The attempted VBAC of DS2 (Feb 2014)

This is gonna be long, with a bit of back story, so maybe get a cuppa LOL

DF and I started trying for another baby when DS1 was 18 months or so. (back in 2010) it just wasn't happening.
Finally Just before Xmas in 2012, two blue lines came up on the test, I was ecstatic, I just wanted to tell everyone, our whole families, shout it from the rooftops LOL, but we didn't...

We had family over from interstate that Jan, we all went out for dinner, my brother and his wife had gotten married in Bali in Nov, they were excitedly telling everyone that they were 4-5 weeks pregnant.... DF blurted out, "so are we!" well, a little further along but still! happy smiles all around :D

I was flat out organising my SIL wedding, baking cookies, making bonbonerrie, organising decorations and invites etc, when I realised that I hadn't had any morning sickness....I organised a dating scan with fear and dread in my heart.

the wedding came and went, at this point I was 9 wks 4 days on the day I went for the scan, as soon as the pic came up, I knew it was another blighted ovum. The US lady couldn't understand why I was so upset, "this is a perfectly healthy 4 wk egg sac, come back in 2-3 weeks, I'm sure its all fine.." I knew better, been there, done that before. Went to emergency and had bloods and had it confirmed. D&c the next day.

I kinda lost it a bit after that, not taking care of myself, maybe I was depressed, DF and I were having an awful time and things were pretty much at breaking point...

But then in June...I couldn't remember when I last had AF, I had some preg tests lying around so more out of habit than a hope, I tested, and I saw two blue lines....:o
I instantly started shaking, I think I threw up, I burst into tears and ran to DF. Then I posted on BB ;)

In July I got the all clear when I had a scan and saw bubs little hb flickering away, MS had kicked in by that stage so I was feeling good about it lol.

The pregnancy went ok, bad ms, but not the HG I had with DS1, my main concern was getting the VBAC I was wanting so badly since DS1's birth.

My booking in appt went well, the MW was impressed I wanted a VBAC, but did warn me that there were OB's who were very scared of them and wouldn't "allow" it, she advised me to do my research and be ready to ask heaps of questions and not be afraid to speak up.

Next appt: I asked what the hospital policies were regarding VBAC, she started on about the risk of rupture, I quoted the stats right back at her and she rolled her eyes! I started getting defensive (not ideal) and then couldnt even talk as was fighting back tears... luckily I had DF with me who explained to the reg that my last birth was quite upsetting for me etc, etc, how important it was for me to do this naturally this time etc, etc..

things were ok for a bit with her going on about my chances of vbac being at least 75%, but I should keep an open mind, I very well may end up with another CS, they wont induce (fine by me) will allow me to go to 41+3 then automatic CS, she said that they would like me to come in as soon as labour started (not gonna happen) then be continuously monitored.. I said "nope, not happening, happy for intermittent monitoring but no way am I going to be strapped to the bed again" she looked shocked and said that this is pretty much what is done, but they couldnt force me obviously, they have telemetric monitors, I could go in the shower and walk around etc, I said, yes, thats what you told me last time and it didnt happen, none were available, so what then?
Then she starts going on about putting in a scalp clip, I just shook my head... let DF and her keep going, I had a fight witha MW last time about putting in a scalp clip, didnt happen then, isnt gonna happen now...

anyway, after all that she said they'd want to put a gelco in, I said yep, whatever, and she looked relieved and said I'd be "stupid" not to!!
She booked my next appt with the consulting OB and she seemed to take pleasure in telling me that most of the OBs are very scared of VBACS, if I was lucky I might get one who was supportive of it, but that ultimately no matter who I spoke to, it will all come down to who I get on the day I go into labour, also that the more I try to fight all these policies that are there so my baby and myself are safe and dont die and they dont get sued (actual words!!) the more nervous everyone is going to get and the more likely it is they will want to cut me!!!

anyway, she succeeded in scaring poor DF who I had a rip roaring argument with on the way home due to his asking me if I really want to risk mine and the babies life just so I can feel better....

When we got home I got on the VBAC aust group page and emailed him some links, he came back to me later on and apologised then told me how angry he was that the hospital did what they did first time around, if he'd known better etc....

The next OB was lovely, she was an older lady who told me her own experiences with VBAC, she paidout $$$ to do classes etc, then ended up with ECS anyway..meh..but she was nice, encouraged me to do yoga, explore my feelings etc..

The next OB I saw handed me a sheet with the Hospital Vbac policy on it and said any questions? routine checks then seeya later, you can go to MW care now. fabulous!

Saw the same MW for all the next appts, with a student.

My 40wk appt rolled around and we started talking induction, I said fine, book a date, doesn't mean I will turn up hehehe, as we left, the MW chased me in the carpark and asked us to come back....after talking to an OB (dobbing on me?? LOL) they had decided I was an excellent candidate for their trial of mechanical induction (foley catheter) I had asked about it previously to be told that it was a"new" thing that wasn't done routinely (so not true!) Induction was booked for 2nd of March, 10 days later.

I tried everything to get labour started but bub was just too comfy, I had on and off cramping, thats it...nothing.

My next appt was booked for 5 days later to discuss the induction with the catheter with an OB. The Ob did my obs, and said oooh, you've got high bp, thats not good... I explained that she had just been talking about cutting me open, what did she expect?? (it happened every time, my bp would skyrocket as soon as CS was mentioned...it was even written in my notes!)

Nope she wasn't happy with that, I had to go upstairs have a BT and Urine test, then monitoring, it was all set up, off you go, she took my bp again, oh what do you know, its normal again...

went and had all the tests then was told to go to LDS, I just about had a panic attack as I walked down that corridor, I actually burst into tears and collapsed on the floor with DF trying to get me back on my feet, I did not want to go in there...

They admitted me! :wall: I wasn't happy, I kept asking to go home, I kept getting fobbed off, I asked for my results, kept getting fobbed off, I had to contact mum and dad (who live on the other side of town) to go and pick up DS1 from school. DF had to cancel a job interview...

Another OB came in to do a growth scan, I told her I know how inaccurate they are, why even bother... she said well its obvious youre having a big baby, we just want to rule out any other problems...whatever they were..

We were moved to another room, still waiting for results....I was STARVING!! They wouldnt let me eat, no one would tell us what was going on, but I wasn't allowed to leave, so bloody frustrating!!
We were moved again, it was late afternoon by this stage, we had been at the hospital since 10am. Finally I had a OB come see me who basically said that I had PE, they wanted to induce me ASAP, was I ok with that? no, not really!
DF demanded we get the test results, my urine was borderline reading, my bloods came back normal my BP was normal...
we got moved again while waiting for another OB... it was 11pm at night, I hadn't eaten all day, I was extremely unhappy and the next mw that came in got a nasty talking to from me, she ran off to get an OB.
I just wanted to go home, Ob said no, I said i would sign whatever just let me go home, I did not have pe, they were all so scared and its such a big emergency and yet, no one seems to care if i was there or not! She reluctantly let me go yay! but i did promise to come back the next morning...

the next afternoon about 1pm we rocked up at the hospital, presented at the reception at LDS, the MW gave me a look and made some smart comment about "oohhh so you're the one that caused all the fuss...come back did we?"

ushered into a delivery room, then waited again, at around 6pm, we finally had a visit from another OB, who recognised my name from DS1s birth :) she was great,she started making a plan involving me going home to wait and see and then coming back in for induction at 41+3, as was originally booked.. but then the head of obstetrics came in and tore our plan to shreds, told me my chances were slipping every hour i didnt go into labour and that they really were just being "nice" letting me labour before ultimately having surgery....gah...

I had the catheter inserted, then DF and I spent lots of time walking around the hospital, up and down the stairs, i even jogged all the way up and down the carpark stairs!! no contractions, not even any cramping, we stayed the night, listening to the screams of delivering women alll night long....

Was supposed to be examined at 6am, didn't happen until 8am, met the MW and student who would be with me then the OB came in (original blonde one from downstairs) was told I was 2cm, they removed the catheter, then MW was going to break my water, but she was too scared to do it as bub was sitting so high...my internal alarm bells were going nuts at that point, but I had already agreed to this and I bit my tongue and went along and played nice..
Ob came back in to do it, waters broke in a gush, I jumped up off the bed, strapped on the telemetric ctg, then started marching around the room, trying to bring on CXs, I found a little step stool and started using that as pretend stairs, MW was impressed with my effort, I was really unimpressed with her, she spent the whole time sitting on a computer, with the student in my face, are you ok? youre doing great! I wanted to slap her! and I wasn't even in labour yet!

finally I started contracting, they were getting rather intense so DF and I headed into the shower, oh man, that was BLISS! but then the telemetric thing started playing up, so I had to get out, turns out the batteries were flat, I was offered a scalp clip as they wanted to see how far along I was, I considered this very carefully, (between cxs, which were taking my breath away at this point) it meant the only way I was getting back in the shower, so I finally caved and said ok, but I didn't want to know how much I was dilated, DF could know, but not me.

The mw tried to do scalp clip but bub kept running away and bouncing up, so OB came back in to do it, she was down there for a good 10 mins, with me screaming and crying that it REALLY HURT!! she was unsuccessful and looked worried.

Here I was again living my worst nightmare, stuck on the bed with the CTG, a gelco that was giving me the irrits everytime I moved my hand, no shower, nothing....

I was offered the scalp clip again, I saw no way, I'm sorry but I just can not do that again...

I sat on the bed on my knees holding on to the head board, the MW kept asking me if I wanted the gas yet, want the gas yet? want the gas yet? omg she drove me crazy! next time I know to say just dont offer!
I was handling the CXs really well, I felt fine, I was extremely proud of myself and very determined to give it my best...but man, owwwch...
Eventually I said yes, but only because I overheard her say to DF that I must be in transition... oh how wrong she was...
The gas made me sick, that was the worst decision on my part, saying yes to that, I lost all focus, all control, I forgot I was in labour in between CXs!
everything is very hazy after that point, I know I laboured for 7or 8 hours, I was having less than 30 secs break between cxs lasting a minute and half and more.., I just lost the plot. I remember the MW taking the gas off me and very sternly telling me to get it together, then offering me an epidural, I think I said no...

Then I recall the blonde OB coming back in and looking very sad telling me that she was recommending me to have a cs, I wasnt coping, then she told me I was only 3 cm.....I cried, then demanded the gas back until they got the anesthesitist in... then I complained the whole time about still having CXs if I was having surgery... I wasn't happy!
I was eventually wheeled into theatre, the anesthetic wasn't working, I recall telling someone to get the hell away from me with the catheter because I could feel that! the anesthetist was getting worried, she'd upped the drugs as much as possible that I kept passing out and yet the epi wasn't working at all on my right side... it was a close call, the ob started telling me that they were going to have to do a general when the anaethetist yelled "it's cooking!, it's cooking! give it time!" bless her soul :)

I hid my head under the sheet so I didnt watch the actual surgery being done in the reflection, Ds2 didnt cry when he was born, df got it on video, after they suctioned him and gave him oxygen and weed all over everyone he finally started cough/crying...the Obs explained that they would take their time putting me back together as they would remove all the old scar tissue also.
I was finally holding my baby boy! (whose head btw was COVERED in scratches and bleeding from the failed scalp clips!!)

I gave him his first feed in recovery, where he met his big brother and grandparents, he latched on first go and fed like a champ ever since.

Arl0 Sebastian
6:10 pm
10 pound 6 oz

ahh theres so much more, like his neonates stay etc... I will continue.... :)

While re reading this, I realise that I do sound a touch bitter about my experience, well, yes, I am, BUT I also accept that it was me that chose the surgery in the end.

Thankyou for sharing your story! Must have been hard for you. Welcome to your little one. Love the name btw (if I read it right)

Thanks for sharing Starrysky. I'm sorry things didn't go as you had hoped xx

Congrats on the arrival of your little boy. I feel for you that it didn't go to plan, but glad you had a gorgeous baby in your arms after all the drama.

Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like there is lots to process - be sure to take the time to work through it all.

And congrats!! Love big bubbas :)

Congratulations on the birth of your boy xoxo

I felt so frustrated for you reading your birth story, and it saddens me that you had to fight with them all the way through when you should have been encouraged. But you did an amazing job babe xoxo

I'm so sorry you were treated that way by the hospital. Congratulations on your little boy, and well done for a brave fight hun.

Your story is similar to mine. If you need to debrief, pm me anytime. Xo