To my sweet girl,
This is the story of how you came into our lives!
My 3rd pregnancy went smoothly just as it had the other two times. After the first trimester when the morning sickness was gone, I began to enjoy it a lot more. I started to feel little flutters inside just after the 13 week scan. I thought the other two girls were active babies but you were my most active yet! You were constantly kicking around in there. I love that feeling. I would poke your little feet and rub your back from the outside and wonder who it was in there.
The 20 week scan again showed that all was perfect with you and my tummy continued to grow bigger and bigger. People were amazed at how big it grew and said that they thought it was bigger than with your sisters. I'm not sure if it was or not, it felt about the same to me. When I went out people would ask me when I was due, expecting it to be any day and when I told them not until January they would gasp. I was often asked if I was having twins! I had a feeling throughout the pregnancy that you might be early. I'm not sure why because both of your sisters had been overdue. I kept asking Daddy if he thought we would be having a 2013 or 2014 baby and said that I thought it might even be 2013 even though you weren't due until the 4th of January.
In the last couple of months of my pregnancy I was getting pretty uncomfortable. The chiropractor helped my back and pelvis not get too sore but it was still hard to sleep. I was much more tired this time and began having naps every afternoon while your sisters napped. As the time got closer to your arrival I thought I had better read some of my birth books and prepare for the big day! The last two times I had done a lot of reading and getting ready. This time I was having trouble getting in the mood! I think I just figured I'd done it all before and I knew what I was in for this time and that I could do it. So I just skimmed my books and refreshed my memory a bit. I started to get even more excited to meet you now.
Christmas time came and my tummy was looking huge! I just wanted to make it past Christmas and then I would be happy for you to come. And so when I went to the toilet on Christmas eve (38 weeks and 3 days) and saw that I had started losing my plug I was very stressed out! With both of your sisters this was the first sign of labour starting for me. When I started losing my plug with them, I went into labour the next day! I was so worried I was going to have a Christmas baby and I didn't want you to have to share your birthday with Christmas every year! That day I was busy trying to get everything ready for visitors to come and stay, and for Christmas the next day. I started getting some cramps as well which made me even more nervous so I tried to sit down and rest as much as possible. Daddy had to do most of the work because I didn't want to go into labour! On Christmas eve I had trouble going to sleep and this time it wasn't because of the excitement of Christmas! I was expecting to wake in the early hours of the morning in labour, the same as I had done with DD2. So when I woke up the next morning still pregnant I was very relieved. At least I had made it to Christmas day and I could see the girls open their presents! We had a really nice Christmas at home but I was still losing my plug and having cramps. All of a sudden I did not feel ready! I packed my hospital bag and Daddy put the car seat in the car. I felt really nervous about labour now when I had thought that I was ready. I wonder now if my body did want to go into labour but my anxiety about having a baby on Christmas and not feeling ready stopped it. If so, I'm glad it did anyway!
The next day (boxing day) I called my mum to make sure she wasn't going to be drinking any alcohol from now on because she was coming to look after the girls when I went into labour and she needed to be able to drive! Now that our visitors had gone home she was the only person that could come! She was excited that it might be happening soon.
Each night now I went to bed expecting to wake up in labour. And so did Nanna! She had trouble sleeping too, thinking she would get a call in the night! A few more days passed and nothing happened. I wasn't even at my due date yet but now I started to get impatient because I had expected you soon! I realised I felt ready now. I wanted to meet you. We started to go for walks each night trying to help you into the best position and move you down a bit more. Daddy finished up work and we took the opportunity to have our last day out as a family of 4 and took the girls to see 'Frozen' at the movies on Monday the 30th.
The next morning (Tues 31st December) I had a midwife appointment (I had a private midwife this time). I told my midwife I felt really uncomfortable today. I couldn't explain how I felt. I was having a few crampy feelings but nothing out of the ordinary, I just felt really uncomfortable, like you were in an uncomfortable position or something. She told me that she thought I would have a baby soon and that she would be really surprised if she woke up tomorrow and hadn't heard from me. She said she wasn't going to have any new years drinks just in case. We talked about how to know when to call her and when to go to hospital. She said that she wanted me to let her know as soon as possible because she thought it would be a fairly quick labour. I had always had in my head that it would be a 4 hour labour for some reason, but tried to convince myself it would be longer so I wouldn't be disappointed if it took longer than that.
The day continued on and I was still getting cramps every now and then but didn't think anything was going to happen. I had a nap anyway just in case. I was getting more cramps in the afternoon but still didn't think it was the start of labour. I decided because it was new years eve I should check with mum just in case that she wasn't going out anywhere. I sent her a text message at 4pm saying 'are you going out for new year?'. Mum was out at the shops but called me back when she got home at 4.50 and I said I was just feeling uncomfortable and had some cramps so was just checking she wasn't going out in case something happened.
I was getting more cramps now and decided to have a bath to relax and see if I could get you to feel more comfortable! I hopped in the bath and talked to my aunty on the phone at 5.40pm. We talked for 20 mins and I noticed the cramps were coming and going more often now. My aunty asked if I was in labour and I said I didn't know, I just had cramps! I started to realise though that these 'cramps' had more of a definite start and end to them and thought maybe they actually were contractions. When I got off the phone I saw I had a text message from Mum saying 'how are the cramps going?'. I replied at 6pm saying 'I think they're contractions'.
I was uncomfortable sitting in the bath now and wanted to get out, so I hopped out and went to my room to get dressed. I went to the toilet and noticed there was blood! This has never happened to me before and I felt worried that something was wrong. At 6.05 I called my midwife to tell her what had happened. I told her I thought I might be having contractions but I wasn't sure. She reassured me that the blood was normal and it just meant my cervix was doing things and getting ready. She said it sounded like early labour and she would wait to hear from me. She was going to have an early dinner now and if she didn't hear anything else soon she would have an early night.
I decided that I better ask Mum to come and stay the night in case this was labour. I rang her at 6.11pm and she said she would finish making dinner and get ready and leave. I said that was ok because I didn't think there was any rush. I went to lay down in bed because I wanted the cramps to go away and I thought if it was labour I should rest as much as possible. While I was laying there I messaged my photographer at 6.16pm saying I was just letting her know that things might be happening. She said she was excited and to let her know as soon as I needed her. I actually still felt like this might not be it and that I would be texting her in the morning to say 'sorry, false alarm'. Being my third baby you would think I would know by now! Daddy asked me if I was in labour and I said I didn't know.
I'm not sure I even lasted 10 minutes lying in bed before I realised these were definitely contractions and they became too uncomfortable and forced me to get up. I came out into the kitchen and walked around and Daddy asked me what was going on and if I was in labour. I said that I guess I was and asked him to put the tens machine on and heat up the heat pack for me. I started walking up and down the hallway during contractions like I had done when I was in labour with DD2. I held down the button on the tens machine during a contraction and held the heat pack low down on my belly. The contractions just got more and more intense very quickly. I was shocked at how strong they were already and wondered how I would keep doing this for hours. Daddy was asking me if he should call his brother and ask him to come in case we needed him to look after the girls until Mum got here. I said no because I didn't want other people around when I was in labour and I was sure we had a long time before going to the hospital yet. It had only been half an hour since I had decided I actually was in labour! Daddy was looking worried though and didn't want to leave it too late to call BIL if we needed him. So Daddy called Nanna to check if she'd left yet so we would know how far away she was. When he called at 6.46pm she was just about to leave and he told her this was definitely it and to hurry up. I remember having another contraction and walking down the hallway and Daddy asking me on the way past if he should call BIL. I said 'no' and walked to the end of the hallway. By the time I walked back to Daddy again I had changed my mind and told him to call him now and tell him to come.
I told Daddy to time the contractions on my phone at about 6.55 because I felt like they were getting really strong and seemed to be really close together. He timed a few and we found out that the contractions were only 90 seconds apart and lasting for about 90 seconds each. I was confused. I didn't understand how they could be so close together and so strong already when I'd only been in labour for an hour. Now I was a bit worried and decided I definitely needed to call my midwife again (7.07pm). I got Daddy to call because by now I didn't feel like I could talk through the contractions. Daddy explained to her what was going on and she asked to talk to me. I told her I was worried it was too soon to go to hospital because it hadn't been long enough but also that the contractions were really strong. When I got another contraction I left the phone to Daddy and continued walking, pressing the tens, holding the heat pack, and making an 'ahhh' noise to distract myself. A winning combination I had used in labour with DD2 that had helped me get through the contractions! Daddy was also helping me by counting out loud every time I had a contraction like he had done last time. It helped me to know when I was half way through and how long I had to go until the contraction was over. My midwife said to head in to hospital now and she would meet us there and Daddy explained we just had to wait for BIL to get there. Daddy then called Mum to tell her we would be leaving before she got here and BIL would be here, and called the photographer to tell her we needed her. He then spoke to our midwife again who said that if BIL didn't arrive in the next 10 minutes she wanted him to just pack the girls in the car and bring them with us!
Luckily, we didn't have to do that. We waited for BIL and I tried to reassure DD1 and DD2 that everything was ok. Daddy had set them up with a movie and dinner in the lounge room but they kept coming to see what was happening and started to get worried about me. I wanted to cuddle them and make sure they were ok so I tried to between contractions, but every time I got another one I had to walk again. I told them that I was ok and I wasn't hurt, that it was just hard work and it was time for the baby to come. I looked at them and thought this is the last time I will have just the two of them, and soon DD2 won't be my 'baby' anymore. Daddy was busy trying to make sure we had everything packed for the car and also make sure the girls were ok. BIL finally arrived at about 7.30 and I said a quick goodbye and went outside to get in the car. The girls got upset as we were leaving though. Daddy tried to comfort them and I went back and told them I was ok. Their little crying faces watching me as I left almost broke my heart. There was nothing I could do though because we had to get to hospital and I knew Mum would be there soon anyway.
The ride to hospital wasn't much fun and I really had to concentrate to get through the contractions because I couldn't walk around. I still had the tens machine and the heat pack and Daddy counting to help me though. We got to the hospital at about 8pm and our midwife came out to meet us. I couldn't get out of the car until I'd finished having another contraction. Then I got out as quick as I could before the next one came. Daddy went to park the car and the midwife and I waited for him in the entrance before we all went up to the birth suite together. We ended up being in the same room I was in when I was in labour with DD1.
The midwife listened to the baby's heartbeat and then I wanted to get in the shower straight away! The shower is the thing that always helps me most in labour. So I stood in the shower now holding the hot shower head low down on my belly, rocking back and forth and saying 'ahhh' during contractions. In between contractions Daddy gave me sips of water and my midwife put cold cloths on my forehead and shoulders. My feet were getting more and more swollen and uncomfortable from the hot shower though. I tried sitting on the fit ball during contractions but didn't like it. Daddy got in the shower with me and sat in front of me on a chair and held the shower head for me.
I was only in the shower for about an hour before I got out. I had started feeling like pushing during some contractions. I knew it was too early because it was only for some contractions and only at the very peak of the contraction. The midwife said not to worry if it was too early but just to let my body do whatever it wanted. She was so supportive and made me feel safe. Out of the shower it was harder to find a position that helped me. I sat on the birthing stool for a while. I was getting more of the pushing feeling now but still felt it wasn't strong enough and also couldn't feel the baby was moving down at all. The contractions just felt really strong and I was thinking that I still had ages to go yet, and wondering how I was going to cope with it.
After sitting on the birth stool for 15 mins my midwife wanted me to get up and stand for a while because the birth stool can cause swelling if you stay on it for too long. So the next hour I spent standing up and trying lots of different things to try and help. When I would have a contraction I would hold on to Daddy. I felt better when he was holding me and if he moved away and wasn't back in time for the start of the contraction I felt like I couldn't do it. I sort of hung around his neck during the contractions while half squatting down and pulling on him because I was getting stronger and stronger pushing urges now. Poor Daddy, he had a sore back after that.
I kept saying to my midwife that I felt like it was taking ages and that nothing was happening even though I felt like pushing. She kept reassuring me that everything was fine and to just trust my body and do whatever I felt like. After an hour of this though, she asked me if I would like her to check and I said yes. She knew that things were progressing fine but also knew that I needed some reassurance that things were happening too. At 10.45pm she checked me and found that I was almost fully dilated and there was just a cervical lip in the way. Now I had thoughts about DD1's birth because this was the same thing that happened then (and I ended up with a cesarean). Surprisingly I wasn't worried though. I think the fact that my midwife was so calm and not worried about it made me think that it was fine and it would be gone soon.
I got off the bed as soon as I could after my midwife had checked me and went to sit on the toilet because it felt comfortable. The contractions were really strong and I started to panic and told my midwife that it was taking ages and it was too hard. She told me that I knew what was happening, I was just feeling like this because it was very close now. I was getting big pushing urges all the time now and during one contraction on the toilet there was a big pop and my waters broke. Very convenient while I was sitting on the toilet I thought. As soon as that happened it felt as if the baby dropped straight down. I could all of a sudden feel the stretchy feelings like the baby was very close.
I got off the toilet and sat back down on the birth stool. My midwife organised a beanbag in front of me and told me that she wanted me to hop off the stool and lean forward on the beanbag on all fours when the baby was being born just to give the baby lots of room because with DD2 the midwife had told me that her shoulders were very tight. After 8 minutes of pushing, I reached down and felt the top of your head. The midwife and Daddy then helped me off the birth stool and on to the beanbag. Daddy went around the other side and I put my head in his shoulder and pushed. I could feel the stinging stretching feeling and so tried to push slowly. It felt like it was taking a while and I wondered if they were going to tell me I needed to hurry up and push harder in a minute. When I look back at the photos though it was only 6 minutes from when I moved onto the beanbag until you were born.
Daddy and I had our last minute guesses of who we thought was in there and even though we had no preference for boy or girl we both guessed a boy! I felt your head come out and then with the next contraction your whole body slid out and at 11.16pm you were born. The midwife passed you through my legs onto the floor in front of me. I looked down at this beautiful and gooey new baby and picked you straight up on to my chest. I was so happy to be the first one to pick up my baby this time, it was such an amazing feeling. I looked and discovered I had another beautiful girl and told everyone! I kept saying 'It's a girl! Another girl! A beautiful girl' and talking to you and saying hello to you. Daddy came around behind me so he could look at you too. Then I told everyone your name, which I had picked before you were even in my tummy.
I got up on to the bed then so I could be more comfortable. I had to have the needle to help the placenta come out then because they were worried I was losing too much blood and it came out without any problem. Daddy then got to cut the cord for the very first time. You were making funny noises and had not cried yet and were not interested in feeding. They had given you a bit of oxygen to help. At some point we realised it was the new year and all said happy new year to each other. What a great way to spend new years eve. We called Mum to tell her we had had a little girl and that we would be home soon. And we also called BIL to tell him the baby had been born but didn't tell him if it was a girl or boy yet because we wanted your sisters to be the first to know.
The midwife was looking at my tummy and told me I had a big blister on it and it was all red down the bottom of my tummy and on the tops of my thighs. I had actually felt the blister at one point in the shower and thought it was left over gel stuck on me from where she had been listening to the heartbeat and pulled it off! I had burnt myself with the heat pack. I had had it too hot, probably in the car on the way to hospital and given myself a big blister. The contractions were just so strong that I hadn't even noticed. I couldn't believe how strong the contractions had been this time. I had gone from having a few cramps to strong contractions 90 seconds apart so quickly. And although I think this labour was only around 4.5 hours it seemed much harder than my 10 hour labour with DD2. I think because I never had time to build up to the strong contractions, they started straight away. It was a beautiful birth though and everything had gone exactly how I'd wanted it.
I held you for over an hour but you were still not interested in feeding in that time, so Daddy had his first hold while I had to get a few stitches from a small first degree tear. You were weighed and we found out you were 9lbs (4090g) and 51cms long with a head circumference of 36cms. My biggest baby yet! While Daddy was holding you, you really opened your eyes for the first time and had a good look at him.
I got up and had a shower and by the time I got out you were definitely ready to have your first feed. You fed for a long while and I just stared at you. The midwife was busy filling out paperwork and was in and out of the room, the photographer went home, and Daddy was so tired he had a nap. Although I had been up all night, I wasn't tired at all, I was still on a high from such a great birth and was too busy falling in love with you, and soaking up your delicious newborn smell.
We eventually got you dressed and you had a couple more feeds while we waited until we could go home. We had to stay in hospital for 4 hours but then could leave. We left at 3.30 in the morning, arriving home at 4am before your sisters had woken up. What a great surprise to wake up to! Mum heard us come in and got up to come and meet you and we told her your name. DD1 woke up and came in to meet you, followed by DD2. They are in love with you.
We are so very happy to have you in our family, precious girl. You fit in so perfectly and make us all so happy.
