The birth of Elliott- he's finally here!

I thought I should post my story since he's now 4 weeks old! It was a hard labour but I avoided a caesarean even though my dr and the midwives both thought it was highly likely that I would need one. I'm nothing if not stubborn...

I went in to the hospital on Saturday night and was admitted for the induction. Being 10 days overdue my doctor was pretty keen to get the process started and he was willing to wait until the Monday, but there was no room for me to be induced that week, so Saturday was the plan. The Midwife Liz looked after me that night and got me settled in until my Dr came and checked how dilated I was. Like the previous few weeks he was still high and my cervix was closed and high. He administered the first dose of gel and recommended I take some painkillers and sleeping tablets. I'm glad I did because otherwise I would never have slept in that bed. I did feel the "prostin pains", but the panadeine forte and tamazepan wiped them out pretty quick. Even so, my sleep was interrupted frequently by the noise of the ward. Unfortunately Daniel wasn't able to stay with me that night either, and he said he slept pretty poorly too.

Sunday morning came and I was checked again and my cervix was softer and slightly effaced. Second dose was given and I was told to walk, walk, walk. Well, that's what we did. It wasn't long before I had some painless contractions, and the stairs I went up and down certainly brought them on even more.

At lunchtime I was checked (again), and this time I was told I was much more effaced and it was looking good. He was happy to let me keep going but encouraged me to rest as well, since I would need my strength later. I went for a short walk and another stair climb and then we came back to the room. I decided that I would rest, and Daniel would go and have a shower to freshen up.

The room I was in was a shared room (hence why Daniel couldn't stay). We get back to find that I was getting my own room (YAY!) - public hospital with only two private rooms on the ward at that time (renovations meant maternity and children's ward were sharing the ward), I was lucky! I then lay down to have a rest, earphones in with some nice music. I must have dozed for about half an hour before the contractions really turned up the intensity. Daniel had just before I had laid down gone to have a shower at home at this point and he got back about half an hour later. When he got back I wasn't convinced that these contractions were the start of anything or not so we just waited for my OB to come back. This was about 4:30pm.

Then at about 6:00pm my doctor arrived and we moved to the birth suite to check my cervix. 3cm! I was quite happy - it meant I was actually going into labour after all! I had my membranes ruptured then and was monitored for half an hour. Staying on the bed was horrible and I was soon out of breath - breaking my waters really did the trick. The midwife said I would probably be in for a long night so suggested pethadine so I could get some rest. After a full on day and a so so sleep the night before I agreed. She gave me a small dose with some maxalon to prevent nausea. The pethadine made me doze for an hour but I then went and had a shower. I was quite content in the warm water until I started getting dizzy. I then went back to the room to recoup - I have a history of low blood pressure and passing out in showers...

Then I walked, rocked against Daniel for I don't know how long, then had another half hour of monitoring. The OB then came back. It was nearly 10:30pm by now and I was still 3cm. Damn. The contractions were nearly on top of each other, at most I had 1-2 minutes break. I couldn't believe that it was so intense and no progress! I was exhausted. I was moaning through them, rocking, leaning over the bed. Not screaming thank god - I had hoped I wouldn't be a screamer!

My OB was concerned that I am not progressing and wants me to keep going for as long as I'm comfortable doing so, but warns that it may end in Caesarean anyway. I ask him for some more time and to try more walking and maybe the gas. I get up and walk but I get down the hall and almost feel like I won't make it back.

Eventually I do make it back, only for exhaustion to really strike now. I stand propped against Daniel and just sway through them. I ask for the gas, lay on my side propped up and have a suck just before and during the next contraction, and nearly lose the plot completely. It made me hysterical- like I could not handle the pain any more. What a mistake that gas was. I threw the nozzle across the room. Daniel then had to calm me down for the next few contractions. I gather myself back up again, and my midwife checks me again. 12:00 by now and I am still 3cm. This is when I say epidural. I figured if I kept going like this I would end up in theatre anyway, getting an epidural and a caesarean, so it could help and give me rest, and maybe relax for him to come down a bit more.

It was probably not that long until the anaesthetist arrived but I was sure that it was hours. My contractions by this point were brutal. I don't know how I stayed still through them long enough to let my lovely Scottish anaesthetist to put the epidural in. Without Daniel, I am sure I wouldn't have been able to.

After the epidural was in I slept for about an hour or so. During the ruckus before my epidural my midwife changed. The lovely Marion from Ireland was now looking after me she would eventually be the midwife that helped deliver my . I was calm enough after this to actually talk to her about something. The fog has set in and I can't remember what, but it was a bit surreal. They had started the drip when the epidural was in to make sure my contractions never stopped. I watched them on the monitor and they were good ones! And I only felt the smallest touch of them. My legs however were numb.

Daniel had gone to sleep and was snoring in the corner. At 2am, Marion thought she should check my dilation. She said it was probably still a way off, but wanted to make sure I was progressing still. Boy did she get a shock when I was 9cm with a lip! She pushed the lip back, and went to call my OB. I then called out for Daniel to wake up. He was a bit shocked I think when the midwife said that it was almost time.

We then waited and my epidural was turned down. The OB arrived soon after and I was complete. Since my legs were still numb I had my legs propped up against Daniel and Marion. Not the best way to push, but my options were limited.

When it was time to push, I found it hard at first to push effectively. The midwife and my OB told me to push toward a finger they placed down there, and that got the right things happening. I was giving it all I had and he was slowly descending but after nearly 2 hours, I was getting too tired. My OB then said he was going to help him out with the ventouse. I pushed my little heart out, managing 3 or 4 big pushes each contraction. I could feel each contraction, him coming down but oddly I never felt myself tearing. I knew it was close because I felt like throwing up between contractions. As I would push I would close my eyes, but when I reopened them, someone had moved my sick bag, and I would crack up. Each time I opened my eyes I would ask for it - why do you keep moving it!? I knew it was coming up - I just didn't know when. After 9 months of vomit free pregnancy, I vomited violently and got it on everyone. My OB, my Midwife, and Daniel. And of course myself. After a couple of pushes with the ventouse and a huge push at the end, my son was finally born at 4:11am on Monday the 30th of March. As he was born I made the most guttural sound, like a wild animal. When he was born they immediately jabbed me in the thigh with the syntocinon shot. I barely noticed, barely cared. He was rather quiet after he was born, didn't cry, just whimpered a little until he was put on my chest.

Daniel and I just cried together and looked at him. I lost focus on what was going on down the other end, until I was asked to push the placenta out. Then I was back to baby. My OB was moving my legs into the stirrups to stitch up my second degree tear. One big long running stitch inside and out. My blood loss was a bit concerning and they passed Elliott to Daniel and pushed on my stomach to pass a clot, and it ended up being 1.3 litres lost. All this was done calmly though so even when I heard how much I had lost I wasn't worried.

What happened next however got me very worried. About half an hour to an hour afterwards, after my stitches were done and my epidural was off, I noticed that my arms were going numb and I was getting short of breath. Then I felt like I was going to pass out and I was shaking. The nurse and midwife were there and started taking blood pressure and temperature but it all seemed normal. They still don't know exactly why it suddenly started to affect me that way after it was off, but it lasted for a couple of hours. I was getting quite upset and losing control of my hands - I couldn't move them where I wanted, my body was not doing what I wanted. I was exhausted and I could see Daniel sitting across the room with our son having skin to skin because I was out of it and had the midwife (a new one by now) checking me every few minutes.

This is when I lost it and started to cry. All I wanted was to hold him but I hadn't held him since he was born and I was losing all that blood. Daniel then put him on my chest and wrapped my hands around him. That was all I wanted, my son and my man with me.

Almost immediately after that I started to feel better. I started to get feeling slowly back in my hands, and my feet started tingling. I still felt like I might pass out but I just kept talking to my boy. I don't know what I said - I was just babbling about anything- I think I told him at one point about the cat... It worked to keep me from going under. After a couple of hours recovering in the birth suite, and after our first breastfeed and he was weighed and measured, I was allowed to go to the shower. Heaven. But walking was like I needed to learn to walk all over again. There were numb patches on my legs for two days.

I'm fairly confident that I wouldn't have had my son vaginally without the epidural, as it would have gone for too long and I would have been too wrecked to push - if I even got to 10cm. However I'm not happy with the side effects of the epidural that occurred afterward. I know that there is always a risk of these things happening with an epidural. I have never been so scared for my health, and at one point I remember thinking if I let myself go and let unconsciousness take me, I might not wake up, and I was terrified. I know now that I was probably being a bit over dramatic, and probably not in any real danger, but I was scared to miss out on any moment with my son too. He got heaps of skin to skin time between when he was born and on me, then on Daniel and then back to me.

I am positive that having my son on my chest was not just beneficial for him, but for me as well, it lifted me emotionally (I was pretty cut up that I barely held him and was in that scary situation) and I think that carried over to my body. I have a healthy boy to cuddle, and that's the best medicine.