I think I'm over it.....

I think I've reached the end of my tether. I'm feeling so very despondent today and I don't think its just the bipolar making itself known either.

My chart this month has been a real horror. I don't know why. There is no medical reason for it. My pre-O temps were uncharacteristically up and down. I was expecting a temp rise this morning and instead, it's almost flatlined. I've had two days with my first ever positive OPK's. I've had EWCM of really good amount and quality for the past week. Maybe Baby was telling me I was good to go.

And now it looks as though I'll either O later again or will be anovulatory. :crying:

I woke this morning and realised that I'm just so sick of the whole temping and ttc thing. I should still BE pregnant, not trying to see two lines on a stick again. I'm tired of my life revolving around my thermometer and I'm tired of my DH giving me grief because we have to have sex on command. I'll stick out to the end of this cycle (if it ever ends) because I've made an agreement, but I honestly think that if I'm feeling then, like I feel now....that'll be it for me.

If it is meant to happen again. It will.

Lisa

Lisa :hug:

A sign of ovulation on a chart can be a dip in temperature or a temp then same ore similar to the previous days temp. Having ++ OPks is a really good sign :) .

Don't give up just yet, just wait until you are sure you have O'd then give yourself a bit of a breather! You don't want to miss your chance this month, you have come this far this cycle it shouldn't be too much longer for O.

Heaps of hugs!!

Tanya

Here is a link to my chart. It is just so different to the previous months, I'm sure something is amiss. Recently my charts have been so easy to read....this month is a write-off.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/fd71c

Lisa
PS. I doubt I can convince DH to bd any more. He was really very disinterested yesterday and was not even that inclined to "finish the job".

I can see what you mean. But it is still very easy to read, I have seen some that are full of peaks and troughs... very hard to read.

I think you should see a temp rise soon. I know waiting for O can be very stressful (I didn't O until CD 22 this cycle), but I think your BD timing looks pretty good, even if you can't get DH to go again (by the sounds of it he may not be much use anyway ;) )

GL

Tanya

Thank you....I hope you're right. And I really appreciate you taking the time to hold my hand and reassure me.

Lisa

Lisa,

I understand exactly what you are going through. My Mum thinks that temping and taking OPK is too much pressure......and I am thinking the same as you. This month I took my temps and it was high Friday/Sat but OPK were coming up -tive and had no EWCM. Then had EWCM yesterday but my temp had dropped so left me thinking when the hell did I O. And DH is acting the same, thinking of DTD as a 'chore' now as I tell him when we need to do it!!

Don't give up though, what I am going to next month (if BFN this month) is just DTD every second day without taking temps and OPK's....just try and relax.

Chin up Lisa, we are all here for you when you need to get these frustrations out as we all have the same thoughts.

Bella xoxoxox

No worries :)

It really is hard this ttc stuff!! We all need a bit of help every now and then. And BB can help when everything seems to be falling apart (which seems 1000000 times worse when dealing with it alone).

I really think you will get your temp rise in the morning. It is hard to get a ++ OPK, esp two in a row!!

I will be checking your chart in the morning :)

Tanya

Hi Lisa :) Sorry u're feeling so down about all this TTC stuff....i'm beginning to see just how frustrating and technical it can become. Sometimes i wonder if it's better to stop charting all together and just bd every other day as u suggested...that way both DH and i are not under so much pressure.????? We are with u Lisa still sending heaps of :bluedust:

Unfortunately, with our situation, it's an all or nothing thing. Either I temp and chart and we bd on schedule, or it just won't happen. We don't live together so the every 2nd day through the entire cycle just isn't possible for us. :(

LIsa

That does make it more difficult - no wonder u both are feeling the pressure of it all. Lisa i really hope it happens for u soon - i only wish there was something more supportive i could do.....this waiting game is a shocker! It does make me take a look at how fortunate i am to already be blessed with one gorgeous baby - conceiving her first try -...i can't even comprehend how difficult and emotionally draining it must be for the LT TTC people. Sending u big hugs :hug:

Hello, chin up chickkie, it is hard... but it will get better!
I'd just like to say (about last PG) when we'd been trying for ages and I'd reached the end of my tether, I went and did sometime totally non-scientific. I bought a little african fertility doll, and set up a space with candles and some beautiful wish beads, and a silky pink feminine cloth, and fresh flowers each day. It made me feel better, like I was honouring my feminine creative self. Anyway, it might just be coincidence, but I fell pregnant that very month. So sometimes you've just got to chill out and enjoy the ride a bit.
Hope you're feeling better soon, and in the meantime, treat yourself.
Marydean

Thanks girls.

I've done something that I very rarely do at this stage of my cycle. I've discarded today's temp. It really is bothering me. It was 36.6 when I woke at 5.30am and then I dozed again until 6.00 and it was 36.74. I REALLY want to use the higher one, but I think that would be falling into the trap of using the most attractive temp to make my chart look better. So...rather than worry about it, I'm discarding.

I'm reasonably sure that my O day was yesterday because of all the signs and symptoms and because today I've gone back to faint faint lines on the OPK's, have creamy CM and my CP is low as well. If I don't discard today's temp, then every high temp after today puts my O date as being today and I really don't think that is correct.

Oh well....it'll make me feel better anyway, there's nothing I can do about the BD side of things except curse my body for churning out fertile CM so early!

Lisa

Awww Lisa, :hug:

It is a very difficult thing to go through month after month. I too am getting that sinking feeling again today as AF approaches. I know that it is more difficult for you because you have a strict timeline you and your drs have decided to stick to.

There's nothing really I can say except you're not alone!!! Like some of the other girls have said, my first two pregnancies came very easily (even though the second ended in m/c) and I am forever grateful for that BUT in some ways I think it makes it harder this time that it hasn't happened first time, mainly because this together with my recent history, makes me worry that 'something's up'. Will soon find out tho, off to my gyno next week.

I think Marydean's idea is spot on. I have done something similar, an idea that my dear girlfriend passed on to me. (She has had a really tough time ttc for about 18months and has just gotten a bfp on her second IVF cycle) - I went out and bought a little pair of baby socks and I sleep with them every night under my pillow. It might sound silly to some people, but each night before I go to sleep I give them a little squeeze and think positive thoughts and say a little prayer that one day soon there will be a little baby to wear those little socks.

Obviously this isn't going to make me fall prg any sooner, but it does make me feel better and is one thing I can do to try and stay positive.

Maybe you could try something like this?? You just never know, it might make you feel a bit better.

Update...well my temp rose today. Thank goodness. I decided to go with the higher temp from yesterday. It doesn't make much difference to my chart other than make my O date a little more believable. The big story will be if my temp stays up tomorrow.

Lisa

Sometimes the temping mkes it all that more difficult because the analysing gets extreme! But, it does help in the long run - have seen many women with success from it. Hope that temp rise continues for you Lisa....