4yo sleep

Dd has just turned 4. She still doesn't go to sleep alone. DS is 6 & doesn't, so that's not really the issue.

Up til now I've always laid with dd & her hand had been down my shirt. While I played with her hair. I'm trying to slowly get them both to sleep in their room (share) with out me.

DS has attachment & anxiety issues, so this will be a long process I think. He's seeing a psyc weekly.

Dd has just never been taught to self settle. After 8 weeks of screaming when weaned (at 2), I introduced a bottle. It is long gone now, but she just can't settle without something...

It's only been 2 night so far. I've refused to lay down & not let her hand in, just held her hand & stroked her hair. She's cried herself to sleep both nights.

I've started playing sleep meditation, but it's not doing anything for her. The one I use slowly tells you to relax from toes to head. Works great on the older girls, DS thinks it's creepy & dd is too young... There goes my miracle cure :lol:

At least she goes to sleep with in 20 minutes usually. DS usually takes an hour minimum...

Suggestions welcome for more age appropriate meditation, preferably an app, or the name of the iTunes I've heard about (that doesn't talk about being in a field with flowers & imagining you're a fairy..) & any thing to help dd detach from me so I can just sit at the end of the bed.
She still doesn't sleep through the night. At 4.

Persistence is obviously going to be the key... I've always tried to avoid letting them cry with older kids needing sleep for school. I guess I messed that up hey :lol:

We use smiling minds meditation app

Sleeping though at 4 is still early. Took DS til 6 to regularly sleep through. I found that acceptance was freeing and I stressed less.

For us, age 4 I started with "mama needs a coffee, back soon." Then took more and more time over my coffee. Took 2 to 3 months before I could say nanight and leave. Even age 7 I don't get away with it every night! But it works often enough.

4 is still very young, as I know you know, but want to say it's ok that you're still needed. Love and support to you, I know it's not easy especially in today's society.

I do know. And because I know now how fast they grow, I'm ok to have her creep in at night.
I've just been doing this for almost 13 years, every single night & as with everything, I'm just over it sometimes.

Hi Clover,

I don't have any advice but just wanted to send you a virtual hug and hope you draw some strength from it. I guess the answer is time and patience. One day they won't do it and we will miss it. I have a 8 yr old that can take up to 2 hours to fall asleep and comes out for everything. I have a 6 yr old that falls asleep at 7pm regardless of when and where! I have a 4 yr old following the 8 yr olds footsteps. *sigh*

:hug:

It is so refreshing to read this. We read our kids to sleep every night. Sometimes one book and sometimes 10 books. It's nice and relaxing though. Rarely any tears as they know they have our attention. We also do the 'I'm going to get a cup of tea and come back in a minute'. It has worked for us sometimes.

I've also found that fresh air in the late afternoon helps ours sleep better. Even if it's cool outside, we rug them up and run them ragged playing chasey and kicking a ball or jumping on the trampoline. The kids love it and it is nice time together. That fresh air and exercise wears them down to a good nights sleep better than anything else we've tried. We just need to do it more often.