Two or more kids ..

When you have two or more little ones , how do you work out what takes priority?
Example .. Baby is crying but 3 yr old needs hp with something ,who do you make wait ?
When 3 yr old is upset and crying or sick and baby is crying do you leave the little one for a min while you comfort the older one ..
When baby is super clingy and won't let you put her down and older child needs something even if it's just your time ..

These are just some examples ..

I have a almost 4 yr old and a 6 month old and I don't like leaving either to cry , or either needing me or either needing me for something .. I wish I could always be there for both of them every time they need me :/

Unless it is life threatening/super urgent then the youngest takes priority - they are less able to wait or require more of your physical being then an older child.

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Unless it is life threatening/super urgent then the youngest takes priority - they are less able to wait or require more of your physical being then an older child.

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Yes, this is how things pan out here. Much to the ire of the 6 year old, who is deep into "it's not fair" and "you love her more than me" territory.

DD2 will be 3 in a month however, and it has become much less of an issue these days.

Same here. Usually. If the older child is sick though or hurt, then baby can wait. It's unfortunate, but there is only one of me, and unless I could lay my hands on a sling ultra-fast, then the baby got put down. I found it easier to do that as quick as was manageable than wait for the baby to be ready and the older child worked into such a fizz that calming them wasn't easy.
My babies spent lots of time in a sling, that allowed me to be/do with the older child/children.

depends on how long the help will take, and what mess the other will create while waiting.

when #2 was a young baby, he was easier to get to sleep, so he got first priority and then i could focus on #1 to help her to sleep. However, if #1 was on the edge about to drop, then i would settle her first.

Toilet training was another tricky time. If #1 was rushing to toilet, or indicating she needed to go, then as long as #2 was safe he got left while i helped out #1.

Now #2 is toilet training, he gets priority (because i don't want to clean any more mess than i have to).

I hated it at the start realising that i couldn't commit myself completely to one child anymore.

Good question...I've been wondering how this will work when DH goes back to work and my mum goes home. DS 'needs' someone with him at all times.. I don't think it'll be an issue about who gets left, as DS follows us around 100% of the time! My thoughts are that DS2 needs to take priority, but DS can get very upset very quickly and if I'm trying to settle DS2 for example, DS could make it near on impossible if he decides he should be #1....

It's a hard one. Sometimes I can do two things at once- eg breastfeed dd3 and read a book to dd2- other times I explain to older dds why they have to wait or dd3 goes in a sling so I can do things for older two dds. Sometimes I can manage by predicting needs. Eg make lunch for older dds knowing dd3 will need to feed soon and I'll be unavailable to get food for them if I leave it any longer. Having said that... It's not possible to keep everyone happy all the time. Sometimes someone ends up crying!

Yep youngest got sorted first here. If it was just one of those clingy days, I put her in a carrier and she's happy.

My theory was that DS (who was 5 when his sister was born), could understand if I said I'd be right with him, I just need to do (whatever it may have been) first, but the baby couldn't.

Youngest first, especially if the oldest is old enough to be told that you will be a minute

Def youngest here too, even though DD2 is quite high needs, she had to at times wait which is really difficult for her. She would yell, act out or be right in mine or the babies face looking for any form of attention.

I really struggled in those early months - I burned myself out trying to equally look after the both of them time wise - especially as I was breast feeding both of them.

At least I could tandem feed and for a few moments I would have everyone satisfied - except myself as I was feeling pretty touched out by then.

I ended up baby wearing them both a lot too, as it was easier for me to have both of them up sometimes then let DD1 run around.

It did eventually get better! :) it was just a struggle for me as I was suffering from depression as a result of adrenal fatigue (burn out!) so look after yourself too x

Quite often I would leave baby to cry while I tended to DS1 & DS2 - for example if they needed help in the toilet. Obviously if they had a silly problem like needing a toy or something they could wait. However even if I was feeding DS3 and one of them fell or something happened or they were starving, I would put baby down and yes he would be screaming to tend to them.

I read somewhere that the baby won't remember being left to cry but the older ones will and might in turn resent their new brother.