Miss 3 (oh sorry 3.5 according to her!!)

I apologise in advance as this may be a longish post but I have a couple of points to make and thought I'd throw them in one post instead of making multiple different posts at once :D

1) Anyway, DD is 3.5 (I can't leave off the half as she'd throw a hissy fit if she knew I did lol) and I'm curious about where she "should" be developmentally. She sings her abc's counts to 14 before missing 15 and skipping ahead to 16 and so on up to 20, knows almost all of her colours (gets gold and silver mixed up), knows almost all of her shapes, talks impeccably (better than my DS (6) was at her age), has a damn good memory, can spell her nick name (shortened name) but can't write it, is drawing people, houses, rainbows etc. I could go on but to save you I'll leave it at that lol. Anyway, what I'm asking here is basically is there anything that she MUST be doing by now? She seems quite intelligent and I am often complimented on how much she knows.

2) She won't stay out of my bed!!!! Every morning between 2 and 3 am she wakes and wants to be in my bed with me. We co-slept until she was 18 months when she decided by herself that she wanted a "big girl bed" like her brother. That lasted until about 8 months ago when she started getting into my bed every night/morning. I put her back in her own bed but she screams blue murder. I have asked her why she wants to be in my bed and she told me that she wants "mummy snuggles" but apparently it has to be in my bed "just because" it's becoming quite tiring of a night where I'm up 3 or 4 times between 2 and 6 am to settle her back to sleep and then put her back to bed. We have tried a mattress on the floor but she won't stay there either. Any ideas?

3) Bum wiping and toilet flushing! Just please help lol......

4) she's not due to start prep until 2016 (born 2.7.10 and cut off date in Victoria is they have to be 5 by 30.4 the year they start) but her daycare and I both agree that she'd be ready in 2015. Does anyone know a way of getting her in early, as I don't want her being "over ready" and getting bored?

Ok, I think that's it lol. Sorry again for such a long post.

She "should" be:
secure in herself and know that she is loved
enjoying life and learning through play
maybe have a favourite toy/imaginary friend to project feelings onto
be a social being and enjoy being with people and playing games/sharing as appropriate
able to know when she needs the loo and probably use it appropriately
an awareness of numbers and colours

She really doesn't need:
academic stuff, such as writing, reading and manipulation of numbers. Certainly not recitation of facts.
being told off for needing love and security
enforced sleep for a 12-hour stretch with no wakings

Sure, your daughter is bright. Good for her. Don't worry about it: so long as she learns the importance of hard work along with it, then all will be good. Her daycare should be able to stop her getting bored without taking away from what kinder will do.

ETA: sorry, does that read a little harsh? I'm sure that you just want the best for your DD and are concerned. But right now, I'd be looking at cosleeping again to settle her rather than worrying about her writing. It's best that she doesn't start now anyway as she'll have to re-learn it when she goes to school and re-learning something you know how to do a different way is haaaard.

All of the above. Thanks hun :)
Oh the favourite toy!! It usually changes every few weeks between her toy cat, her unicorn and her baby doll.

I think she follows her brother with most things in the academic side of things as he is at school and always brings home new information which she is quite happy to sit and listen to.

Her daycare is brilliant. It is a small daycare with a close knit staff which is great. The have only about 10 or so kids in her room (3-5years) plus has the schoolies in there of an afternoon. She isn't held back from anything she wants to try there which I praise them highly for as her previous daycare was separated into smaller age groups (6-18 months, 18 months-1.5 years etc etc.)

No hun, it wasn't harsh :)
I'm not encouraging her to do much writing or anything but she sits with DS and "helps" him to do his sight words of a night haha.

I might try just throwing her back into bed with us when she wakes and see if that helps to settle her back into a routine again. Thanks for that :)

Yeah, what TFB said!

But also, she sounds right where she 'should' be developmentally.

DS doesn't wipe his bottom yet, but has recently started liking to flush. It'll come in time. I know much older kids that still need 'checking' or want someone to wipe for them still...not a problem at this age.

As for the sleeping, DS too was 'perfect until about 9 months ago - we resettle him in bed anywhere from 1-5 times a night. He comes in wanting 'cuddles' etc So no advice from me on that one....

All in all, she sounds like a typical 3.5yo :)

I have one the same age, but thankfully born just before the cut off in WA, so off to kindy next year. Our DS is the wrong side, but our daycare run a 3yo kindy program so he will do that for the year.
Our dramas are similar, though she will stay in her own room, she shows no interest in weaning. always 'needs help' in the toilet (ie wants to chat to you)

Hahaha trashalishous yeah I can't go to the toilet without my DD following me and she won't go without me there. Daycare says she goes fine by herself there. Hmm, maybe a bit clingy with mumma? I'll have a look into a 3/4yo kindy for her for next year although they run the kindy program at daycare so if I can pop her into that next year I might leave her there as she knows the staff and other kids really well and will be starting school with some of the ones in her room in 2016.

SHe sounds pretty normal to me :) My DD2 was born 11/2010 and is developmentally about where you describe. My DD still co sleeps and that's fine with us. How are your DD's reasoning skills? If you want to encourage learning, I would talk to her about things like 'why do you think the possums sleep during the day? Where do you think the sun goes at night? What do you think makes the flowers grow?' You get the idea! Encourage her to love learning and to reason things out for herself as opposed to getting her to recite sight words or colours - not that you shouldn't talk about the red t-shirt or the three pink flowers! I think a lot of people (not necessarily you!) get bogged down in trying to give kids a leg up before school by trying to cram them full of ABC's and 123's as opposed to encouraging kids to be enquiring, capable little people with a genuine desire to learn about the world around them.

DD2 will be going to ELC at my big kids school next year, it's an extended hours kinder program. She will need to be able to wipe her own bum. She's been doing her own wee for a year or so but has only started wiping poo in the past few weeks, with my encouragement. Mostly it's fine, although we have had to run a bath on a couple of occasions! I'd just encourage her with 'why don't you have a go and then mummy will check'.

I have two other children, one in Grade 5 and one in grade 2. My advice is to not try to wrangle you DD into prep early - it will only put a lot of pressure and expectation on her to 'prove' that she should have started early. It is possible to get an exemption to begin early and I do know of one family who have managed to do so here in Melbourne. That kid is under so much scrutiny and pressure, I really don't think it is a good idea unless perhaps your child is profoundly gifted. Your DD sounds like a great kid and developmentally about average.

Social and emotional readiness is most important, emotionally she isn't ready IMO.
She can't do 4 yr old kinder next year in a normal kinder (not child are) due to her age, therefore if you sent her the year after she won't have completed 4 yr old kinder, honestly I don't see the rush and the child are should be able to extend her, I don't believe kids get bored.