WWYD Re school

DD1 starts prep in 2015. I'm struggling with making a decision.

We don't know where we will be living. We know the general area that we think we 'll end up. At the moment, the furthest point is just over an hour from where we're living now. We will be living here until late 2015 at the minimum.

There are two schools that I'm interested in for primary. School A - we went to a prep session and we all were impressed. For me to get DD1 to this school, it's a 45 minute drive. So I'd be doing two 90 minute return trips every day with DD2. While both kids are good travellers, that's a lot of kilometres in a petrol sucking car and a lot to ask of DD2 day in day out. I also hate the idea of being so far away from her should she get sick/injured or an emergency happens (we're bushfire zone).

School B - Haven't looked at it yet but they do weekly prep preparing classes for their incoming students. I like what I've heard about it. It's a 15 minute drive. But when we move, then we're potentially 35-40 minutes away from her. So I have the same issues all over again but longer term.

So I guess my options are

1. Send her to school A and suck it up for a year.

2. Send her to school B and then suck it up once we move (because we may end up closer to this school than we expect)

3. Send her to school B and then move her to school A once we move. I don 't know how this will effect her with making friends etc. she's had lots of changes in her life so reluctant to make this decision.

So what would you do and why?

Wow that's a hard one!

Are you 100% sure that you'll be moving closer to school A?

If so I would be inclined to suck it up for a year and would drive the 45 mins each way, that is if you can afford the petrol etc.

I guess it also depends on how well your DD handles change and how easily she make friends. For me, I would prefer that they were settled into a school they were staying at, rather than just getting used to one place, making friends and then having to move on at the end of the year.

Tough decision! Good luck :)

Tough decision, good luck!

You know our sittuation and we will have similar issues except that we don't have any choice, DS1 will start at one school and then will have to move to another school probably in another state. However, he is a fairly easy going kid who copes really well with change.

Will your DD1 be comfortable having to change schools? If you think she'd cope then I'd put her in School B and move her to School A. If you don't think she will cope then I'd be inclined to put her in School A and travel back and forth for the year. 1 year of extra travelling is better than 6 years of extra travelling. And then what happens when DD2 starts school? Do you send her to School B as well???

3. I think closeness to school is important, travel time is really wasted time and I think is best to be at school where can develop friendships outside of school also. I think children do better with change than we give credit for and also you don't know due to where you move A may not work out best, school C might come into the picture or other things can happen.

I would do A, as long as you are sure that this is where you will end up living.

That length of driving I would personally find too much. DD1's school is a 30 minute round trip (well assuming no tractors on the road) and that is just about the maximum I like to do.

The school day can be surprisingly short, add to that "losing" so much time driving, it makes it a very short day. Also what would you do if you were sick, or DD2 sick? A shorter drive you can handle or even get a friendly school parent who lives near by to help out. Being so far away from the school, makes it harder for that network to develop.

Anything could happen in the future. Your plans could change dramatically, life can throw curve balls both good and bad. School A could start off really well, then go bad. I know myself, I loved the school for 2 years, but had major doubts at the start of this year and only just beginning to feel more positive.

I think 3 too, the school day is going to be long enough for a newbie without adding an extra 90 mins of travel in, and as you are not 100% sure where you will end up, it might work out that she may stay anyway? I'm not a big fan of wasting time in the car, but I'm a city slicker!! LOL
FWIW I went to 3 different primary schools (we moved a bit), I wasn't overly outgoing as a youngster, but made friends easily enough. Knowing your DD, I think she will make friends pretty easy too, so in the worst case scenario that she changes schools, she is likeable, nice and kind - she'll cope well. And teachers are usually very supportive in helping a new kids transition to a new environment.

We moved towns when I was in grade 2. Mum tells me how sad she felt for me with all the other kids knowing each other and me knowing no-one. But I don't remember it at all and certainly have no bad memories of it. It must have been far worse for mum! I believe children are very resilient and unless she had a specific problem with change just go to the local school now and make the decision re moving her when the time comes.
However be prepared that you also will have made friends and may not want to move!

Pak, this is ridiculously much like what I am facing right now, just with less time travel involved! We just moved much closer to one town than we ever were to the other town DS is at school in, and this is throwing out some kinder decisions, as well as DS' schooling for next year (sucking it up at current school for this year and possibly next year or the next 5 years! Limbo is not the fun it's cracked up to be).
In your case, it sounds like your last option would be the easiest to deal with as a family. Once she moves to school A then you will ALL be in a new area and making new friends, not just DD, and you will on that adventure together. Once you've moved to the final school, chances are she'll stay there till the end and have lots of time to develop security there.
Just my thinking, but if you don't have to be a long drive from school, then don't be, for the reasons you've outlined. Spending that much time in the car will affect everyone. A bus trip after a drop off locally is a different thing and country kids get used to it to get to a good school (and for some, ANY school!), but they're in it together and it's the bus driver's job. 45 mins one way is a LONG time you could be spending on other things, and money you could use on something other than fuel.
Just food for thought. I most definitely feel for you and wish there was a ready made answer. xx

I'd go with number 3.

My DS did a term of schooling in the UK before we moved back home.

When we arrived back, we couldn't move into our house for 6 months, so I drove him... 15-20 mins to the school we were going to be living near.

The driving was so so frustrating in the end. Dragging DD, feeling like id just get home from school drop off only to be getting back in the car and going back to pick him up. The fuel I was getting through was ludicrous... I never felt like I had any time with him either. We'd get home, dinner would have to start (unless I'd prepared it in between time, which then I wasn't spending time with DD).... So many things made me hate that drive.

I wanted to start as I meant to carry on with his schooling after moving from overseas and I only had to suck up that commute to school for 6 months.

He coped well changing schools (didn't think he would to be honest) from uk back to oz.... And now it's all over.

We are moving again though.... But from one street to the next, so same school and still no school driving commute, just a little walk. If I hadn't found a house where I could do that, we were going to be knocking our house over and building right where we are. My pre-requisite for buying another house was that I didn't want to have to drive to school. I won!

It's feeling like number three makes more sense than all the others. Thanks for all your replies and experiences.

Just to add my 2c. I would do number 3 as well. I hate driving at the best of times but such a long way with kids in the car in peak hour traffic is a definite turn off for me. My experience as a child was like MummyNaomi's. I changed schools mid year (even mid term) in years 2 & 5. I coped fine. Made new friends quickly and easily. I also changed schools in year 11. That was a different story. I believe children are a lot more resilient in general than we give them credit for so I'd be inclined to change schools particularly in early primary. It's a tough decision. Good luck.

Look number 3 would be best for our family, so we would do that, but I've got another body to wrangle in and out of the car and mine don't like being in the car for long periods. Yours are better in the car than mine. Option 3 probably does make most sense with car running costs, time spent in car, etc, and just in case you don't move to that other school, starting her at the first school gives her a good chance to settle and make friends.

Wonder if when you know you are moving, you could do an activity (swimming/dancing/gymnastics/sport) once a week close to the new school, where some of the kids go. Then your dd will have some local contacts after the move.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to go option 3. And you 're right - I absolutely do not want to spend all of our time together in the car because once we get home at night, it will be typical household stuff and not any quality time with her.

HotI - that's a great idea.