Educate me Caesarian birth

My long time BFF just gave birth this arvo to a little boy via Caesarian section.
What should I know about helping out? What's recovery time like? How much blood is lost ( lochia) after a Caesarian? What was most helpful and useful for you after a Caesarian?
Why would the nurses not be encouraging my friend to express colostrum to give to her LO and giving him sugar water instead? He was born at 36+ 5 and his lungs are a bit wet and she had GD and high blood pressure and was diagnosed with bad preeclampsia today. He's in a humidicrip at the mo. I've fed her animals tonight and I need to cook some meals to stock her freezer. I'd love to clean her house but I think I should check with her first.
Ideas please!
TIA

Congrats to your friend. Sounds like she's had a bit of a rough start.
The sugar water will be due to low blood sugar in the baby. Actually, expressed colostrum is better (according to research) but hospitals often have this policy instead. Does she have access to an LC at the hospital? (And I'm assuming she was planning to breastfeed?) If she's not with her baby and feeding him, then she should get a pump pronto, and get that colostrum into her baby.
Sounds like you're already doing lots to help her out! I hope she says yes to house cleaning and both she and baby are well and home soon.

Congrats to your friend!! And what a lovely, caring friend you are :)

When I had a c-section, the recovery time was actually quicker than my natural birth (though that was an unusually rough one). For the caesar, I was on stronger painkillers but for a much shorter time. I lost a similar amount of lochia, but it took longer.

I was able to express and breastfeed right from the start, but my boobies never completely stopped lactating after DS1 was born - it just went from a little milk to colostrum during the pregnancy.

The most helpful things were meals - getting things in and out of the fridge and freezer, pulling pots and pans out of cupboards, going to the shops etc were all doable but painful and achey, and I just wanted to be with my baby ... particularly for me, as I already had a 1yo who needed his mummy too!!

I personally would be mortified if someone cleaned my house for me or did laundry etc, but if they offered meals, shopping, babysitting (of an older child, not the brand new bub) or coming over to keep me company (if it was someone I was close to, who'd seen me without pants already) that would be nice :) I found that particularly handy with DS1 because I needed regular salt baths, which were tricky when DS1 was awake, but were really important to keep the injured area clean.

Oh wow, she had the baby already? Sounds like things went a bit pear shaped there... Fx things start looking up now.

On the housecleaning front, when my mum and sister came round after DD was born, they would walk in with a meal or some fresh groceries, my mum would go into the kitchen and start getting me a meal ready or getting some food prepared, then go grab some clothes and throw them in the wash. My sister would hang out whatever washing needed hanging, then run the vacuum around or clean the bathroom, then they'd both fold whatever washing or nappies needed doing. They did that for two weeks and it was awesome.

But. That was my mum and my sister. If my friends came round, I'd appreciate a quick vacuum, or a tidy of the kitchen. Probably anymore than that would be a bit uncomfortable for me.

You know your friend best though. If she'd be ok with it, then ask and go for it :)

I'm sorry she's struggling with bf, I know an awesome LC if she'd like me to put her in touch, let me know. Which hospital is she at?

She's at epworth Freemasons OP. same OB that you had. She's in a bad way and her baby boy was taken to the royal children's hospital by special ambulance because he was having trouble breathing. Too weak to bf. the nurses are helping express colostrum. She is still high risk so until she is low risk she can't be transferred to the children's to be with him. Very distressing and all too fast. She's not ready for me to go and see her so I feel a bit helpless.

The main priority right now is that they are both well - and I hope they are very soon.
Perhaps just be there when she is ready.

She's able to go and see her son this arvo thank goodness. I think she will be transferred to the royal children's as a patient herself because at the RCH they can have new mums who are low risk.

An update. My friends DS will probably have the tube removed today and be put on a cpap machine. I know it's great progress at 3 days old but I'm worried about the damage that being intubated will to to his ability to bf once he's strong enough. I wonder if he'll be a bit orally defensive. Has anyone been through this with their LO?

Hi Frangipani,

Great news that your friend has had her baby and that she is okay - I think its just great at this point that they detected there was a problem and got the baby out quickly... Itsnprobably not what she was expecting - but it's better than the alternatives. In the same situation with the twins,i had a lot of time to prepare myself, so I can imagine that this may be difficult for her as it wasnt the outcome she may have expected....

It's great thatshe has been transferred to be close to her baby. I wasn't able to see the girls for 2 days after birth and that was tough, although DH and my mum were able to be with them.

I wouldn't worry to much about the bring at this point, not because it's not important (it is) but your baby being on CPAP is somewhat traumatic and upsetting, especially if you had not been expecting a Caesar and pramature birth. She may be less concerned about the bfing and sugar water, than she is about her baby breating on his own and being out of NICU.

Twin 1 (who shall remain nameless on here) was put on CPAP for the first 24 hours after birth, and the NICu midwives kind of drill into you that at that point the main aim is getting the baby of CPAP as soon as is possible, so this may be the main thing she is thinking about. Expressing colostrum is brilliant is she can do it and they will determine how quickly they can give it to him via tube feed.

Both our girls were tube fed for the first week, twin 2 moved to being tube fed and bottle fed 8 days after birth. Because she would get so tired from sucking (this is the main reason they tube feed premmies) they get exhausted from the work it takes to suck either a boob or a bottle. I'm assuming it's fairly similar, so all I can tell you from personal experience is that the tube feeding didn't in our case affect the sucking reflex. Because the tube goes through their nose and down the back of their throat to the tummy - instead of through their mouth we were told it wouldnt affect sucking because they don't actually have anything in their mouth for feeding (eg no tube going in through their mouth if you know what I mean?). Of course every baby is different, but when we were in NICU generally everyone was doing the same thing, when their baby was strong enough they do dual feeding. So if bfing then you may tube feed the first feed in the morning, then next feed may be a BF - the tube stays in their nose down to their tummy - but doesn't get in the way of sucking.. I'm not very knowledgable on bfing but I would think similar to bottle, he will take as much as he can on the boob and then they may top him up via his tube with either anything she has expressed or formula, whatever is available... In other words, I don't think the tube will make him orally defensive - there were a lot of mums dual feeding in NICU between tube and breast...

I can understand she may not be ready for visitors. It's a very distressing thing to go through and if this is her first baby she may be struggling with not knowing what is going on, or what to expect. The pain from a caesar also can make it difficult to be with baby for long periods... It requires a wheelchair etc and sitting upright for longer than normal periods, this combined with having to express etc may be quite overwhelming.

I would just let her know your there for her when she needs and wants you. Also as hard as it may be, try and understand that bfing might not be her first concern at this point. I wasn't mine. I just wanted my babies to breathe unaided and to get out of humidicribs and into open cots. Humidicribs amongst other things signify that baby cannot regulate it's own temperature, so for us the pads could have said feeding baby rocket fuel through its ear would have been the best approach and we would have agreed.Anything to just know they were going to be okay...

As for the practical stuff... At bit like the other mummas have said, I would have been mortified if anyone outside my family had have cleaned my house or done my washing! Since she is your BFF she may be totally fine with it - but I would ask first. One thing that may be useful, if she wasn't expecting a premmie... Maybe you could grab her a couple of 00000 grow suits and just drop them at the hospital reception? I'm assuming her baby is little and she may not have anything to put him in after he comes out of the humidicrib? This might be something thoughtful that she would appreciate if she hasn't had the opportunity to prepare for having a premmie?

Also if he's 36+5 and is on CPAP - it's possible she may be coming home before her baby:( This is really difficult and she will want to go in to see him I'm sure, for feeds and just to be with him, as much as possible so I agree with the suggestion someone else made - if she has other children, helping look after them would be super helpful so her DH can be there for her.. If she doesn't have other kids, she won't be able to drive after a caesar, so being her taxi to and from the hospital when you are not working would probably also be much appreciated!

The only other thing I will say is that she will likely be being bombarded with information from all angles inside the hospital, so just try and be a good listener. My friends and family all wanted to help, and they felt helpless so they offered as much advice as they could... And unfortunately - it wasn't helpful and it just made me angry. In hindsight I was just incredibly stressed, but a lot of the advice was at odds with what my caregivers were saying... Premmies are a little different to full term babies and as a result the care and priorities surrounding them is quite different to that of a full term bubba. It's so hard for everyone involved to understand and I found the only person I wanted near me were my BFF's who didn't have kids (go figure).. Because they didn't try and give me advice or ask a heap of questions... They just listened and said I was a legend and that the twinnies were doing great at that stage, just hearing some normal stuff, really helped.

Your an amazing friend for caring so much and she's lucky to have you when she needs you.

I hope she and her baby are ok xx

Frangipani - I have been thinking about your friend and her baby. How are they both going? I bubba still on CPAP? Did she get to go and be with him at the RCH? I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of her, and you.

X

Thanks for you're generous post TTL. Bubs has been transferred tonight to the hospital where he was born which is good news. My friend is coping but I think it could all come tumbling out when bubs gets home. She's expressing and bubs is taking 40mls each feed so that's great. She's been told that he will need ebm in a bottle to begin with until he's strong enough to feed.
Is that usually how it works for premmies?

Hey Frangipani,

Great news that he's back with his mumma, it's sounds as though they may have been separated for a few days:( Did she have to stay in the hospital where he was born, or was she able to go and be with him?

Yes it's super normal for him to be on a bottle at this stage as he was 3.5 weeks early, but if he is strong enough to suck from a bottle and not get tired then he should be strong enough to BF? Often they like them to be bottle fed purely so they can see how much milk he is getting at each feed... Hopefully this won't make it difficult for him to take the breast when they feel he is up to it.

Is your friend asble to stay in the hospital with him? Or is she being released to go home and he will come home when he's strong enough? I think that is probably the hardest part... Coming home from hospital without your baby is heartbreaking if it is not what you were expecting. We knew the twins couldn't come home with us a long time before they were born, but it was still incredibly difficult...

If she feels up to it, it may be useful for her to see a counsellor before he comes home? I really didn't want to, but DH and my mum forced me - and in hindsight I'm so glad I did. She was amazing (the consellor) and it really helped. I think she is really lucky to have you.. And she will probably need you more than ever for the next few months.

Xx