Socialising with parents at Secondary Level

How do you find it? Is it easy? Is it non existent? I'm a very engaged parent, my children tend not to have play dates etc unless I am familiar with the parents and that's been easy in a community focused school, but how do you find it works in high school?

I dread the idea of movies/shopping on her own with friends but I know that will start happening soon too.

So what's the dynamic like? I can't use my teen years as an example as I don't think any of my friends parents ever met my parents etc. it just wasn't the done thing.

I don't think I'm a helicopter parent. Just aware, cautious etc. I don't ever my kids to feel I'm imposing on their space. And they don't think that now. So hopefully that's a good thing ;)

My sister goes camping with my nephew's friends and their parents. My nephew finished school 2 years ago lol.

My friends and my siblings friends met my parents and were always welcomed. As a teenager all my friends thought my Mum was awesome because she had the gift of making whoever she was talking to feel like they were being heard and that what they were saying was important.

I don't think it matters what the school is like - some parents will take the time to get to know their children's friends and their families and others won't.

Your mum sounds awesome :) I hope I can be like her when I grow up.

Yeah I didn't think it was a school to school thing. More a generational thing.

That's great news though about your sister :) I hope we can establish something like that too.

I know the majority of DD's friends parents. I don't socialise with them but I chat to them when dropping off or picking the kids up and if I see them in the shops. We also chat to each other about what the girls are doing if we don't think things they're telling us add up and usually get to the bottom of what's going on.

There is one mother who I tend to keep at arms length though. :rolleyes:

That's all I'm hoping for Tinks. I'm not after dinner parties and shopping trips... I just know that experience shows when parents can talk it's often for the better. And all reports thus far have been it's frowned upon mostly.

With DS1 it's a bit different - if we want our kids to go to each others houses then all the contact has to be through the parents to arrange permission etc (remembering he's at a fully residential boarding school) so it's good that you have to have that contact with other parents that you may not necessarily have and it's good to know who they are and actually speak to them. I'd say that so long as you know their names, and what they look like so you can at least acknowledge them if you see them still creates some sort of a relationship so if you ever need to talk to them for any reason then you can kwim?

My DD1 is in Grade 5 this year. I reckon by about grade 4, so many kids catch the bus so you don't tend to see the parents at pick up and drop off. It was really noticeable this year as grade 5 is a big intake year at our school and I still have never laid eyes on some of the new parents! If DD wants to have a play with a child whose parents I don't know, I call and have a chat to a parent - usually mum - and always try to have the first play at our house!

I found Secondary school was totally different to primary. Although we did have a few kids from primary school there so I knew a few of the parents, and they did have a welcome bbq for the Year 7's which most parents went to, so got to know a few more there. You don't tend to see a lot of the other parents, except if they go on school camp or there is a school event, that is when you meet them. It's a very different scene, and especially at our school, where a lot of the parents are in their own culture groups and wont talk to anyone.

I suppose it also depends on the community you live in. I'm from a country area so I've already made a connection with the majority of my kids friends parents through the years at kinder, playgroup and sport. which probably makes it easier.

Although I don't know you very well Rouge, I don't think you'll have a problem connecting with your DD's friends parents.