it as he couldnt get out lol.... NO devemental detriment with my boy !!

And my ds who is 2 1/5 loves his small cot.....and i will just go with him ....

Its like bottles the kids wean them selfs.....

My 3 year old sleeps in a side car cot attached to our bed. He calls it his cage bed lol.
I wouldn't worry about what others are up to and just focus on what works for you guys.

I moved DD1 into a toddler bed around 18mths and it was the worst thing I ever did! This time I am keeping DD2 in the cot as long as possible, three sounds reasonable to me! I'd do whatever works best for your family. I can't see this being detrimental to your DS.

Thanks for your replies and advice ladies.

LS, I did consider pulling down the rails, I might even do that first, I just think the mattress is quite high off the floor if he fell down? I went to see a friend with a 3 and a half year old who's been in his big bed since he was almost 3, and it seemed quite low to the ground, plus she has a safety rail on the side for him. Once I take the sides off there won't be any safety rail. The other thing is that he rolls quite a bit in his sleep so I can see him falling out a lot. I'll give it a go though, that will give me a chance to see how often he tries to escape and how strong my will power is! lol.

Ausgirl, no day sleeps here anymore unfortunately :( And I think you're spot on, it doesn't matter when he is moved into a big bed, he will attempt to flee it anyway to begin with, as he loves to sleep with us. Doesn't matter if he is 2, 3 or 4!

I think I will take the side rails off like I've said ladies, and give it a couple of months but I will slowly organise a big bed for him. I figure I can always lie down with him when he needs a bit of soothing to sleep (currently I stay in his room for 5 or 10 minutes until he is really relaxed and then I walk out).

Thanks agian for your advice!

With regard to side rails, we used a pillow lengthways down the side with DD1 and I use a rolled up beach towel under the fitted sheet lengthways for DD2. She has rolled out twice. The first couple of months I just chucked the European pillows from my bed on the floor JIC but neither really had an issue* wrt falling out of bed. :)

My little girl is 3 in July and won't be in a big bed anytime soon

Thanks for the great tip about the rolled up towel LS! Fantastic idea :) I planned to put lots of pillows on the floor or even use one of our camping thin mattresses (half the thickness of a standard mattress) so if he falls off it's no biggie.

Jlk, thanks hun, that makes me feel better!

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Can you simply remove the side of the cot and test the theory a bit? Neither of mine went straight into a 'big bed' - both had the side off the cot around 18-20 months. DD1 went into a big bed at 3 (due to DD2 in the works), DD2 is 2 and still in the sideless cot. The only reason I am thinking of moving her is to put them in bunks in the same room.

Might give you some indication as to his inclinations to get out of bed etc, and if it fails, you can simply put the side back on and try again in a few months time.

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this is what we have done.
DD went from a sidecar in our room, to a cot with one side off,in the nursery (around her 2nd bday). Next summer she will go in her big girl room with a big girl bed (3.5yo), and DS will go into the nursery(1.5yo)