Speak up or leave it be?

I have a sister that's older then me (10 years). We have never been best friends, there's no real sisterly bond, she's not one I call a 'friend'. She's simply, just a family member.

Anyhow, growing up my parents separated a few times, the second incident I went to live with her as my dad didn't know what to do and he had work. Things were great and I loved it. Parents got back together and I went back home.

Fast forward to 2001 and an incident happened with my BIL that I was involved in, my sister didn't believe what happened (police and court involved) and I was pushed from her life + her children. It took many years for the communication to be restored.

2005 I was engaged and she became a bit closer. I then fell pg with DD1 and she was supportive and things were great.

I fell pg with my 2nd and she lost the plot again at me, said I was an unfit mother, don't think of my DD, should have used contraception... You get the drift?!

Pregnancy #3 and things were still no better. Once DS arrived things changed and we began talking again.

Up until end of May this year, things have been good. DH and I set a date for our wedding and I let her know so she could get the night off work...

Thats when poop hit the fan, again. I was questioned over why that date, not enough notice, to hard as it was school holidays.... The excuses and argument continued. Still, I sent her an invitation. I got a simple text from her saying they (her, BIL and kids) wouldn't be attending. I replied with a thank you for letting me know.

I've not heard from her since! She used to always comment of Facebook photos, status updates etc, and now, not a word. She's always online and commenting on others things, very close to my parents as well. She would often SMS too.

Soooo, do I contact her and ask wtf is going on, or do I simply forget it and continue on with my life and forget what ever it is that's going on?

Do you really need her aggravation?

I would forget it and continue on with your life...she obviously has issues with something but you should be concentrating on your upcoming wedding and not letting others bring you down.

Have a wonderful wedding and enjoy!!!

Don't let her get to you!!

Do you want the relationship to just drift off? Or do you want to try and make a mends?

I have family that I will never be close to, but I don't care that they go through phases of talking or not talking to me..

I am not sure how to put a lot of what I am trying to say into words, but I will come back when I have more time..

Dinky - thank you, we got married mid July and its been wonderful.

Doing my best - she seems so up and down, I don't know what I've done wrong for her to turn this way. I guess it's no loss if she never speaks to me again, but I hate not knowing what her problem with me is all about

Personally, I would continue to seek a relationship with her. She's family. Yes, her behaviour sounds pretty odd, but then I'm sure no one is 100% perfect in family relationships.

I think it is very sad when close family relationships break down (I know there are times when this is unavoidable/advisable for the family).

Don't let it bug you but don't cut her off entirely either.

Hope this helps.

Hello, i would contact her and ask what her problem is, does she really expect you to organise your whole wedding around her?! Sound like she is just looking for an excuse for an argument! Why is it too hard being school holidays? I thought that would be easier if anything?? And even if she is annoyed for whatever reason, that is still no excuse to just cut you off completely! You can disagree without being nasty or not speaking to someone and facebook just makes everything so petty! If she can't get over it, is it really worth making the effort? I know she is family but you both have to make the effort, not just one person...good luck! xxxxxxxx

It's worth trying up talk to her to find out why she was so upset about the date and didnt come. It sounds like you want to try and make it work, explain that you have missed her and want to talk about it hopefully she will open up and talk to you.