Controlling anxiety... I'm losing the battle...

I'm 10.5 weeks pregnant and my anxiety is completely out of control, it feels all consuming and I'm not sure how to control it - or if that's possible?

I have two beautiful heathy boys and enjoyed relatively easy pregnancies with both. I'm just...haunted by my loss in between my boys. I think it's because I was so blind sided by it. I went to my 11 week OB appointment and was told by baby had died. No heart beat and only measuring 8.5 weeks. My baby had died weeks before and I didn't know. I had no experience with major grief or loss in my life and I just fell apart. I know this is not an unusual occurrence and so many have suffered far more devestating losses...

I'm feeling that all over again now. I'm so afraid of what is going to happen at my appointment on Tuesday. I have been a mess for weeks, I have taken time off work, I'm struggling to care for my boys beyond the basics (although my DH has stepped up amazingly) I'm exhausted, but can't sleep at night. I cry all the time and I'm not able to interact with the world in my usual ways... I feel completely out of control.

I know there are no easy answers and feeling this way won't change the outcome. I just really needed to let it all out. There aren't people in my real life who know what I'm feeling...

That must have been awful :hug: and this feeling must feel awful all over again! Can you book into the GP and organise a mental health care plan to get a referral to a psych to chat it through perhaps???

No other advice, I just wanted you to know we are here for you x :comfort:

Amaunet. X

I would feel like that too I suspect. We rely on our bodies to tell us if something is wrong but of course it doesn't always happen like that. I wish I could say something helpful, but I can't really, I just wanted to say hello and I'm here.

I have woken up this morning feeling exactly the same after a nightmare I had last night where I saw my ob. for fridays appointment and baby had died.. pretty much exactly what I went through with my last pregnancy.
It is so haunting isnt it seeing that screen with a baby thats not moving... all I can picture is my obs head looking down at me saying 'im sorry I cant find a heartbeat'. And as friday gets closer that image is just playing over and over in my head.
I, like you, am going crazy and just want it to stop!
All I can think of is organising something for my mental health... like a healing.. or maybe some hypnotherapy. After my last m/c I saw a shamanic healer and a crystal healer and it really helped, I also saw a hypnotherapist a few weeks ago when I was around 5 weeks pregnant, I mainly got him to focus on helping me to stop worrying about seeing blood everytime I wipe, that also helped a lot but I do feel like I need to see him again to help drum it into my head that this journey isnt like the last, its all new.

Maybe thats what you need to do today... look up a hypnotherapist and make an appointment for this afternoon. Get help through your subconscious. This post of urs has helped me to wanna do something too.. instead of just laying on the couch freaking out until friday.

Sorry I cant be more help, just know I understand!! xx

:hug: Anxiety is awful but can be controlled, there are a few things that helped me which were seeing a psychologist to talk through all my catastrophic "what if" thoughts with and to come up with some strategies to cope with, all of which I still use on almost a daily basis. I was under a mental health care plan and got 10 sessions free in a year. I also find exercising and eating well helps alot, sounds trite but it helps me. Even a daily walk for 20 mins can clear my head and make me feel better.

A miscarriage unfortunately causes lots of stress too and I don't think it's ever possible to go back to that time when you don't know what it's like ITMS, and every pregnancy is different. Passing those milestones like 11 weeks will ease things off a bit too and until then I would try to find someone who you could talk to, your middies or caregivers might be able to refer you if you let them know how you are feeling. :hug: Know you aren't alone, lots of people on here have had both a m/x and anxiety and at times both and can help too xoxox

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling like this, and that this pregnancy is triggering pain from your previous experience :hug:. I just wanted to pop in and say, please talk to someone. If it's hard to a friend/family member, then chat to your GP or your OB. Get a mental health plan, see a counsellor who specialises with anxiety, PND, or grief and loss. You deserve to be well supported. xxx

I agree talking to your GP is a good start. They can set you up with a counsellor and even prescribe anti-anxiety medications that you can take while pregnant if need be. xx

Thanks everyone :hug: I'm just trying to breathe deeply...

I saw a psychologist for a while after my missed mc so I think I've used up all my visits. She has also retired since then and I'm not sure I have it in me to talk to a stranger at the moment. My gp is well aware of my issues and she recommended the time off work.

I think it's my appt tomorrow that's the big stressor, I've moved it to earlier in the day and I just need to hold it together until then. I keep trying to tell myself that what will be will be. I have no control over this and I just have to breathe and let things happen. I have my plan of what to do if the news is bad....who I can call etc

Just being able to voice my anxiety has been really helpful, thank you so much for all the support. Xx

:hug: Good luck today hun and let us know how you go, we are all here for you to be "ears" if you can't physically talk to anyone else xoxox

Thinking of you today.

Amaunet how have you been? X