Sleeping for you vs sleeping for others

Anyone else notice a huge difference in how kids sleep for you compared to others?

Both my kids go to daycare. When they're with me, they breastfeed to sleep (or DD did when she was younger). DS is breastfed to sleep every time, and DD no longer naps but when she did, and wasn't breastfeeding anymore, the only thing that worked was a walk in the pram and I couldn't move her. At daycare it's a totally different story though!

For day naps, in the toddler rooms they get out little camp type beds, and they're all lined up. Kids lie down and go to sleep. Apparently DD was the easiest, she'd just lie down and sleep. When they first told me I nearly passed out from shock, but they said she'd always done that in the toddler room. And now DS. DH asked how they get him to sleep, because when DD was a baby they had to rock her or put her in a bouncer, she never slept in a cot. But DS, they just put him in a cot, awake, and he goes to sleep!

He just goes. to. sleep. WTF? Why not for me? Well I know why, security etc, he knows they can't breastfeed him and I can. But still! Would be lovely to put him down and not have him immediately cry and start grabbing the air for me lol.

The only way I can get Spock to nap for me (aside from the car) is bf. Everyone else (dh, my parents) she will just cuddle on the couch with them and doze off. She won't do that for me, she will cuddle me on the couch, but will either harass me for milk or jump up and keep herself busy so she won't sleep.
She lays down and sleeps at care, I asked them how they did it and got a room full of toddlers all to sleep at the same time. They said you wear them out in the morning, fill their bellies, and then turn down the lights turn on some peaceful music and make a game of laying down...and they all just pass out.

Is completely normal - both mine totally different at daycare to at home (although DD was not particularly difficult). DS (3) no longer naps at home, but will at daycare - I said to him how do you go to sleep at daycare - he said "they get out my mat, I lie down, I shut my eyes and go to sleep - I said to him why don't you do that for me he said "because you are mum" :-).

Kids eat differently at daycare too, behave differently in other regards apart from sleep - it is pretty frustrating I agree. The way I make myself feel better about it is to tell myself that kids behave so well (including sleep) at daycare etc. when they feel safe and secure and happy at home - because they know they don't need to act up at daycare as can get the whole not sleeping fussing about what they eat misbehaving etc out of their system at home. :-)

I think at care too because all the other kids are doing it they just follow suit yanno? Mine are the same, cuddle, rock or pat to sleep with me at home, much more independent at care. I think too there is so much more activity at childcare that they get more genuinely tired at care then they would at home in a a 1on1 situation. DD sleeps a little shorter at care, but goes to sleep easily, whereas at home she'll take 20-30 mins to go to sleep but sleep for 2-3 hours.
Both my kids have eaten much more varied at care too, they are more likely to try a food when everyone else is eating it, rather than Mum urging them to try

I think to that at home with Mum they are at their most comfortable and will sometimes act out cos its a safe place. Where as at care they are more likely to go with the flow

Totally normal, parents tell us this all the time. From completely different behaviour to the point where we just can't imagine the child ever doing those things, to sleeping when they never do at home, and other things. It's a variety of things, the 'everyone's doing it' is definitely a big one, different people, different perceived expectations, etc.
I have told parents (when discussing tantrums and tears over nothing in older children) that it is definitely easier for us as the tears do not effect us as much as when they are your own.

We also have children who sleep less than at home and things too. A big difference is often how many bottles a child will drink - especially a younger toddler, who can be a bit finicky with drinking bottles given by others. Most of the time they are just fine though.