Starting to despair. How can I do this?

We are currently looking for Family Day Care for my DD who is 11 months old tomorrow.
As some of you may have read in my other thread,(/tell-me-your-positive-stories-family-day-care-) we saw 2 educators today. the first one was a no, and the other one would be good, but I'm not rapped about all the plastic toys she has and their was a lack of things for the children to do. She was lovely and gentle and was ok with my tears. But is good ok and enough?

The FDC coordinator gave me 2 more names reluctantly, and I'm staring to despair that we will ever find someone just right for DD and for us.

How can I do this??? How can I leave my baby girl with someone when it should be me that looks after her and nurtures her and loves and cares for her???

How have you managed your feelings around this type of issue? I feel I'm grieving already. How can I make peace with this change? Will I ever stop sobbing and feeling terrible about needing to go back to work?

I have no advice I'm sorry but wanted to give you big hugs xx

Oh and tell you I felt exactly the same when we were looking a centers. More hugs x