4 month sleep regression/ wonder week

I just need a pep talk to get me through this, its been going since week 15, DD is going on 19weeks old now and I feel like this wonder week has been going fooooreeevvver.

I have always been relaxed about her sleeping etc, we demand BF, feed to sleep, have her next to the bed at night and feed in bed overnight ( can't co sleep fulltime as DH not comfortable with it due to an incident in his family's past) and I am happy to do what works to get through phases. I'm just getting tired and losing my nerve that I am doing the 'right thing' even though I know there isn't such a thing.

Currently day naps are terrible, she has stopped sleeping in her cot, can look really asleep but will wake the second she hits the cot, so I either drive her around for a sleep, walk in the pram or she sleeps on me after feeding. Nights have always been reasonably easy to get her to sleep then she would BF every 2-4 hours overnight, which was acceptable to me. This week she has been really difficult to get to sleep and I'm worried she is overtired from not sleeping well during the day, also feeding 2 hourly overnight and I'm finding this tiring due to the no down time during the day!

I know all this will change and am happy to go with the flow, just need some stories of how you got through it or words of encouragement to keep me going ( and if you want to look in your crystal ball and tell me when it will end you are more than welcome!)

Hi Saffy, we are just ahead of you, with DS at around 20 weeks now. I think you will find that the wonderweek your bubs is going through does go for about three-four weeks, with two phases in it (I only have the Wonder Week app which tells you a bit about each wonder week, not the book). Sleeping for my DS has been really variable over the past weeks, but having said that, he never really has been in any sort of pattern (definitely no sleeping through in this house!!). My DS also has not been feeding well due to maximum distraction from DD (he can't take his eyes off her), so any additional feeds at night I have been attributing to lack of/short day feeds. This is the age when distraction really kicks in- has your DD been feeding okay during the day?
I can report that the last couple of days have been very sunny for DS- lots and lots of smiling, and wanting to sleep a lot during both the day and night so hopefully your sunny week is just around the corner!

thanks nicnac, had a better night last night ( even got a 3 hour straight sleep at one point woohoo) so feeling a bit better, I think I was having a mild panic that the difficult to get to sleep night and day then 2 hourly feeds overnight was here to stay, usually have one bad night a week but had 3 in a row this week.

Interesting about the 2 stage wonder week, (I don't have the app or the book, just googled), because I think she has just gone past what must have been the first stage, she isn't clingy anymore and can entertain herself for a while again, and definately noticed a few new skills with her dexterity this week, so hopefully the 2nd stage will pass soon too.

I had thought about the feeding a few days ago, she pretty much feeds a lot during the day ( the longest she would go without any bf would be 2.5hrs, but thats unsual) but I think when she was getting distracted and not taking the 2nd side, I would forget to offer it again, so she would end up snacking here and there, so I have been trying to make sure she has both sides- and yes it is a constant battle to keep their mind on the job lol

Thanks for your reply- nice to hear your DS is going great guns, cute about the looking at DD all the time too!

It's a long one that WW. We are in the sunny phase afterwards (21 weeks) but sleep is still a bit hit and miss. I persist with day sleeps and try to get him to have at least 3 if not 4. As NIcnac says distraction really starts to kick in now, it's such a lovely age in many ways with new challenges :) . I try and get one longer sleep for him by feeding at the afternoon wake up and if he's sleepy he'll pop back to sleep in my arms if I cuddle him. I find a comfy spot on the couch if DD is asleep and try and have a nap myself. I've also tried to get a bit sleep for myself by occasionally expressing and DH does the first wake up feed so I can get a block. I didn't do this with DD but its working this time around if I can be bothered to express. I also find after a bad night I can hand DS over to DH early in the morning after a feed and put earplugs in and get another 1-2 hours before he starts work. Perhaps that's an option?
Would DH be comfortable with just you cosleeping with DD and he sleep on a mattress or couch do you can get some more zzzs?
Hang in there Saffy, this too shall pass, hopefully you can get some zzzs for yourself and DD will settle into the next phase.
I recommend getting a copy of the WW book either through your library or Internet. A godsend when you're at the end if your tether and in a WW.

Thanks for your reply Dusty ( has taken me a while to get back on a computer)

Well, things are great now ( 20 weeks), she has definately become much happier, so have I- I think I was partly the problem, freaking out about her naps and making it worse.
I am much more relaxed, her day naps are great, I realised she didn't really want to feed to sleep anymore, so we have changed to top up feed, then rocking to sleep which works easliy, and she can get a long sleep in once a day ( 2 hours sometimes)- it is still on my chest but that is fine, if that is what it takes I am happy, I just set myself up with a book or the tv. I tried putting her in the cot once when she was in a deep sleep but it was a disaster , then it took me 1/2 an hour to get her back to sleep so I won't do that again for a while.

I think I had lost confidence in being able to get her to sleep without feeding, but now i feel like i have got it in hand again. Also we had a big wedding ot attend last Monday, which I as dreading and stressed about, but it turned out to be great, DD was a hit, so happy up partying til 9pm, then slept great that night.

Nights are ok too, have implemented a new nighttime routine involving music, and its going ok. She is still feeding either 3-4 hrly on a good night or 1.5-2 hourly on a bad night, but thats fine.We had an issue with low weight gains too but I think I have that in hand now, part of the problem was her distractability plus my stress about getting her to nap and I think i let her snack a lot instead of feeding properly.

Am going to check if my ABA local library has a copy of wonder week book, otherwise normal library might do.

Thanks again for your advice, hope your DS is going well, I am in love with my DD, she is such a little honey :D

I'm glad things are going better :) we are smack in the middle of this one still.....