Gentle Parenting wins - when others recognise your success's and effort
Today DH took DD for her first childcare transition visit. DS (4) has been going to the same centre for over three years so they know us well. DD had a lovely visit, was content to explore and leave Dad without a fuss, as she is a happy little soul went up to many of the carers for a cuddle even though she's only seen them from afar during DSs drop offs/pickups etc. One of our carers commented that we were very lucky to have not one but two happy and easygoing kids.
I agree with her, but it's not all luck :) And although I do think that a baby is already born with some personality traits etc ingrained, lots are learned - observations as they grow, stress or lack there off as they develop, and how well they are nurtured.
It made me feel really proud as we have always been gentle parents, we won't let our children cry, we always comfort and let them know we are here to love and support them. Yes we are very flawed and always learning, sometimes we yell, get frustrated and make silly decisions we regret in hindsight, but overall we invest lots of time and love in our kids, our world really revolves around them and we are with them as much as possible (work excepted).
Our kids are far from perfect. DS forgets his manners, has his whiney moments and is ungrateful at times. DD is feisty, a bugger to get to sleep sometimes and can scream the house down when we perform the indignity of changing her clothes or dress her after a bath (you'd swear we were killing her). However they are both happy, content and easy kids, they each have their unique personality which we love, they are good eaters, and are decent sleepers (as babies and kids go). They are loving and cuddly, adore each other and us, and we are so super proud of the little people they are.. DS is kind and thoughtful, he is always telling people how much he loves them, and how much he loves playing with them/seeing them/doing stuff with them. He gives cuddles freely to those he loves, and he has a wonderful sense of fairness and integrity - he always tries his best, and if things don't work out says "Never mind, it doesn't matter", nothing seems to bother him much, he's pretty carefree (ok, except his massive fear of dogs!!). He has many friends at childcare because he is lovely and easy to be around. He never hits or lashes out as we have never tolerated any kind of physical behaviour. Even at four he genuinely understands to treat others how he likes to be treated. DD is cheeky, but already knows when she is being a goose and graciously hands things over she shouldn't have. She knows how to laugh and is going to have a wonderful life, as she will always make things fun, for her and everyone around her. She is curious and clever and loves loves loves to dance. She reminds me of that saying "Dance like no-one is watching" - cos she does, with wild abandon and lots of giggles...
I'm so proud of my kids, and frankly I'm really proud of DH and I too. We are constantly exhausted trying to juggle our family, work, friends, extended family etc etc, but it's nice to have these moments - when you realise that it's all worth it. I've always believed that investing time in children is so so important to their emotional growth and development, and let's be honest, it sucks the life out of you sometimes.
But Heck it's worth it!.... and the occasional validation that you are raising good people is so lovely and appreciated.
So go tell a parent you respect how awesome their kids are - you will make them stand taller and feel great (and maybe wash away a bit of that exhaustion while they bask in a glow for a little while :) )
