Worried about not getting my VBAC

I've got my heart well and truly set on getting this VBAC...I'm soooo looking forward to it, have done heaps of research on what to do to give me my best chance of success etc

It has occurred to me that if something happens and I don't get my VBAC, that I'm going to be absolutely devastated. Just thinking about it makes me angry and upset. I'm worried about how I'll cope, about whether it'll affect my bonding with Bub and enjoyment of those first precious days and weeks. I'm worried that I'm so vested in getting a VBAC that I might not be able to see past it if I don't. I've done a Positive Caesarean course and made a CS birth Wish List so that I can make it an empowering, in control experience (if it comes down to it), but all that logic and preparation doesn't take away from the fact that a CS isn't at all what I want.

What do I do if I don't get my VBAC? How will I cope?

Sending you big hugs! It's hard... Coming from a cbac mum it is tough but sometimes things are just out of your control and as long as you can say you tried everything and researched all your choices than you just have to stay positive. I'm hoping for a vba2c next time round when the time comes. Never give up!!!

Thanks kitten. Logic tells me I've done all I can and that if things don't work, I'll have tried all I can. But feelings and emotions don't follow logic! DH and I had a big talk about it last night and he and I both agreed that if things don't go to plan with the VBAC that he'll help me seek some help. Looking back, we both think I had PND to a certain degree last time so we'll be on the lookout this time around. He's worried I'm putting myself under too much pressure and setting myself up for a big fall if I don't get my VBAC.

I hope you get your VBA2C next time around!

Thank-you! You too :)
You can do it Hun! Go for it!!!

how are you feeling now jleigh?

Bella - Thanks for asking. I'm actually feeling really positive about my chances. And being aware that I will need support if it doesn't happen, and knowing that DH knows this, will support me and help me get help has really helped calm me.

Not long to go now. So it's all excitement about meeting Bub and rocking my VBAC :dance:

I got to a place where I knew I had done literally everything that I could do (and that means different things for different people) to have my vbac so I knew that looking back if I had to have a c/s that I had no regrets. Did it make it any less painful and disappointing? Not really but it did take away the "what if I had done xyZ"questions because I HAD done xyZ and it still didn't happen. 5 years on life really does move on and I never think about it anymore even disappointed as I was.

Sunlovejoy - Good to hear that you have healed and are accepting of what happened. Looking back, I was very naive about birth and labour, so I do have a lot of, 'What if's?' But this time around I feel prepared, empowered and educated. I'm prepared for the possibility that things mightn't go to plan, but like you say, will know that I did everything I could along the way. And I think that will help a lot.

My first CS was a shock as I didn't really even consider it a possibility, or consider that what I did/didn't do, or what interventions I had, could impact on how I birthed. I feel like a fool to have gone into such an important event without being prepared (though at the time I felt very prepared - had read heaps about labour and birth, just not the 'what if it doesn't fit the textbook scenario' or CS parts).

Me too hun, with Iz I was totally convinced I would have a "normal" labour and birth and had my plan ready but no contingencies really and allowed myself to be induced at 9 days even though I thought it was a bit odd etc.... I had been on BB for a while but not that long to know that I could be really empowered I guess and informed to make those choices knowingly.
With DS it was totally different, I questioned and prepared for every scenario other than what if went over 14 days overdue ( I hit 14!!) but then at that point DH and I had a chat and he was really uncomfortable going longer and so the decision was made with agreement on both our parts in the end. I felt disappointed but then also I knew I had done all I could, he was 10lb and I have no idea if there were other factors there that meant I didn't go into labour naturally etc. so it was all good.

Having a realistic plan is the best thing and talking heaps to your caregivers is so important, I had a few fights, they wanted to c/s me at 9 days and I said no way jose - funny when I spoke to the next dr she said she would let me go to 14 days but that's it and I thought, well that's heaps of time he will come by then but didn't :rofl: but even that was worth it ITMS because I knew if I let them do the c/s at 9 days I would always wonder would have gone into labour at day 10,11,12?? etc. In the end I was 3 cm dilated, soft, but no contractions and nobody was willing to take the risk of waiting any longer.

Im babbling now but do what you feel YOU need to do and then accept whatever will be and that things might turn on their head but you have done all you can to prepare yourself and sometimes another C/S IS the right choice and answer for you. :hug:

My vbac turned into a cbac 6mths ago. My first was so traumatic I was terrified of another cs. I waited for natural labour, it happened at 41+6. unfortunately I had an infection which caused bub to go into distress at about the 30hr mark. What made it ok for me was knowing his cs was lifesaving. I fought hard and was still proud of my efforts.

I think feeling respected, empowered and confident during labour is really important. I was in control of what happened to my body. to me, (surprisingly) it was more about knowing I did everything in my power to achieve the vbac I wanted. if there's a next time I'll be going for a VBA2C.

good luck, I wish you all the best no matter how bub makes an exit. :)