Enter the Tantrum Stage...

Mods, pls move if this is in the wrong place.

DS is 3 weeks shy of 2 years old and from Sunday night has started having massive tantrums. They last between 45 mins to 2 hours.

The first one was SUnday and he was asking for easter eggs (which I have since hidden away from sight). I tell him no and offer him two other choices of food. He gets so worked up about it that when he gets into his rage he forgets what it is he is raging about and everything is answered with a "NO!". He pulls, pinches my legs, hits me. Anything I offer he refuses. After about an hour, DP put DS in his room and shut the door as we were both getting close to losing it. I yelled a few times, it's so overwhelming. He eventually calmed down when we put him in the shower with DP (the normal night time routine).

The next one was the next night. He refused to get into his high chair, so I didn't bother after one attempt. But then he was screaming and pulling at his chair saying "get up, get up". SO I went to put him in and he screamed and kicked. He then proceeded to throw all his food off the tray onto the floor. I asked him not to do it, then gave up. Again he continued to rage, kicking and hitting me. DP put him in his room again. DP went to check on him and DS slammed the door in DP's face. DP went into the room and sat on the bed. DS pulled DP's hand for him to get up and walked him to the open door then when DP walked through the door DS slammed the door on him again. I went in after a few minutes and sat on the bed and started playing with some toys. he eventually stopped screaming. but when I went to move away saying, "lets go into the lounge room and read a book/see daddy/build a tower" he started again. I resorted to giving him a warm milk, which he usually has after his shower closer to bed time, but I wanted to do anything to calm him down and get him quiet as it was the two hour one...

He had another tantrum yesterday afternoon when we got home after day care (he';s been in day care for six months, had no issues during the day). This one lasted about 45 minutes, he was again asking for easter eggs, dragging me over to where they were and saying "more". I said "they are all gone, you can have a yoghurt or a cheese stick" and he lost it. I then wanted to go out the front saying "go outside" so I opened the door and he went out slammed the door shut and screamed "go inside". I told him that he can be outside if he wants, but that I wasn't going to keep doing this. again a warm milk eventually calmed him while he was also distracted by the tv.

this morning he woke at 5.30am and had another tantrum as I refused to bounce him on the fit ball to get him back to sleep (I weaned him about 4 weeks ago). he has only just started asking to be bounced when he wakes in the last week, before he never was interested. this morning I ended up getting up and starting the day. he settled down once the tv came on (yep, mother of the year here) but still fought getting into his high chair so I didn't bother.

its like he has had a massive developmental jump forward overnight, i'm completely overwhelmed by how to deal with how angry he is. he's always been an unsettled, stubborn little guy. is 2 years old too young to put in his room? I don't know what to do :(

It sounds pretty intense for you. :(

We do get upset, angry and frustrated when we don't get our own way. Little kids tend to 'overreact' (from an adult's perspective), but I think the first thing is to acknowledge that to a certain extent, it's pretty normal, understandable behaviour. They don't really want to be bad or difficult, they're just having difficulty dealing with the situation in a way that's acceptable to the adults around them.

Can you see any triggers for tantrums, that you might be able to manage before the meltdown? Tiredness, hunger, thirst? Maybe he's frustrated about things he can and cannot do (how's his language)? Does he need to 'run' more during the day to burn energy?
Sometimes diet can have an influence on behaviour too. Some kids are very sensitive to certain additives, which can make it impossible for them to calm down and feel good.

How much autonomy does he have, day to day? Do you think he could be trying to assert more control over himself and make more decisions for himself? (also, he probably knew you were lying about the easter eggs :) My kids always know)

Personally, I wouldn't put a child this young away in their room. It isn't likely to help, but probably make them angrier and very upset. And then the situation escalates. (I do find I want to put myself in timeout sometimes! I need a break and don't want to completely lose it.)

did he have much chocolate at easter? Just asking cos my DD got into the chocolate (on DH's watch), and then had more later and she was a little horror, but I think she was just in sugar overload. A couple days of detoxing and she is back to regular almost 3 year old behaviour. (which still involves tantrums but not as crazy as Monday).