To really understand just where my story stems from I need to give some background information back to the birth of my first son. DS1 was born via emergency caesarean after a hellish 18 hours of labour. I had a blocked urinary catheter after a failed epidural and my midwife brushed off my bladder and kidney pains as a first time mum not knowing her own body and it just being labour pain. To put it bluntly, I was in that much pain if I was an animal you would have put me down. It was like experiencing the peak of your worst contraction for 8 hours straight. Suffice to say I was hysterical by the time I threw my midwife out of the room and not long later while the staff were deciding on the best course of action DS1 not surprisingly began to get distressed. They were unable to resite my epidural as I was unable to sit up by then, so I was given a top up of the top shelf drugs into my epidural and once DS1 was out and in my hubby’s arms I was put under a general anaesthetic. I woke 2 hours later and was wheeled up to the ward, on the way they wheeled me into special care nursery where DS1 was and I was able to hold him for the first time for about 30 seconds. It was the only time I would hold him, or even hear how he was doing for the next 12 hours. I tried to sleep but kept having nightmares that I was back in labour. The days that followed were not much better, I was physically a mess and it took about 2 months before I was in any shape to do much due to the labour, caesarean and then an infection in the incision.
About 7 months after DS1 was born we threw caution to the wind and started trying for another baby. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant again after 8 months but it was not meant to be and we lost our second angel this time at 5 weeks. After a couple of months off for an ankle operation we fell pregnant again first month back but again lost our angel. By this time it had been 12 months of trying and many many emotional tears. I had told my hubby we had one more go or til the end of 2014 and then it was time to call it quits, I emotionally couldn’t deal with any more losses or trying to conceive for years on end, it had taken 17 months to get DS1.
Little did I know that I would get pregnant again that month, giving me a due date of October 27th. As I had been diagnosed as type 2 diabetic late last year I knew that the endocrinologists would want me on insulin from very early on. I started appointments at 5 weeks and tested my blood and injected insulin 4 times a day for the duration of the pregnancy. Right from the beginning I was adamant I wanted to have a vbac. Going through the specialist clinic at the hospital again I was surprised to discover that I had been placed under 1 obstetrician to care for me for the entire pregnancy and he was more than willing to support a vbac as long as we could keep everything under control.
The pregnancy was going along smoothly but I was measuring very large. At 30 weeks I was sent for a growth scan and DS2 measured on the 95th percentile. This was obviously a concern considering my diabetes and the vbac. While I knew the scans can be off in size it also corresponded with my belly measurements and DS2 had already measured big at the 20 week scan. In my gut I knew the scan was correct. While my OB was still supportive of my vbac he did indicate that we would need to consider bub being born at 38 weeks. After stewing on this information for a few weeks hubby and I decided that for my mental health and preparation I would opt for a planned caesarean and vbac if the baby decided to come before then. I was pleasantly surprised by my OB who was still happy either way, but I knew mentally I needed the control over this birth unlike the first one.
Roll on 36 weeks and my second growth scan showed DS2 was now on the 97th percentile and I knew I had made the right decision. From about 37 weeks my blood sugar levels were dropping to levels that were making everyone nervous, I wasn’t booked to have my caesarean til 39 weeks, it was brought forward to 38+4 with strict instructions on movements and blood sugar readings. My insulin was also quite dramatically reduced. My body tried and tried between 35 weeks and 38+3 to get bub moved down and into labor but obviously he wasn’t quite baked enough.
October 17th, the planned caesarean date, rolled around and we arrived at the hospital at 7am. I was planned to be first on the list for the day so everything got underway quite quickly. I met my midwife for the day, co-incidentally she actually looked after me after the birth of DS1. I dropped off my 90ml of colostrum to SCN for storage. One of the Ob’s that would be doing the surgery arrived to talk to me and place my cannula, I made a point of saying how DS1’s birth was traumatic to me and that I really wanted something different this time. The resident anesthetist came and did his bit and then it was waiting time. We found out a few minutes before we were due to go to surgery that SCN had requested some more time as they didn’t have a bed ready for DS2 (we knew beforehand that he would go to SCN for monitoring after) so there was more waiting.
Finally it was time…. I was rapt when I saw a room full of women about to do my caesarean. The anaesthetist introduced herself and over the next half hour as they struggled to find a gap in my back big enough to get the spinal in but I was able to express what I really wanted to happen without even realising I was doing it.
Once the spinal was placed it all happened quite quickly and we were having the anaesthetist explain what was happening as they did it, then dropped the sheet so I could see my littlest man born and I could touch him all gooey, I remember someone (i think the Paed) said don't touch him and the anaesthetist said to me "he is your baby you can touch him" so I did. They checked him over and said he would have to go to SCN, but first they wrapped DS2 up and gave him to me to cuddle til they finished my tubal ligation and stitched me up. I couldn't do skin to skin as he was really cold so I did cheek to cheek and lots of kisses etc. (he knew his mumma!)
The paed wanted to take him up to SCN just before they finished closing me up so I requested to try breastfeeding before they took him. He ummed and ahhed and the anaesthetist and Obs (there was 2 of each) all said bub is doing well and they were almost finished so the paed relented, I don’t think he was game to argue with 5 quite determined women. I tried feeding in recovery but DS2 wasn’t interested yet and he was really cold still and he had wet through the blankets so I sent him up to SCN as cold can lower their blood sugars.
I got back to the room and SCN called to check on how I would like DS2 fed, and agreed to bring him to me for a breastfeed before supplementing with my expressed colostrum I had supplied. They reported every blood sugar level to me and even brought him up for a visit for half an hour because they were quiet. He was back with me within 7 hours and it felt like he was barely away from me as he visited so often.
It was amazing, I felt like Supermum, I had been able to hold my baby straight away, I was able to feed him (well try) before he was whisked away from me, and I felt that my wishes in both wanting to breastfeed and supplementary feeds were honoured and respected. I honestly received more than I could have asked for.
I know this experience was far from what some would consider empowering or some would even cringe at having to have a caesarean but from the previous experience I had and the possibility that I may have experienced that awful memory again it was control in an uncontrollable situation and I truly felt amazing after it was all over.
For the record the scans were correct, DS2 was born at 38+4 and measures on the 90th percentile for full term babies, so if he had have gone to 40 weeks then he really would have been a big one and it was all genetics with every single blood sugar level for 3 days coming back perfect.
Stats:
Weight: 4020gms (8lb13oz)
Height: 53cm
Head Circ. 35.5cm
