6w old on hols

Would you do it? This time next year Stormy may be a newborn, or I may be heavily pregnant. To celebrate her 60th, my mum wants to take the family overseas, 4hr plane trip, to stay in a big villa.

DH says if that's what we do, wait a year for Stormy. Yeah, waited 7 years already, not happening.

So do I smile and say nothing, let my mum spend lots if money then find out my edd is during the hols? Tell my mum and get her to postpone, but she knows we're ttc? Fall pg straight away and get a passport for a tiny, maybe month old baby and escape the country (DH reckons I'll still be recovering from hospital: I did not laugh when he said that, as he let me know where he's planning to be for the birth, which is good to know).

What to do?

I always put the kids/ baby wanting first.
My DH missed his mums wedding because DS was only 5 weeks old. We missed a christening (planned) two funerals and goodness knows what else. I did fly at 6 months pg with SJD (ouch) for my dads 60th.

I personally would proceed with TTC with much vigour! The party plans will fit in somehow...I'm sure you'll make it work, and if you don't because of some unforeseen problem, then you'll never regret it anyway.

Yup, going to ttc.

But to tell mum or not? We're talking large sums of money. But I hadn't planned on even telling her when I did get pg.

Nope. Don't tell her. It's personal, private and very much for you.

Don't tell her you're TTC. Things will fall into place as the time draws closer.

No don't tell her. Get into TTC now!

Just to add, she's booking the v v v expensive holiday this month.

I would just go with the flow and work out what to do as you get to the time. If you are of do get pregnant then I would treat it as you would a surprise pregnancy, after all you can't really plan for when you may be due.

Although I don't wish them on you, there are many things that could happen to prevent people going on a holiday in a years time.. Illness, change of employment and can't get leave, change of relationships just to name a few.

And in my opinion, anyone who books a holiday that far in advance with the belief that it will go exactly as planned is living in a fantasy world. Might be a happy place, but still a fantasy place.. In May this year, I booked a holiday for April next year with another family member and her family. So since it is not just us to worry about, I still don't get too excited in case something happens!

I get from your past posts that you don't want family to know about the baby to well into the pregnancy if at all, so I am guessing that you really don't want to tell her, but you are feeling guilty about the money side of things.. The only thing I would consider is to hold off TTC for an additional 3 months, so you can still go providing the pregnancy is treating you well.

Definitely don't put your plans on hold. I agree with the everyone else, just go with the flow, what will be will be :)

If I were you - Stormy has been far too long in the making to wait a second longer. And having read a bit about your relationship with your mum - I say stuff her. And not a hope I would be telling her I was TTC. Stormy is far more important. I really really really look forward to that pg announcement. Good luck!

Don't overthink it, as everyone has said, proceed with your plans and if it works out, great, if not, at least you've not put everything on hold in the meantime.

At this point, she'd only need to put a deposit down anyway, and I'm guessing she'd have to complete payment closer to the date. By family, do you mean she'd only take you and your family with her, or are others involved? Because if there are others involved, you pulling out will have less effect.

Regardless of what happens with you and a baby, I'm sure by the time it comes to paying the final amount, you'll have a better idea of what you will want to do as a family. I would think a new grandchild makes a fabulous 60th birthday present! ;)

We just did the mum is 60 and we all went to Bali for a holiday thing just last month.

Our parents new we were TTC so a little different but we just went with the plans and didn't book anything till we had to. We originally ppd the original travel dates cuz we fell pregnant back in feb so we were going to go in jan with a newborn, but that unfortunatley ended in a m/c. We went ahead and booked the original dates and I fell preg shortly after and went to Bali 6mntha preg with a 2 year old! It was hot and I was tired in the arvos but it def was doable.

I would of hated to ppd my families plans and then been sitting around still TTC, so we kinda went with let's book it and what will be will be and we will figure it out when we get there lol .

I'd always rather have to cancel cuz I'm preg or just had baby than not book holidays and have the time come around and not be pregnant or have a newborn- itms?

Dont put TTC on hold for anything or anyone. We were going to TTC from Jan last year but delayed for a couple of reasons. When we did start, it took 9 months, a mc, an ectopic and fertility treatment before we conceived DS3. Who knows if we might have skipped all that if we tried earlier?

I agree, you cannot bank on having a baby within a pre-imagined timeframe. It has never worked for me!

As someone who has spent the past seven or so years putting her life on hold (career, personal, etc) because I *might* get pregnant, I say go for it. TTC now and dont let anything stop you.

I started by thinking I would have sex and get PG (I had been uber fertile previously). Wrong. And, while I hope everything works as it should first go, you just dont know. I have put aside great career opportunities, stayed in jobs longer than I wanted to, not spent $ thinking I would need it for maternity leave, etc, etc....all for squat.

Take it as it comes! I really hope a newborn is a *problem* you need to worry about in a year's time!

Best of luck :D

Thank you all. Ttc is happening v soon, but I will feel guilty if the holiday changes cos of me. It is also with my sis, bil and their baby. They pulled out the last time we tried it, but before the villa was booked.

I told dh we can't bank on fertility, espesh as we're 7 years older now, but he won't believe me, he has my mat leave all planned out. And I would happily take a little baby on hols, but he wouldn't. (1m easier than 10m, imo, less stuff to carry, food to worry about, falling when walking etc.)

Guess I will just wait and see and keep quiet. But Stormy will *never* be called an accident. I was asked that about Liebs and it hurts so much. I could never call my child that, nor let others think that.