My third and final birth

On the evening of Thursday 9 May I noticed I was having a few pains. I still had 10 days to go until my due date (19 May) so I didn’t think it was labour, but it was enough for me to think that Baby was probably not going to make it to its due date. The next morning I texted my waxing lady to see if I could change my appointment, which was booked for the following Tuesday, saying I didn’t think Baby was going to stay put until Tuesday. Unfortunately she couldn’t get me in any sooner, so I decided to stick with my original appointment and see how I went.

Then on Sunday 12 May (Mother’s Day), exactly 1 week before my due date, I was lying in bed when my waters broke at 5.45 am (as I farted!). I quickly jumped up and put a pad on, but the waters weren’t leaking too much at that stage so I went back to bed. I only lasted half an hour or so, then decided I’d better get up as they were still leaking and I didn’t want to ruin the bed!

As I hadn’t had my waxing done yet, when I got up I decided to epilady my legs. DH came staggering into the bathroom to ask what I was doing – he didn’t know what was going on. I told him I was doing my legs cos it looked like we were going to have a baby today. His response was that it was just Braxton Hicks. ‘Maybe,’ I replied, ‘But my waters have definitely broken!’

Anyway, DH went back to bed, and I continued on with my legs and then had a shower. I had had a couple of contractions by this stage but they were no worse than the pre-labour pains I had been having for a few days, so I wasn’t in any rush. However, as it was Mother’s Day I wanted to get myself organised so I could enjoy some time with the kids before I had to go into hospital. My midwife, Jane, had said at my last appointment that if my waters broke I would have to go in to get checked out, so even though I was hoping I wasn’t going to have to do that, I wanted to be prepared.

I finally rang Jane at about 8.30 and she said that we should come in for monitoring, even though the waters were clear. I told her we were just going to have breakfast and we would be there in about an hour to an hour and a half.

At around 10.30, DH, DS, DD and I all trekked of to the hospital for some monitoring. First Jane checked me out – my blood pressure and everything were fine, but Baby was still reasonably high. This made her a bit worried about the possibility of a prolapsed cord. She decided to do the ECG and wait for a few contractions to see if they made Baby move down. After about half an hour or so on the monitor I had had a few more contractions (which still weren’t really any more painful than bad period pain). Baby was happy enough, so off went the monitors. Jane checked Baby’s position again and got another midwife to check too, and they decided that it had moved down enough that I could go home, under strict instructions to call an ambulance if things changed and I felt a cord. Jane also took a swab to check for GBS, but said we wouldn’t have the results back for a few days.

While all this was going on I had been in contact with Mum and my sister (Jo) to decide what to do about lunch. We were supposed to go to Mum & Dad’s house, but decided that it was probably a bit silly going all the way there, so we changed the venue to Jo’s house. This was a good decision in the end!

We went home and packed the last few things we needed (not even getting the kids out of the car) and headed off to Jo’s house. We arrived there at midday. By this time I was having fairly regular contractions but they were still not too painful. I downloaded a contraction timer on my phone and started timing at about 12.15 – at this point they were about 5–7 minutes apart (like with DD, they never got regular enough that I could count in to them or anything).

Mum, Dad and Bryce (my brother) finally arrived, all very excited. Dad asked how I was going and, as I was in the middle of a contraction, I told him I would be a lot better in a minute. He got a bit worried then and kept saying I should go to the hospital. At this point I was still happy being in the same room as other people and just breathing through the contractions, so I didn’t feel that I needed to go in yet. I got my BIL and Mum to take some photos of the 4 of us as a family – my last ever ‘pregnant belly’ shots!

By about 1 pm the contractions were down to 3–4 minutes apart and getting stronger. They were lasting between 45 seconds and a minute. I was breathing very strongly through them, and trying to find something else to focus on during each one (I would pick a point in the middle distance and just stare very hard!). By now I was disappearing into another room during each contraction, and feeling like it was almost time to go. I was just waiting for the kids to finish eating their lunch so we could give Nan her Mother’s Day presents and then I was ready to go.
Finally the presents were done and I didn’t waste any more time, telling DH that it was time to go. DD was a bit upset to see me go, so I got a bit teary too. Once I was in the car I rang Jane to say we were on our way back again – she didn’t keep me chatting until I had a contraction, just said ok. I then rang Shona (our student midwife) to say we were on our way to the hospital, so she said she would meet us there in about half an hour. I had a couple of contractions in the car, but they were bearable. cDH dropped me off at the door with my suitcase and I waited in the lobby for him while he went to park the car. I found a spot where I had a bit of privacy, then noticed Jane walking past on her way back to the ward. She must have had a sixth sense cos she turned around and saw me and came back to wait with me. I had a contraction down there, another halfway up to the ward and another just as we were arriving in the birth suite (a nice big, double room). I had said in the car on the way to the hospital that if I had been at home rather than at Jo’s house I probably would have stayed home a bit longer. But by the time I arrived in the birth suite I knew that I wouldn’t have lasted more than a couple more contractions at home. Maybe it was just knowing that now I was at the hospital I could let go, but they were now coming hard and fast.

The room we were in was quite warm, so I immediately stripped off my pants and laboured in just my top and undies (with my top pulled up past my belly). I had told DH as we were walking up from the lobby that I thought I was going to put him to more use this time as my back was quite sore. So he did a great job of putting pressure (a lot of it – he was pressing very hard!) on my lower back during each contraction.

Like my labour with DD, I spent most of the time standing leaning over a dinner tray, drumming my fingers on the tray and ‘ahhing’ or making whatever other noise worked for me at the time. At first I would stay there between each contraction – I remember looking up after one and realising that Shona had arrived without me even noticing.

At one stage I had to lie down on the bed (I can’t remember why) and a contraction started as Jane finished whatever she was doing (it wasn’t an internal, as I didn’t have any of those). Jane asked if I wanted to get up and I said I would just stay there now that the contraction had started. Big mistake! Halfway through I was yelling, ‘Get me up, get me up’, as the pain was so much worse when lying down!

At some stage about now Jane asked if I would like to try water injections. I had heard they are good for back pain, but hadn’t really realised that my back pain was sufficient to warrant something like that (I was still having plenty of pain at the front too). Jane asked DH, ‘You’re pushing quite hard, aren’t you?’ (against my back) and DH agreed, saying he had to change hands as his was getting sore. So we decided to do the injections. They had me leaning over the dinner tray, which was pushed against the end of the bed, with DH sitting on the end of the bed on the other side of the dinner tray, holding my arms. Two other midwives came in to do the injections; they did 2 needles each, all at once. Jane warned me that it would hurt – like 50 bull ant bites all at once, she said. And boy was she right – it hurt!!!!! I screamed louder then than when the baby was actually born. But, as Jane had promised, the pain only lasted for 30 seconds, and then it was over. And so was my back pain! In fact, the next couple of contractions seemed relatively easy compared to what they had been. I got worried that maybe things weren’t as far along as I had thought, and even said I thought Jane might send me home now. I asked her if she would do an internal to see where I was at. She agreed, then disappeared for a few minutes. When she came back she suggested we wait a while, as sometimes babies turn if you lie down on the bed. I said ok, but I think we agreed that she would do one if I hadn’t had the baby by the time I had been at the hospital for 2 hours.

After a while I was getting tired standing up so I would sit down on a chair in between contractions, close my eyes and just zone out. Each time a contraction started I would think, ‘That’s not so bad if I sit here, maybe I’ll just stay here,’ but each time I got up and leaned over that tray as I knew that if I stayed sitting it would be a whole lot worse! DH had remembered to put my music on this time, so I had Norah Jones playing in the background. Shona stayed in the room the whole time, not doing much, just being there, and Jane was in and out. She did say to make sure I told her when the baby was coming! DH was still sitting on the bed where he had been for the injections, so he would rub my arms during a contraction, which was quite comforting. Eventually though, I remember him rubbing up more near my shoulders and I had to ask him to stop – that was too much for me.

I had been unconsciously standing on my tiptoes during contractions, probably in an effort to get away from the pain! Jane told me to bend my knees and sway my hips, so I tried doing that. It didn’t really feel comfortable though – I felt like me legs needed to be wider apart. About now I thought I could feel the baby moving down a bit, which is probably why I wanted more space between my legs.

So I asked Jane whether, if I moved on to the bed, there would still be something I could drum my fingers on. She suggested that I get on the bed facing backwards and kneel over a beanbag, then I could drum my fingers on the headboard. Sounded good to me. So they got that set up and I moved on to the bed. It was great! I was kneeling on the bed, leaning over a bean bag and drumming my fingers against the headboard. I was able to really relax down onto the beanbag in between contractions and just straighten up during them without having to move much at all. I was also able to kneel with my legs well apart, which felt great.

But it didn’t last long! I think I only had 1 or 2 contractions on the bed before I felt the baby really start to come down. My undies were still on so Jane had to help me get them off – that was difficult as Baby had already started to descend and I couldn’t move much. As with DD, I didn’t really get an urge to push – Baby just started coming all on its own. I spread my legs even more and just let it do its thing  After a couple of contractions I felt very ‘full’ – I’m not sure exactly where baby was at at this stage, but if it wasn’t crowning it was certainly very close! Jane told me not to push though, as it looked like I was going to tear. She coached me in how to use my breathing to stop from pushing and encourage Baby to come out slowly. I didn’t really feel a ring of fire, just very stretched and like I wanted to push to get it out, but I managed to listen to Jane and pant away for the next 2 (I think) contractions, and then the head was out! What a relief! I asked if I could see (thinking they would get me a mirror), but they said I probably couldn’t see much from that position but I could feel it. So I looked down (I could see a little of the head) and felt my baby’s head, giving it a bit of a rub.

On the next contraction I felt quite a bit of pain – I’m not sure if baby was turning or what, but getting the body out wasn’t quite as easy as I was expecting. Perhaps the shoulders took a bit of effort. I’m not sure whether it came out on that contraction or the one after, but it didn’t take long and the relief when it did was amazing!

Shona caught Baby and I immediately sat back on my heels and was given my new baby to hold. After a few seconds I remembered to look –we had another boy! He was very placid and didn’t cry straight away, so the midwives blew on his face and jiggled his limbs around a little to make sure he was ok. After a minute or so he let out a bit of a cry, but quickly stopped. After a quick cuddle I gave Baby to DH while someone helped me take my top and bra off and turn around. I then settled in on the bed with the baby, who was very alert and ready for a feed quite quickly. I had said that I wanted to do delayed cord clamping, which is usually accompanied by an unmanaged 3rd stage. After about 20 minutes or so I got sick of waiting though, and got them to give me the injection for the placenta. It took a few good pushes from me, but eventually that was done and I got on with enjoying our baby.

It took us a few minutes to announce his name this time – I had warned the midwives that if it was a boy we might have to get their opinions, as we could not decide between 2 names. In the end, DH and I were both leaning the same way, and K a d e B r a d l e y was introduced. Eventually we remembered that there were a lot of people hanging out for some news, so I phoned Mum and told the kids that they had a little brother. Poor DS had been sure we were having a girl and was a little disappointed (in fact, when he came to visit we had to show him Kade’s doodle to prove that it was a boy!), but by the next day he was totally in love with his brother! I also called Kim, my other sister, (who was in Perth), and DH called his Mum and Dad.

After feeding for quite a while and having some great skin to skin time with Mum, it was time for Kade to go to Dad for some more skin to skin while I got stitched up. I remember this hurting a lot with DD, so they gave me some gas this time and I sucked away on that. It turns out it’s not the actual stitching that hurts – it’s the local anaesthetic they give you!

Not long after the stitching was complete, DS, DD, Mum, Dad, Bryce, Jo and Heidi arrived for a visit (this was at about 5.30 pm I think). Things got a bit chaotic again as there were lots of people there (like after DD was born), but at least this time I had finished feeding and DH and I had both had a good cuddle before everyone arrived. Kade was weighed while they were all there. Everyone thought he looked pretty big and most people guessed he would be over 8 pounds, but he was 7 pounds 13 ounces. My biggest baby, but not by a lot.

After they all left DH was asked whether he was going to stay the night. We hadn’t expected him to be able to, but jumped at the chance. He went home quickly to feed the animals and I was shown to the room where we would be staying the night. It wasn’t very busy so we were put in another one of the rooms that doubles as a birth suite.

Our first night was great. Kade slept like a champ, although DH and I didn’t get much sleep. I tried to feed Kade at midnight but he wasn’t interested, so the midwife said to try again at 3 am. At about 3.30 I realised what the time was and tried again – still no luck. So the midwife came in and helped me to express into a syringe and then she syringed that into Kade’s mouth. After getting the taste for it, he then fed on one side and went back to sleep.

Jane was off work the next day so her back-up, Heather, was there for us. She asked when we were expecting to go home and we said this morning if possible, so she got started on the paperwork. While that was being prepared, Kade’s hearing test was done. The results were inconclusive, probably due to him being so new still, so we had to go back a couple of days later (he passed the second test). Soon enough Heather had all the paperwork done. Mum had brought DS and DD in again, so we all left as a family and went straight to the big kids’ swimming lesson!

It turns out that I was GBS positive, but the results didn’t come in until after I was discharged. The paediatricians decided that we didn’t need to be readmitted, but I had to keep an eye on Kade to make sure he didn’t get sick. So if we had waited a bit longer to be discharged, we would have ended up staying for 48 hours – I’m glad that didn’t happen. And Kade was fine! He did get a bit of jaundice, but that wasn’t related and is very normal.

As for the stats:
Waters broke at 5.45 am
Labour officially started at 11.30 am (we decided that was about when my contractions became regular)
Born 3.34 pm
First stage: 3 hours 52 minutes
Second stage: 12 minutes
Third stage: 21 minutes
Weight: 3.54 kg (7 pound 13 ounces)
Length: 52 cm
Head circ.: 34 cm
Apgars: 8 and 9