Is it a boy or a girl? Why do you want to know?

I have to share my thoughts on recent conversations with someone - you guys get to be it! Of course, at 37 weeks pregnant I'm asked a lot "do you know if it's a boy or girl?" And we don't, because we want to be surprised. And, on a deeper level, we haven't found out the sex because we don't want to create opinions of this child's nature before they're even born.
Today, though, an associate in a professional environment asked me in full seriousness "so, if you don't know the gender, what do you do to prepare?" Umm, to prepare?... Eat well, rest, try to plan how our expanded family will work, encourage our son's excitement about being a big brother.. ?
What my associate actually meant is "what colour do you paint the nursery?"That is the least important thing to us! I couldn't say out right that I thought her preoccupation was silly - I told her the nursery was white - but I did slip in a little comment that expectations about gender weren't our style, that our son had been perfectly happy wearing pink.
What do you think? Am I taking it all too seriously? Or could it be a bad idea to plan the colour of the nursery, the personality of the child and their role in society all before they even poke their head out, or their genitals?!?

I'm confused here. Did she actually say 'what colour do you paint the nursery?', or is that just what you assumed she meant?

Them: what are you having?

Me: a baby.

Them: ha, no, what sort of baby?

Me: a duck-billed platypus baby.

Yeah, those random strangers who obsessed about gender annoyed me too.

Liebling's nursery was white and yellow, Stormageddon's is lavender and grey. We prepared just fine. But I do notice now that we will not be able to buy a new wardrobe for Storm: every item of baby clothing I see atm is gender orientated!

I've even encouraged my kids to be cheeky if people ask. The other day miss 7 pipes in "yelp we know what it is, it's definitely a BABY!'

To be honest - yes I think you are taking the colleagues comment too seriously (I don't think your ideas on not wanting to create opinions based on gender are necessarily wrong though). I believe people ask that question because they want to show an interest, it seems these days there is very little you can say to/ask a pregnant lady - but people ask questions/make statements to acknowledge, I think assuming that she has a preoccupation with nursery color is stretching it a bit.

i liked not knowing bc i then looked for more variation in clothes, towels, blankets etc for my newborn. my newborn clothes are lovely - bright colours orange, purple, grey, green, navy, rainbow.

As kids get older, it is harder to find clothes that aren't boring colours and same same

I have my morph scan in 2 weeks and I am planning on finding out the gender. I actually find it great knowing the gender.

Yes I will paint the nursery but my kid wont care if its pink, purple, blue or grey no matter what their gender. I am not defining them because I put a newborn girl in pink or visa-versa. I find it helps me bond with the baby better and I can feel more organised. My sister is 4 weeks ahead of me and she isn't finding out. In comparison of preparations for our babies there is really no difference. I support her choice to wait til birth and she supports my choice to find out.

Your colleague probably wanted to share in your excitement for the baby, people love to be supportive and almost everyone loves a newborn. It's a hard line to walk with a colleague as you want to show that support and excitement but at the same time if they ask questions that are of a more personal nature then they can be seen as crossing a line.

I think that asking gender is one of those questions that people immediately jump to because it's an easy one to ask and let's them be involved without too much depth or prying. I personally think it's ok to ask, and perfectly ok to say you dont know and are waiting until they are born :)

The only thing I slightly disagree with you on is the notion that personality and role is determined by gender. I am not sure how knowing the gender of your baby influences that child's personality or role? That depends on the child themselves and how they are raised I reckon.

Finding out the gender of our girls never influenced our clothing choices or nursery colour...currently my little one is in a blue room with dragonfly wallpaper and it was not influenced by the fact that she is a girl...it just looks awesome lol

I'm not a finder-outer, but I ask people f they know. I just find it interesting to find out whether they're finding out.

With my DD2, I found out by accident, and I felt so robbed! Fortunately I had 22 weeks to convince myself that I didn't *really* know and I just live having girls so I was chuffed anyway.

People are asking me too, and I've been pretty lucky that everyone has said its nice to have the surprise. I think it's just people being interested. Although it does sound like your colleague really struggles with not knowing for herself and obviously needs that. Reality is that we cannot avoid socialisation... Nor would we really want to all together, it helps children learn appropriate behaviour die different situations. It will be the way you interact with the child that will determine whether they are pushed into gender roles that you are uncomfortable with, not what colour you may or may not paint the room.

I do get why it felt uncomfortable, but try not to get stuck on it. They are entitled to feel that way too.

my poor mixed up kids get to wear 'baby clothes' in various colours, not determined by genitals. They have grown out of the tiny stuff so quickly, I wasnt buying more when I have a box here of almost new stuff! And even at 2 and 4 they share clothes, as 2yo DS is a big boy and fits his sisters clothes. They dont care.