What's my best course of action?
Alright, So first up, I have already contacted Child Support and Legal Aid so keep that in mind as you read on..
Ex and I finally came to a parenting plan in mediation back in January. It stated that he was going to pay for half the cost of schooling (except the enrollment fee as we were covering it), he is also supposed to cover half of any operation/hospitalization costs. The day after we agree'd I got sent a text stating that since I would receive school kids bonus he wasn't going to pay his share, also since his Child Support payments were going up (from $9 whoo!) that I could take whatever from that towards schooling. I asked if he was sure he would rather go through Child Support over our personal agreement, and he said yes.
Then come the day we pick DS up he tells me that he will only start paying ONCE DS actually starts going to school. I then get a text later stating that child support told him to pay me directly.
5th Feb I ring up Child support, they want all his details (which seems odd if he just rang them?), I give them all mine, I get told my estimate providing he agree's with the details.. Today I get a letter in the mail stating that he earns less then me (which is ALOT less since I get sfa from anything), therefore he no longer has to pay anything. I ring them to dispute (as it also states 50/50 care still) and they tell me that he rang the day after I did (which would have been him calling back as they were going to call him to see if details were correct) and that was the information I got?
I have him texting me the night before DS goes to school demanding I take pictures, video's etc for him so he can have and share with family, which I'm fine with, except he's demanding it. If I deny him anything I get the whole spiel about "MY RIGHTS, MY SON, MY RIGHTS AS HIS FATHER", which would be fine, but what about my rights? He consistently carries on about how he wants to be a part of his sons life, which is great, not all the time they do, however wanting to be a part of his life also means an obligation to support HIS CHILD. He's telling me I HAVE to have internet so that he can skype his son, which is fine, except it costs money and I have to wait for a port to be installed in the area as we're rural, and yet he constantly demands that I do this and I do that. Yet I am getting nothing in return.. All I want is for him to help financially support his son. He keeps trying to turn this all on me, it's my fault he's not paying me, because I haven't given him my details, or because he doesn't know how much I want, or because Child Support said to come to an agreement etc..
I spoke to CSA and the abridged version of that conversation is basically if what he has given them is untrue then come tax time I am going to get a nice little bonus.. However that doesn't really help me now, I am swimming in school fee's and school uniform costs, I can't pay for a few of my own bills because I have had to foot the bill for two kids because no one asides from my DF wants to provide any financial support (and atm my DF pays for everything else and STILL trys to make ends meet now to pay for kids stuff too!).
I rang legal aid and because my DF earns too much I'm over their means test, so I have to hire a lawyer just to get advice and well, I can't pay a few of my bills, I haven't even spent any money on myself since before Christmas thanks to legal fee's and the like before hand, where am I gonna get the money for more legal advice??
Is there anyone who knows what the best course of action here is? Do I just keep giving him everything he wants, pictures on demand (which means I have to hang around in town all day which means I loose out on my own responsibilities to my current partner), getting internet installed asap while I get nothing in return. It's not nice but can I just turn around and tell him that since he can't afford to pay me child support then he can't afford to adequately look after our son? I dunno, what's the appropriate action that I can take?
Re: What's my best course of action?
Forest of all he can't make you get Internet! If he wants to talk to his son then fine he can supply Internet and computer to do so. If he doesn't want to do that them tell him he can phone asks talk that way until at such time you are ready to get internet.
The pictures and videos - you take what you normally would . In a before school shot what ever else you have then tell him this is what I have I'll send it to you. No you do not streams around all day to please him if he gets angry inform him you will not accept his abuse and get a AVO.
I agree you should play nice but don't be a door mat love.
Child support is a never ending battle - honestly make your family Budget not include child support and when you get it think of it as a bonus.
School stuff if he doesn't put in the finances then he doesn't get invites to school things or copies of report cards school photos news letters etc - when he kicks up a stink then tell him when he wants to be a father and provide financial assistance to school then he will be privy to that information
Re: What's my best course of action?
:
Forest of all he can't make you get Internet! If he wants to talk to his son then fine he can supply Internet and computer to do so. If he doesn't want to do that them tell him he can phone asks talk that way until at such time you are ready to get internet.
The pictures and videos - you take what you normally would . In a before school shot what ever else you have then tell him this is what I have I'll send it to you. No you do not streams around all day to please him if he gets angry inform him you will not accept his abuse and get a AVO.
I agree you should play nice but don't be a door mat love.
Child support is a never ending battle - honestly make your family Budget not include child support and when you get it think of it as a bonus.
School stuff if he doesn't put in the finances then he doesn't get invites to school things or copies of report cards school photos news letters etc - when he kicks up a stink then tell him when he wants to be a father and provide financial assistance to school then he will be privy to that information
I took pics of him in his uniform, ones of him with his sister (which I didn't send to ex as he refuses to have anything to do with her), I sent him a pic of DS while he was in class in the morning and a picture of of his painting that he showed me the same day when he was picked up. He's hassling me about internet so I've told him he'll just have to deal with calls for now (I need internet anyways but I dont like how he's pushing so hard for something out of my control).
My family budget has always been made off of my DF and my own money, NEVER anything else, we never include my PPP or any tax I get back as their all considered extra.. However we had agreed on the schooling and stuff and it needed to be paid, school stuff bought and uniforms purchased, for two kids with no financial support from their bio dad at all I had to put off a few of my normal bills in order to cover them, that's whats dragging me back atm..
School stuff is hard, he's already listed and signed up for newletters, open days etc (though he lives 3 hour drive away) so I doubt he would actually attend.
