8 month old needs a sleep routine

Hi all

So dd2 is 8 months old and is having sleep issues which is starting to affect me.

I co-sleep with both of my daughters and exclusively breastfeed dd2 on demand.

Unfortunately she wants to sleep at 6.30 and refuses to sleep anywhere else but the bed.

Thats fine with me as i just take my phone with me and accommodate her.

However i cannot move away from her when in bed and even if i go to the toilet which is in my room she will wake up and cry.

It seems to br getting worse too. Now im struggling to put her down even while being fed. She has severe eczema so i have to make her sleep otherwise she will itch and itvh until her skin is raw again.

So last night she struggled to sleep and took 2 hrs to put her to sleep with her beong tired from crying.

This is with me comforting her and offering the breast which she srank a bit then stopped.

Shes never slept through the night either waking up every 2 to 3 hrs for a comfort suck which im find with

So how oh how do i make her sleep better should i start a routine? Ive never had routines so dont even know where to start!!!!

Btw her day sleeps are just as bad but i can handle them
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Helplppp

My sympathies, M2SCs. It sounds like you've reached the end of your tether with this. as they say with a lot of the parenting choices that we make, it isn't a problem unless it's a problem. Sounds like it's becoming a problem for you now. :(

I guess it depends on what you mean by a routine... a set of scheduled hours when you put her down and expect her to sleep? A bed-time routine which lets her know that bedtime is coming and gives her time to wind down? Or both? Or do you really just want her to be able to stay asleep when you move away from her in the night time? Regain some time for yourself in the evening perhaps?

There are heaps of internet resources on the former - we do nappy change, into a sleeping bag, bedtime song, boobfeed then bottle top-up, then into the cot with his dummy (for which he's decided he prefers an empty bottle with teat, to a dummy, as such!) when he's content and not sucking from hunger any more.

If it's the latter, maybe try slowly moving away from her, bit by bit, all the while talking quietly to her, or repeating 'sh...sh...', even if she's apparently sleeping soundly. Some part of her is aware of your presence, obviously, or she wouldn't wake when you leave, and if you can reassure that part that you're still there, with your quiet, soothing voice, it might help her to keep sleeping, knowing you're not far away. You could 'practise' this during the day, until she is happy to sleep with you, for example sitting on a chair in the room, and then go on from there, ie, leave the room entirely, popping back every few minutes to say 'sh...' for a few seconds, then space out the popping back, then start to do the same in the evenings.

I know you said you're ok with the current arrangements for daytime, but it's a lot easier to instigate these kind of changes when YOU are feeling positive, not overtired yourself, and have the energy to think straight.

Our bubs are around the age that they typically develop separation anxiety, too, I was reading the other day, and one of the suggestions from that site was along these lines - ie, reassuring them that you exist even if you are out of touching distance or out of sight.

I know that my DS slept much better in his cradle in the corner than he did next to me in bed, and so do I, though we moved to the cot in his own room last week, and that's taking some getting use to. Not that he's perfect, by any means - he was still up between 2 and 5 times a night - but he is generally very easy to settle in the middle of the night, which means that I can stay half asleep during a feed, put him down, and go straight back to bed and back to sleep myself. It's the staying awake trying to settle him, then lying awake anticipating the next cry that knocks me for six in the morning.

I'm sure there are plenty of other ideas from more experienced mamas, too. Good luck :)

Thanks pholi

Being able to digest my dinner properly before having to scoff it down so i can go to sleep withher at 6.30 would be nice lol

Yes dd has seperation anxiety even during the day even when i need to go loo she needs to be there otherwise she cries and cries until she sees me.

She use to be able to sleep in a bouncer and now only in my arms

I will have to try the shhhh ing as at thw moment im feeding her to sleep then need to stay there.

WRT to the eczema have you tried wet wrapping to reduce the scratching? I get you with the scratching ds1 has had eczema since 4mths with only a few months break at a time (currently nearly a year since he was last clear for a while - he's nearly 4). Ds1's scratching drives me insane at times. He's never coslept so don't have advice for that side of things.

We're also currently on a high steroid (elocin I think is the spelling after trying Celestine and tri-something). I'm also using a hazelwood necklace as that's supposed to help (although I'm not sure the first supplier I tried has been super successful; about to try a new supplier to see how that goes)

Hi leckert the eczema is on her face and i have tried cold compression but not wet sressing yet

Currently using dermaid 1%
Have tried many other.

Yes have heard of elocon but doc wants me tontry advantan next?

Currently drenching her in cocunut oil too

Google 8 month sleep regression.

She is going through an intense period of brain development and will get better. I would honestly try and run with it because its very hard to get a cosleeping baby to sleep independently unless they're ready.

I would try and put her down in a pram or something near you when you have dinner. Or get dinner served in bed lol.

Does your other child cosleep too? Both mine sleep with me and go to bed at 7ish. They roll in and snuggle each other so I am able to escape after feeding ds to sleep. He did go through a phase where he would come looking for me after an hour or so, but it didn't last long (two weeks or so).

Good luck! It's hard when you feel like you have nothing left to give.

Also wanted to say ds has only just started sleeping through at 2 and that's because I night weaned him.

Also I find getting up straight after feeding them off to sleep is easier. The longer I linger the harder it is to move without then noticing.

Yep both girls cosleep with me. Unfort both are bed hoggers lol so i usually have to sleep in the middle to avoid the big girl kicking the little one.

Off to google sleep regression as i am hoping there is some explanation.