Am I infertile? I'm over it. Currently CD70 & nothing... opinions & experience pls?

Hi guys.
I'm a little over things. I'm sitting here in tears. My moods are up and down, all over the place and I'm sure my partner is just as 'over it' as I am. I think the moods are just because i'm tired of playing a guessing game and getting it wrong. It's so disheartening to think you're on track and realise over and over and over again that you are not.

I've been having pretty regular cycles for a while. That is, until August when I had my last one. I'm currently on CD70 and still no sign of AF. Yes, I'm sexually active with my partner... but i can't even pinpoint an O day. I thought I had figured it out, then nothing. Then I had ewcm again and thought I must have made an error and THAT was my O day.... but nothing again. I've had seriously sore boobs for a few days, then nothing. A few cramps here and there, then nothing. More than anything I'm just fatigued and emotional. My dietary intake is impeccable as I'm a nutritional cleansing coach and personal trainer, so I've got access to the best nutrition and support in that area. I'm completely organic, not overweight and exercise daily although not excessively.

I've been having sleeping troubles lately (past two weeks or so), even though I'm feeling tired. My adrenal system is well supported with an organic supplement I use, made up of adaptagenic herbs which actually support oxidative stress and fatigue. My 100% bioavailable vitamins and minerals are specially formulated for my reproductive health. My clients and friends have all been commenting on my new 'glow'. My hair, skin and nails are regenerating at a rapid pace so I'm certainly not worried that it's anything to do with a lack of nutrients... that's clear.

Despite all this - I've just misplaced AF. Yes, I've tried HPT's.... In fact, I've done about a dozen of them (ok well, perhaps it's half a dozen.. but you get my point... I've done too many). The last time I POAS was about a week ago with another BFN. I don't know if i should waste my money on purchasing more when I honestly think there's no chance of a BFP. I have no changes in sense of smell and that's usually a big indicator for me.

I've had some days - close to my EWCM days, when my boobs are sore and sex is painful as it feels like my cervix is just copping a pounding. I mean, it really hurts. Just my cervix. Almost like i'm being punched in the stomach from the inside with every thrust (sorry for TMI). There's no infection present. It's just painful when my boobs are quite sore too. So I thought it must be that my cervix sits low on those days. It is sitting quite high now, as it has been for some time.

So what could be going on? I'm 29 - so I'm still young enough to be fertile, right?

Could anyone/everyone please share their thoughts, opinions, experience, advice etc. I feel very unsupported at the moment.

X
Thanks guys

Hi Ciara,

I am no 'TTC' expert (just went off the pill a little under a month a go- so completely new to this!) but I really wouldn't go as far as saying that you're infertile..

In my short experience I can say that this time can be really confusing, especially if it's a new chapter in your life. I can say that this is all new to me, so my sense are on full alert and if I feel something Im like "oh crap I must be pregnant" when I am probably not. Actually, I've been cramping and feeling all symptoms for over a week now but no AF so don't get me started there.

I understand your frustrations though, there rarely is an easy answer though! Our bodys, and TTC can be too confusing!! We don't really have control over the here & now and what's going on with our bodies, but we do have control over our mindset and attitude. How about trying your very best not to think about it? Shove it in the back of your mind for now! That's what I'm trying to do.. because this anxiety is making me feel even worse!

Sorry you're feeling down though Ciara, try to make time to do some nice things for yourself.. like take a bath or read a nice book :)

Stress can disrupt your cycles...if this is something that's been worrying you or consuming all your thoughts (which it sounds as if it has ;)), that can definitely be enough to disrupt your cycle and stop AF. That's part of the reason why ttc is such a roller coaster, as it's a vicious cycle.

Have you seen a doctor? Maybe a check up to see what your hormones are doing and whether you are O'ing. And to find a cause of the pain in your cervix.

Be patient and not so hard on yourself too. TTC can really mess with you. x

I'm sorry you're having such as stressful time. Perhaps it's time for a trip to the doctor to get a blood test to either see if you are UTD or if they can figure out what's going on? I've heard some people say they didnt get a BFP on a urine test until they were a fair way into their pregnancy.....

Thanks for your responses guys. It really means a lot to me.

You're all completely right, I do probably need to go and get a check up with my doctor and see what's going on. I won't be upset either way - I think it's just more upsetting with the whole not knowing.

Maryl007 - I hope your journey is a short one. And thank you for your kind words. I'm actually craving a remedial massage treatment... so perhaps that's something I should do this week.

JLeigh29 - I honestly thought that the pain in my cervix was just a result of it being low but you're right, I should see about it. My gorgeous man is so gentle cos he knows it is painful at those times, but he ends up just stopping completely cos he hates seeing me in pain.

Chody47 - I don't think I'm UTD... although I didn't think I was with the twins and that ended up being ectopic so that's why it didn't show on HPT straight away too. Grrr, I think I need to find a new, bulk billing doctor.

As awful as it sounds, I'm glad everyone seems to understand the emotional roller coaster. Almost like it's 'normal'. Not a very pretty place to be, but if it's a similar place to others, then it's somewhat comforting.

Oh yes Ciara - remedial massages are a must have! I go weekly for mine, hah! :D
I know what you mean about feeling comforted - thats why this forum is so great to share your stories and experiences, but also to read everyone else's... not one story is the same story! Everyone is going through something, and it is really nice to relate. :p

Be kind to yourself!

First of all, you're definitely not alone.

After coming off the pill I was anywhere from 60-90 days between periods. FRUSTRATING!
I went to my gp and she diagnosed me with pcos. I don't have the normal symptoms of it, but after a check my ovaries were polycystic and I was irregular.

I went into acupuncture and this helped heaps, just to fix up my body in general and I also fell pregnant after 5 months.

Definitely get the soreness checked.

The length of time between AF is generally because you aren't ovulating. I needed to kick start my body back into ovulating. I had always been irregular (30-35 days) before I went on the pill, but the pill was the worst thing for me and mucked me up more.

Exercise, healthy eating will all help as well. As my acupuncturist said "healthy mum, healthy baby". In other words you have to get your body right to conceive and then give your baby the best shot possible.

I also found when i was going through a massiv cycle I was a bit crazy because my hormones were helter skelter! So you are felling completely normal.

:hug: this roller coaster isn't fun!

Hi Ciara, first of all stop stressing! I know easier said than done. Second go to the doctor, get your hormones and ovaries checked. I have pcos but I'm on the extremes side as in no cycle what so ever but I would suggest asking your doctor because you can have it with no symptoms at all. I would also get a preg test while there! You never know!

Good luck, and def get that massage if not to relax than just cause cos you deserve it after your freak out!

Thanks Maryl007, little_O & miss kris

I booked an appointment for my GP, which is tomorrow afternoon. Not that I'm going to have any results straight up... but I've taken the first step. I'm due for a smear test so might as well kill two birds with one stone. I guess I was hoping for a quick fix / short answer but in reality the only way to know is to do all the appropriate tests.

I'm hearing PCOS more and more. What do you do to help this condition?

Your GP can refer you to a specialist and they can then do some blood tests.
They can also prescribe you something which will bring on AF, giving you a day 1 and from there your hormonal levels can be tested on the appropriate days (FSH, LH etc).

You may have polycystic ovary syndrome or elements of it without the syndrome. Get some help now before you send yourself crazy. From personal experience once you seek help it takes away part of the stress as things get checked and things get eliminated etc.

Thanks Joeve.

I went to the GP today. She said it all looked good under the hood. We did tests for infections just in case but we both think that's not likely and she saw no sign of inflammation or irritation etc. She looked back upon my PET scan results from my most recent PET scan and it showed masses in my ovaries... I'm just not sure why they didn't tell me this sooner. So I'm booked in for an ultrasound on Monday afternoon and we'll go from there. Surely if the masses were cancerous my oncology team would have picked up on that during my previous treatments so it probably is pcos. She said the pain during sex is probably due to either the masses in my ovaries or the scarring caused by the ruptured ectopic a few years ago.

I guess it's always the things you try to control that end up being the things you have the least control over.

I know it mightn't seem like great news, but it's good to get some answers. Hopefully the scan will shed some light on things so you can continue on your ttc journey knowing that you're doing everything you can.

Thanks :-)
I appreciate your support and kindness.

I just spoke with the doctor's office and all they said was the results came back abnormal and they're referring me to a specialist at the hospital.

There's a 20mm cyst in one ovary (the ovary is also 5 times its normal size), as well as 15 peripheral follicles and the other ovary is double its normal size and has 22 peripheral follicles. There's is also 30mm of free fluid and inflammation in the pelvis. But I know there's no infection present as I've had all those tests done with negative results. The big cyst has peripheral vascularity (If i'm right this means it has its own blood supply???).

I don't know enough about pcos to know what i'm looking at here, but my naturopath friend is worried about the free fluid, inflammation and the bigger cyst specifically - not so much the higher number of peripheral follicles. Because I've already been treated for lymphoma in my breast, she's concerned about the possibility of ovarian cancer... but again she admitted she also doesn't know much about pcos to know if this is normal. It just rings alarm bells for her.

So the waiting game has really just begun all over again.

Do you know much about these results?

Oh wow that's a lot for you to take in!

When can you get into the specialist?

No help with the diagnosis sorry but lots of support!

:hug:

Eta: looked up the peripheral follicles and 12 or more can be a sign of pcos. From what I was reading it can also be the cause of the enlarged ovaries. Hth

Thanks little_O. I'm not sure how long the wait to see the specialist is. I just rang the hospital to see when my next appointment with my oncologist is as I'm pretty sure that will happen sooner since I'm already booked in... but that's not til January (christmas time doesn't help). I've honestly got no idea about times for this matter, but since it will be with a gynae and not my regular team of doctors I'm thinking it could be months. I've been referring to Doctor Google for answers and I haven't found anything that links the free fluid etc... so I guess I just wait