Sleep deprivation and the dummy

DS is nearly 19 weeks old. He's always been a poor sleeper but now he's a terrible sleeper. We introduced a dummy early on to assist with his reflux and to stop him wanting to spend 2 hours on my boobs at a time. He's now dependent on the dummy to fall asleep 90% of the time. The problem is it falls out, he wakes after one sleep cycle and doesn't fall back to sleep. Last night he was up every 45-60 minutes all night.

I can't continue like this. My entire life, DH and DD are suffering.

I'm thinking my only step is to take the dummy away and endure a few days of pure hell until he gets used to using his comforter (which he already has) instead.

Does anyone have any advice on how to do this, apart from simply sitting with him and patting him til he falls asleep? I've tried very brief periods of CIO twice and it's not something I'm comfortable with (and it only made him distressed).

Is he still swaddled/wrapped?
Ive been shown a way (similar to angel wrap) which sits high up and kind of holds the dummy in place. Another thing school school suggested was placing them on their side til asleep, with them that way, the dummy is more likely to stay in. Just make sure you move him to his back once asleep

There are lots of things you could try... Going in just before the end of a sleep cycle and popping it back in (learning to go from one cycle to the next without waking)... Helping him to find his hands so he can suck a finger or thumb (gives him independance to resettle)... scattering a dozen dummies all over the bed so it's easier for him to find one again (independance from you again)...

There are lots of stages between full-on CIO and cuddling/feeding to sleep every 40 minutes. Sitting by the bed patting, sitting by the bed not patting, patting the mattress (DS hated/hates being touched if he's falling asleep,) going in and out every few minutes, singing or quiet talking, using white noise as a sleep cue, cuddling him to quiet him before putting him down again... there are probably so many other ideas that others will suggest too.

Is he wrapped? Do you leave his arms out? At this age he probably needs a bit of freedom to move in bed, and so trying having him less wrapped might also help. (This was something we found helped a lot, we were still wrapping him at 5 months, cos he seemed to like it, and to go to sleep more easily to start with. But when we started putting him in the light sleeping bag with his arms out, he started to re-settle himself much better.)

But if you call Ngala (I see your location is WA), they will be able to give you some much better ideas - I have always found them to be excellent, especially for specific sleep issues like this. Just call the helpline and ask to speak with someone for some advice.

Thanks girls. He's in a sleeping bag, has been for about a month since he started rolling. In planning to call Ngala today if I get a chance.
Lots of good suggestions though xx

Can you take the dummy out once he's dropped off, so he's not constantly sucking? If you can pop it in as soon as he stirs, he might drop off again.

As for helping with self settling, I started with patting to sleep (through his nappy). As he got sleepier, I'd slow the pats. Slowly weaned off that to patting the mattress, slowing that down. Or one nappy pat, one mattress pat. The pats would get further away on the mattress too. At the same time I'd do long shhhhh's, then wean off the pats and just do the shhhhing. Then I'd move away a step, until eventually it was just a few shhh's and standing at the door. Long term, I could settle, then walk away, or stand at the door a minute or two (which is what we do now, at just over three). But DS still had a dummy to get to sleep until he was 2 1/2 (I'd remove it once he was asleep) and his blankie (he has two, which are his best buddies, even now!).

HTH