Emotional wreck

Yay, last night was the worst night of sleep yet. I had a really painful pelvis mixed with Braxton hicks and back pain. Not to mention the massive headache and feeling like my skin was boiling. Then I had the choice of breathing through nose, which would lead to snoring, or breathing through mouth, with swollen glands so it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades. Long story short, I don't think I had more than 1hr block of sleep all night, before having to try to get comfortable.

On another note though, I feel like an emotional wreck at the moment. One moment I'm fine, the next I'm snapping at dh or ds (for being an annoyingly clingy, tantrumy mummies boy), and the next I'm bursting in tears feeling like I can't do this anymore. I keep feeling like I just want to run away and maybe I'm not made to be a parent.

And of course second guessing myself all the time. Wondering whether its just pg related or has to do with my now untreated pnd.

And I hate cracking it with ds. But he is seriously testing me. I know it's normal 2yo behaviour. But the constant tantrums and squealing are really starting to get to me. And honestly I love that he wants me, but sometimes I want a break. And the constant need to be carried is taking its toll on my pelvis and back.

I guess I'm just writing this to get it out and to hear I'm not alone. I'm constantly trying to do the gentle parenting thing, but finding I'm failing because obviously I am just a horrible person who likes to keep my child in a constant position of submission.

I hear you hon. You're not a horrible person! I'm finding it the same at the moment. I dread hearing my dd say "mummy, I need a cuddle" because I just don't want to be touched and all she wants is constant cuddles.

Just wanted to give you one of theses :hug:

:hug: :hug: Can you get some time out, just go down to the bakery for a coffee by yourself?

Big hugs, perhaps a little bit of you time is in order?
Massage, pedicure, quiet coffee!?

:hug:

:hug: I think you are a great mummy. Its hard to be taken over by something inside us that causes us pain and then deal with outside stuff too!

Boy, you should have seen my mummy tanty earlier. As a result, my kids now have no toys. I needed to lock myself in the bathroom afterwards just to calm down and not take it out on the kids!

I found dd got more and more clingy as pg progressed and was actually a million times better once ds was born. So I think some of your stress is definitely pg related. Fwiw my 2 year old had me in years today because I'm struggling to find games he actually wants to play. I'm a sahm and dedicate my time to my kids and yet every game I try and engage him in he kicks or chucks the pieces or hits his sister etc. so I think 2 yo boys are very tricky creatures unless you're willing to run around the park all day (and who can do that while pg??)

I think so much if pregnancy is confronting these fears and tackling big emotions. I know I cry rarely as a normal person then almost daily when pg. it's just the way the hormones work for some of us.

youre not alone...im 25 weeks and i am the same..i have put it down to the hormones at the moment. DD2 is really clingy and winging and hanging of me...and i have DD41/2.....i have been ranting like a mad woman at hubby and the kids...and just about everyone around me. I am quiet angry most of the time and explosive and then teary...i feel so bad for everyone around me....

SO dont worry youre not the only one, let it out

HUGS

Thanks everyone. It's just hard coz I've always wanted to be a parent, and then it feels like so much of the time I'm failing at it. The only thing that I know I'm getting right, is the amount of love I feel for him.

It's hard to get time out to myself and don't really enjoy getting pampered as such (ie massages, manicures etc). But maybe I need to organise a night with the girls or something.

And yes my 2yo is like that too arcadia, always throwing his toys around and kicking. He's just so rough.