I've had two losses

I've been through a lot in my life, I got pregnant at a young age with my first child. I was 18 years old when I found out I was pregnant as a returning high school student trying to make my parents happy I just couldn't do it anyway my parents had just split up and I lived with my mom. I was unhappy with the situation of them breaking up but I knew it was for the better as it made everyone in the household unhappy. I am not an only child I have a sister 2years older then me she had already moved out with her boyfriend and was on her own. I knew I could go to her about anything but I didn't.

I dropped out of school and ran away from home on my own with my boyfriend at the time. My friend took us in and I was happy about that her family and herself helped us out a lot in what we needed. We had gotten are own place a little while after. I worked full time and he sat at home and played video games. I was ready to take control and ready to take care of my responsibilities I had a child on the way and I would do anything at this point for me and my baby to be able to make it in this world. Meaning going back to school to get my diploma and working my butt off to get a better place and have the best for my child.

In april 2009 I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I started spotting didn't know what was going on after sitting in emerg for 6 hours they finally called me into the back put me in a private room had run some blood test on me I stayed over night until ultrasound was open the next morning so they can do a ultrasound to make sure everything looked good. I ended up calling my mom and we planned on staying at her place for a little while as the doctor at the hospital had put me on two weeks bed rest. My sister was living back home with her boyfriend so it made it a lot easier to stay there. The day I got out of emerg had the ultrasound done I ended up bleeding more this time it was like a waterfall my sister had rushed me to the emergancy room as they made me wait 7 hours in the waiting room at this point i had gone through 4 pairs of underware and 3 pairs of pants. I ended up going to the bathrooms as clots come out i heared a plop and I knew it was the baby. I had pass the baby and my heart was broken. They ended up taking me in the back as soon as i started to look pale and almost passed out. They told me to get changed into a gown and as i was on my way back from the bathroom i passed out the doctor came in and said lets take a look with my feet up all I heared the doctor say was oh my look at the blood and that when I stated back thats what happens when they keep someone thats bleeding like this in the waitin room for 6 hours. I got the news from the on call ob that I had lost the baby ( which i already new but deep down in my heart I was hoping and praying that it wasn't true ) they kept me over night next day gave me birht control said take this so it doesn't happen again.

I took me 4 years and my heart still aches about losing that baby I had moved away to run away from my problems but me and the boyfriend didn't last.

I finally found a good man I had a huge crush on him in high school but never told him. at this point we hadn't seen each other since grade 10 we met up and its been love ever since. We found out I was pregnay in July 2013 I was so happy that I was with a man that I love and could share this moment with I am now 23 years old and happy as can be. I started having complications in my pregnancy so I took myself off of work as I worked in a place with heavy lifting ended up in emerg a couple times they said it was normal and they everything should be ok. Gone for mulitiple ultrasounds babys heat beat was strong my first ultrasound was at 6 weeks and HB was 115 at 7 weeks was 151 and 8 weeks was 171 I was so happy the heart beat was good and the baby was growning like it should be went on a couple weeks. When I was just shy of 12 weeks I got the horrible news that my baby didn't have a heart beat and had died in the womb. The Emergancy doctor had then went on to telling me that I would have to lose a thrid baby before they started ANY testing. Can you imagine as I still have my dead baby in me the doctor told me that. I then asked what they can do he then went on telling me that he can give me pills so I can pass the baby naturally or I can have a DNC done. At this point I asked for the DNC I already had passed a baby natuarlly and didn't want to go through that again. I called my work and they put me on a layoff so I could work on myself and get back to normal. That was in September 2013 I lost the baby I still think about it all the time as we got the ok to try again I want to so bad we both want to beable to share this moment together we are getting marriend and we want to start a family . They say that if a woman experiances 2 misscariages they normally go on to having a healthy thrid pregnancy which is great new but I can't get over the fact there is still a possiblity that I can lose another baby. I am also scared that I will get pregnant and it will be a noraml pregnany but I won't be excited cause I'll be waiting for the worst.

Has anyone else had multiplue losses that can give me some feed back or even people who have had multiple losses that has had a successful story!

Hi Sunshine

I'm truly sorry for your losses.

I had two early losses (5-6weeks) between my two daughters. They are now 3.5 and 1 on dec 19.

I hope your next pregnancy ends with a babe in your arms.

I am so sorry you have had to experience such heartbreak.

I have had 2 losses either side of my son after trying for quite some time.
It's hard to go back again as even when you get that BFP it doesn't necessarily mean a take home baby. I have no real advice except to seek help if it is getting too much for you to handle. A therapist may help you get through what is a scary a tough journey

Welcome to Bellybelly and very sorry to hear of your losses. They will always be a part of your heart and your journey- and I pray it is a journey that ends in a healthy baby with no more heartbreak.

Pregnancy is a very different experience for those of us who have had losses and complications. There is always that anxiety, but also it makes us strong dedicated mothers who know how precious our babies are.

There are so many stories on bellybelly if you browse around the forums of people who have experienced all sorts of losses and complications and how they got through. Also, I recommend joining a few groups such as the ttc group or ttc after miscarriage. Having people in the same situation who can help you through and keep you calm when you next get pregnant is so valuable- I don't know where I'd be without it!

All the best

I too am very sorry for your losses.

I had 2 children without any problems. When ttc my 3rd we had 2 m/c followed by an ectopic pregnancy and then I fell pregnant with my 3rd daughter.

We have not used contraception since her birth early 2011. This year I have had another 2 early m/c. Hoping to fall pregnant again soon and have a 4th child.