Ttc after miscarriage last month at 6 w 5 days and 13 chemical pregnancies

Hi everyone,

I'm posting here because I need to talk to someone. Can't post this stuff on facebook and with my closest friends pregnant at the moment, I can't talk to them either.

I'm just feeling lost. I actually fully believed this pregnancy was the one. So far it had gone as smoothly as my pregnancy with my daughter ( she's nearly 4) and nothing compared to the chemical pregnancies I have had.

Then just all of a sudden 5 days before my wedding 2 weeks ago I started bleeding, then the cramping was so bad I went to emergency. I was having a miscarriage and it was the week of our wedding. We found out it had been twins and I had a bump already and I had needed my dress altered to fit this bump.

I was discharged from hospital after 2 days. Given the choice to have either a d & c or a continue naturally. I chose to let my body do it with regular trips to my gp for checkups.

We planned to ttc straight away. I bought maybe baby gel and an ovulation kit. My bloods returned to zero over the weekend just gone. I thought I had at least another week before I ovulated. But nope I ovulated Tuesday morning. We Dtd Monday night ( unintentionally it just happened) and then last night intentionally. It was so clinical and weird.
Ive woken up this morning and ib just don't know how I feel. The line has gone almost completely off the ovulation tester so I know now if its gonna happen it has already. I just dont know how I honestly feel. I'm so scared. My hubby and I each have a daughter the same age from previous relationships and we want a baby together so desperately. I just feel like a failure. Like u should just be grateful with the girls we have and just give up.

I'm sorry for such a long post. I just dont know who else to talk to.

Mrs McAwesome I wish I could give you the biggest hug, your heartbreak comes through in your words. You are not a failure, you have done nothing wrong. Please be kind to yourself & patient while you allow yourself to grieve & heal.