My son has no friends

My 7yr old has no friends. [emoji20]

Like most people you will probably reply kindly "no, I'm sure he has some friends". No really, he doesn't!

He doesn't seem fussed by it, but it's breaking my heart. And it means I have no one to ask for help with school pick ups and events! And with a newborn that's a pain!

He plays with his older brother during lunch and recess. Earlier in the year I asked him not to and I think it just meant that he walked around by himself. I would rather he play with his brother and his mates instead of no one at all.

Any advice?! I've asked a mum from the school who's son used to be friends with him, if she might know why, but she never replied to my message. As far as I am aware he is never naughty at school and is a kind and sweet boy. He is good at sport so would have lots in common with other boys.

On the other hand my older son has loads of friends!

If he's not worried, I wouldn't be. I know that it's a pain, but if you worry him about it, he'll worry. Can you ask the class teacher if he has any friends in the classroom?

DS has very few friends, but it worries him so I'm now involving his teacher. We have playdates and he's great one on one, but not at school with the unstructured play.

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If he's not worried, I wouldn't be. I know that it's a pain, but if you worry him about it, he'll worry. Can you ask the class teacher if he has any friends in the classroom?

DS has very few friends, but it worries him so I'm now involving his teacher. We have playdates and he's great one on one, but not at school with the unstructured play.

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Thanks for your reply. How old is your DS? Good luck.

It's good that my DS isn't worried now, but part of me thinks that perhaps it's a good idea to try to sort it out now before he starts to possibly worry about it down the track?

I plan on speaking to the teacher, but to be honest I think she has her hands full with a child with special needs in the class, so I worry if she has the time and energy to observe the social interaction of my quiet and well behaved boy.

I'll stop being worried if there is research to say that kids that don't have friends at his age go on to be confident adults!

Does your older son have any idea about any issues with your younger one and friends? Sometimes kids can be quite perceptive.

I would say that if your older son and his mates play with the younger one without minding, then it means your son does have friends - his older brother and his mates.

As it doesn't bother him, and he is interacting with others at breaks, personally I wouldn't worry too much.

Some kids prefer their own company. And sometimes when we interfere with that it can make them second guess themselves. I honestly think it's best not to push it.

And there is evidence to suggest that kids that don't need to follow the herd or cliques are more likely to be confident. It is often only when we point it out to them that they see it as a problem.

Offer play dates. What are his hobbies? Does he do any extra activities outside school? These things are just as important if not more than who he plays with in the playground.

I know it's scary. But I can assure you coming from both sides id rather my child be independent and confident in that independence than confined to do what his friends are doing.

What great points!
He plays really well with his brother and his brothers mates. DS1 doesn't mind either, and I ask often and tell him what a great big bro he is. Sometimes ds2 even plays with ds1 friends when ds1 is doing something else. So you're right, he does have friends!
He has loads of hobbies, LOVES playing basketball and also does swimming and karate.
Thanks ladies.

My DS is 7 too.

Plus, I had few friends at 7, ok none, and turned out fine. My mother stressed a lot about it though. Did not help me at all. I knew she wanted something of me that I couldn't give.

Maybe he just gets along better with older kids? If he plays with his brother who has a lot of friends maybe these are his friends too? I wouldn't worry if your son doesn't seem sad.