How often do you leave your kids to sort their own battles?
DD is 6 and DS1 is 4 1/2. Some days they fight like cat and dog. I know it's a brother/sister thing too, and totally normal to argue/fight, but some days they just go a bit batty! Like today....
I try not to get involved too much, but it doesn't seem to be working for me/us. I try to tell them to talk to each other and use their words, or walk away from each other if the other isn't listening or if they need space. This arvo (mind you DD has been home for all of about 55mins!) they have been at each other, and have made each other genuinely cry at what they were doing/saying to each other. They hit, they scream, call each other names, and just generally be nasty. I sent both of them to their rooms for 5 mins and then made them talk to each other civilly, apologise and tell each other they will be nice, they won't hurt or insult each other and I told them they would spend more time in their rooms if they can't treat each other with respect and kindness.
But I really don't want to micro manage them like this. I want them to just be nice to each other, or if they're in a bad mood, to find somewhere to calm down/rest/whatever they need to do to cope in each others presence. They can play really well together and usually do, but there seems to be alot of times I am rousing on them too.
What other strategies can I use to help them manage their emotions? I don't want to have to be stepping in on their arguments all the time, they need to learn to cope themselves! Or am I asking/expecting too much?
How often do you leave your kids to sort their own battles?
I'm fine with them sorting their own battles but I am very strict about fighting either physically or verbally. It's ok to disagree or to get heated when trying to resolve a problem. But no nastiness, no physical attacks. I've been like this with them from a very early age. I really dislike the notion that fighting is normal.
How often do you leave your kids to sort their own battles?
Maybe address their behaviour but not the problem. With situations like this I often ask leading questions rather than tell them how to behave. If that makes sense. Also ask them how they would feel if you acted this way towards them and if you acted this way towards your partner. And if you do act that way nip that in the bud first ;)
How often do you leave your kids to sort their own battles?
I wish I could give advice but all I can say is that I totally understand.
I'm hoping its one of those 'this too shall pass' type phases!!
How often do you leave your kids to sort their own battles?
I know it sucks when you have to remain calm. But if we don't we're kind of being hypocritical.
I do the sit on the couch until you sort it out thing. And when they were little I would guide them in how to talk about how they feel and how to come to a resolution. It works. The first few times might be a battle of stamina. As they'll probably just want to call your bluff ;) but when they realise they can't continue playing/eating etc until they have reconciled you'd be amazed at how quickly they learn ;)