DD2 being spoken to by Acting Principal

DD12 has been bullied by a girl at school on and off for the past 2yrs. The school have always been great, always had contact with her teachers and principal, we all worked together. For the past 5mths there have been no problems up until 2wks ago. Then on Monday there was another incident which really upset DD, she was in tears as soon as she got in the car after school. So Tuesday morning, as I've always done in the past spoke to her teacher as I don't want things to escalate, I just want DD to enjoy and have happy memories of her last year in primary school. Both of the girls were spoken to by the social worker who has been working with them over this time. The mum of the other girl made a complaint to the Acting Principal yesterday and this morning DD was called up to his office. He made her feel like she was bullying the other girl, he has no idea of the history (our Principal is on holidays and he is normally the IT teacher). He told her he hates liars especially when they lie to his face, so she feels he doesn't believe her, she was then crying in his office. The question he asked her next is what really upset her "how would you feel if (girl) died because of your bullying"? I'm just feeling so upset for DD that he made her feel this bad after everything she's been through.

Regards,
Dianne

O.M.G. this is beyond terrible. The AP has absolutely no friggen idea. I feel so upset for your DD. I hope that when the Principal returns it gets sorted out quick smart. Are you considering speaking to the AP about it in the meantime?

This is my problem, tomorrow is the last day of term, will have to wait two weeks to speak to the principal. I would like to let DD's teacher know and will speak to the Vice Principal who is DD5's teacher. I really want to talk to the AP to let him know just how much he has upset DD but to be honest I think I would burst into tears, maybe I'll ring him, really unsure.

Regards,
Dianne

That is awful the poor thing. Huge hugs to your DD. I would ring and speak to AP as that is not fair at all, how would he feel if his comments caused your DD to do something.

Massive hugs xoxo

I think it would help to call the AP and discuss the situation with him. If you already have social workers etc on it, then his comments could be very detrimentsl. It may also be good to get his perspective. There will be a reason the other mother called him.

i hope you can work it out.

Having been in a simmlar situation to your DD2 (but wasnt told i was bullying but told to suck it up and do what ever to fit in) and was blamed for being picked on.

Tomorrow i'd go and see the AP, and suggest that he needs to talk to your DD and about what HE said to her and she was being picked on by this other girl and perhaps remind him that SHE (mening your DD2) was already upset about the original incident and suggesting a child "die" from her "bullying" was beyond any thing he should have said as the implications of that would go alot further then his bloody office. you're doing a good job of helping your DD2 and his words may mean she's worried that she'll cop the blame if anything else happens eather at primary school or high school. if he brushes it off when the princeable gets back bring it up with him - perhaps get your DD2 to write down what happend and what was said and maybe request a meeting with the other girls mum to talk about whats been happening to see if you can sort it out with her DD in mind to?

That is terrible! Obviously you need to feel comfortable if you do talk to the acting Prin, but I reckon if you cry then he should just suck it up! It is possible that your DD does not recall the exact words he said, and maybe she up has interpreted in a different way to exactly what he said, but nevertheless, it sounds bad, and he would deserve you to be there having a go at him and bursting into tears! He will probabky deny it though...

oculd you speak to the social work first and get the tears out of your system, then talk to him?? If you do talk to him might be best to tak about how you are not happy with your daugheter being made to feel like bully, and it would have bed better if he investigated it without judging. You could also write a letter saying you are too upset to talk about this, but are very unhappy, send a copy to him and a copy to the principal when they return (so it does not get lost!)

your poor DD :hug:

I think you def need to address it. Your poor dd! I'd perhaps try to take the emotion out of it. Tell him it has been a long standing, ongoing issue which the social worker and class teacher are aware of. Tell him the steps taken in the past and what had already happened in this case. Then tell him that his words have actually further victimized your dd and given strength to her bully. Then ask what he intends to do about it and that you intend to follow up with social worker and principal (on his return).
Let social work know so dd can get extra support. Poor thing. I loath people who don't get the full story and then belittle children

I went in this morning and spoke to the AP. He assured me he didn't say it the way DD has told me. He said he went through the effects that bullying can have on a person ie. body image, suicide. He also told me he knows of their history and that the school does not tolerate bullying. I then asked why my daughter has been tolerating this bullying for the past 2yrs and what is now going to be done to stop it, as I've always co-operated with the school and DD has done and continues to do what she has been told. He said "I don't know" that's when I said "do I need to take this to the Education Department?" I will ask DD again today but she seemed certain about the way he said it to her. I will definately be telling the Principal when she returns, then take it from there.

Regards,
Dianne

Question is: why was he saying those things to your dd anyway when she is the victim, not the bully?
She knows exactly what the effects of bullying are, she's going through it!
Definitely agree to talk to principal when he gets back. Unacceptable! :(

From what DD told me and the way she feels, he certainly wasn't being impartial, I highly doubt he said the same things to the other girl. He said he knows the history but he doesn't know half of it. This girl started bullying DD5 at the begining of the year, I let DD12's teacher know that she was now starting on DD's little sister in prep, it was dealt with and there were no further problems. On Friday at the end of the day DD's teacher said to her that next term if she has any problems to let her know and she will deal with it straight away. The AP had told DD to go to him so I think the've spoken to each other and there is a plan in place. Maybe they need to start giving out agreements or detentions, what sort of AP says they don't know what to do anymore.

Regards,
Dianne

This just doesn't end, DD12 had another incident this week, her and here friend were told by the same girl to "go such a d**k". DD told her teacher who even wrote a note in her diary saying she's spoken to the principal and this matter will be taken seriously. DD tells me last night that the girls involved were spoken to by the principal, girl denies saying what she did and her friend said she didn't hear anything. All of the girls were given warnings, including DD and her friend. So this girl can speak to my daughter like this and gets away with a warning, after receiving many other warnings in the past. I went into speak to the principal this morning but she was in a meeting and will call me back. I have written a list of things to say and will let her know that I'm left with no choice but to ring the Education Department, which I already told the Acting Principal in our last meeting. DD has 2 months left of school and I will not stand back and let her suffer anymore. So frustrated right now, thanks for listening.

Regards,
Dianne

Dianne,

I feel for you, I really do. I have been in your situation with my middle DD, and it is the hardest thing to deal with. Especially when the school is obviously not taking it seriously and letting the bully rule! Do they not have a bullying prevention system? Do they have a bullying policy? It is totally not fair that your DD is getting told off as well, she is the victim in this! They did the same to my DD! It happened over a number of years and because the school would not take it seriously I did contact the education department, always do it in writing, that way you have a paper trail and it take the emotional side out of it, its not your word against them. I always contacted the principal via email, and then cc'd to the education department. It needs to be dealt with properly! Good luck!!

:hug: only you can advocate for your daughter x