Being told not to do a birth plan.......

I went to a birth preparation class on the weekend and when the topic of birth plans came up the midwife told us not to write a birth plan as the midwives find it very insulting when people walk in with one particuarly if it lists things on it that they do as routine :dunno: I challenged this notion and did point out that as first time Mum's we have no idea what is routine and what isnt so wouldnt it be better to have our wishes documented and if they already do it then everyone is happy? I also stated that my birth plan is not only for the medical staff but for DH as well so if I am unable to communicate for myself he has everything listed. I am really hoping this is just the opinion of a single midwife and not the view of the hospital as I feel like if I go there with one now I may be treated differently as a result. I suppose this is where the continuity of care problem comes into it as I have a private OB so can discuss what I want with him prior to the day but the reality is he wont show up till the business end and I would have never met the midwives before at the hospital (unless I get this one who hates birth plans!.)

Would you still write one or should I just do one for DH and he can make sure my wishes are made clear if they try to deviate from what I want without good reason? I do plan on discussing this with my OB at my next appointment to see if this is a shared view.

I would still do one because the process helps you work out your priorities and have these clearly communicated to your DH. I would hope that was just one midwive's view.

Yes and see what your Ob says.

That is just bizarre. I'd say it's her that finds them 'insulting' and that speaks way more about her and her issues than it does the validity of making a birth plan.
For all the reasons you've mentioned, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You need to know that your wishes are clearly communicated to whoever is there and it allows you and DH to think through all the possible contingencies. I think my only reservation about birth 'plans' is if they become birth 'expectations'. If you hold on too tightly to how you think your birth will go, that can certainly trip you up. But having your wishes clearly stated... to me, that's just good sense!

I would still do it to, as you say its for you and your dh to know how you would like things to go not just for the midwives and obstetricians. And all midwives of things differently :)

Definitely do one. As PP say, it's good to get your wishes down on paper. I think it's presumptuous of the midwife to assume that your birth plan would only include 'routine' things - there are many preferences when labouring and giving birth that can differ from person to person. And it can be hard to remember, let alone communicate these, in the throes of labour. I know DH found it useful to refer to. Assuming that all her 'patients' want exactly the same thing is like going clothes shopping and all the clothes are the same!

Yep, I'd write one anyway. I think my birth plan is almost completely comprised of things my midwives do as "routine" but it's still helpful to have it written down. As you said, it's not just for them - it's also for everyone who *doesn't* do this every day! If I were a midwife I'd love people to bring in birth plans. It shows you've given thought to the whole process :)

Are you kidding me? The midwife said what!?

Let me start by saying, I have a huge amount of respect for midwives, but not this one. Does she not realise that it is YOUR birth and it is YOUR right to write a birth plan if you feel the need to? The midwife is there to assist in the birth of your child, and quite frankly I would have told her that I was insullted that she made such a comment, totally insensitive as far as I'm concerned.

So, yes you should write a birth plan, and you should make the midwives aware of it too.

Good luck :hug:

I kind of get the standard routine thing, I hadn't written a birth plan before I did the classes but had an idea of things I was going to request, but after the classes realised whole chunks of what I would have written were just standard practice and didn't need to be requested specifically. BUT I don't think that would equate to not writing one, I think it is still really useful, and I think the idea of it being offensive is a bit.....odd. I found that what I did write was much more concise and easily digested once the standard stuff was out the way. I would suggest meeting with a midwife and asking some very specific questions about what is standard (i.e what is the normal practice when x or y happens?) so your plan can focus on what is different or absent in their normal methods.

That is really bizarre. Our midwife educator encouraged us to write birth plans and to discuss them with each other and our Ob. We discussed with our Ob and he said exactly the same thing

I am very suspicious of anyone who is against a birth plan!

Sounds like this midwife just wants her patients docile, compliant and doing what they are told, rather than having an active role in their health care.

Maybe when pregnant and labouring women can expect their health care and any potential treatments to be undertaken in the best interests of their health and their babies health, and not just undertaken for the medico legal interests of the hospital, then a birth plan may become unneccessary.

Wow. I'd be really worried about birthing with someone who has that sort of attitude!

So I'm an 'ignorance is bliss' kind of person when it comes to labour - didn't do a birth plan last time, don't plan to this time, and just trust my OB and DH.

HOWEVER, I have never been told NOT to write a birth plan, and if a midwife ever told me she'd be offended by me doing something that is my absolute right, I'd tell her to get over herself and shove a detailed plan in her face!!

How rude!! It's your birth, your child, your life - you do whatever makes you feel comfortable and whatever eases the process for you. I'm hoping she worded it incorrectly and meant to say to try and be open minded especially since it's your first, but it doesn't sound like it.

That would be a real red flag for me.

i would be even more motivated to write it, so there was a written record of my preferences. I would be asking for the hospital view of birth plans, and also letting the hospital know what was said at the session.

Im glad im not the only one that found this strange. She definately meant it as she had a bit of a rant about it. I felt she meant it implies they dont know how to do their jobs which I dont think is the case at all. I get that some people prob go a bit over the top but I dont think that is a reason to say you are insulted by people presenting birth plans!

I think I'm still going to do one- I was planning on it being more of a guide anyway as I know birth is unpredictable and anything could happen but there are some things I would prefer if all is going well and then Ill go through it with my OB and see what he says.

What on earth?!? That would make me extremely uncomfortable! How dare she?

I can definitely understand advice about maybe not having an incredibly detailed plan or not being too freaked out if things don't go according to your 'ideal' plan but just advising people not to have any plan seems very rude and unhelpful.

Do a birth plan, then stipulate that under no circumstances you want that particular midwife in there with you and feel free to outline why this is the case. Stuff her, she has no right telling mums to be that, it can seriously undermine your strength and belief in yourself I you cannot mentally prepare yourself for labour.

Eeep! Definitely do one anyway. How the hell is she going to know what position you want to birth in if you come in in transition and can't talk? (Apart from the fact that you'd just do it) How would she know to get a ball, or a stool, or mats, or extra pillows? Or that you don't want pain relief offered? Or, or, or...what if? That is SO unprofessional.

Take it higher. For the sake of another mother who isn't as strong and as smart as you.